Ugh, my mother's day sucked

Samara - posted on 04/25/2012

Dear Lord! that is out of order - cause really if it's not HIS thing then he should have nothing on Christmas, his birthday and fathers day but it's unreasonable for you to be expected to accept that on your own special occasions!! even if the day went flat because of issues beyond your control, you should be given a rain check day or at least a few hrs to be taken out or left alone - whatever treat you prefer.



you are completely correct to think that the kids NEED to be taught to acknowledge times like these, it doesn't mean presents are totally necessary but a special thought, extra good behaviour, more hugs and kisses than usual are all easy things they can do for you to show they consider your feelings too and love and appreciate you.



next year you will have a 5, 3 and 1 yr old so they will be capable of something resembling a special day for you, i definately think you need to explain yourself to hubby in preparation for this and if it seems to fall on deaf ears then i would quite happly suggest a direct retaliation - IE - make concrete plans to be away on fathers day and leave him with all 3 kids - making sure to cover your bases....family who sympathise with your issue here should be informed not to take the responsibility of the kids off his hands that day either. - do this only once as i don't want to be responsible for a complete breakdown of communication here hahahaha but hopefully that will be all it takes for it to sink in long term.

Lenae - posted on 05/13/2011

Dont' feel bad. Not everyone has a great Mother's Day. Mine sucked big time as well. My husband was the one who slept i n while I got 4 kids ready in the morning at 7am for church. He didn't tell me Happy Mothers day till 4pm, and then we went to his mom's house. Got there his car broke, and I was the one who had to tow his ass home. My kids made me gifts and that is what made my day great, but he didn't tell me how he loves me, or appreciate anything, or at least you got a gift! I got nothing from him. not even a coffee, from our own coffee pot...

I think we have expectations of how our husbands should trat us on mothers day and when it does not happen, we get hurt even worse. At least that waht always happends to me. I learned this past Mothers day, after hours of crying, that I really don't want or expect anything from my husband anymore because that is not who he is.....I have 4 wonderful kids and as long as I have their love, that's all I want.....

But sorry your day didn't go well.

Mirie - posted on 05/13/2011

That's a shame. Most men are like that Lisa. They don't think birthdays, valentines day, anniversaries are important. I think it's a handful of men that really makes an effort on special days.

Bottom line, if you want something done, you'll probably have to do it yourself. My husband did the barbeque, I did the rest. And I told my husband to get me something as our boy is too small to do it himself.

I put in the effort to make it special for him & I expect the same from him and I tell him that.

Hope next year's better! Chin up, when your kiddies are old enough I'm sure they'll spoil you! :)

Megan - posted on 05/12/2011

My husband tells me I am not his mother so he doesn't have to get me anything..

Jamie - posted on 05/12/2011

From one Invisible mom to another you're welcome.
also...on the one day that is set aside to recognize MOM tell hubby,in advance what you would like, remind him that when you feel pampered and relaxed that good things happen not only for you, "When Momma is happy everyone is happy."Quote Dr. Phil

Julie - posted on 05/12/2011

Next year - a few days BEFORE Mother's Day tell him what would mean the most to you on your day ..."Honey, I would love to go out to lunch with JUST YOU..." or something like that.
Guys cannot read our minds NOR are they sentimental as a rule -

Jennifer - posted on 05/12/2011

Well....I'm not technically a stay at home mom....although I lost my job that I had for almost ten years back in December (wasn't that sweet of them) and am a single parent of two kids, both from two boys (I say boys because they aren't men in any definition of the term) who hasn't helped a day in their life, not really. The real bio father of my older daughter has never even met her in person and I doubt she even remembers talking to him once or twice years ago on the phone. Since I decided to break up with the younger ones father after three years of the same and my vision that it'll ever change fizzling faster and faster, hasn't seen his daughter at all. Isn't it funny how there are some males out there that can not care about their children? I'll never understand it.
My mother's day usually consists of me taking my children out and buying my own mother's day meal, and trying to have a good day without thinking about what day it is lol. BUT I didn't have a job for months now and I came down to the last of my taxes (although I didn't realize I had my child support payment, the first court ordered one from my younger child, in because it was on the card that they just put it on lol) so I couldn't take us out lol. I figured, oh, well, I'll just cook dinner for us, try to make it a nice, upbeat atmosphere....that didn't happen. I woke up and every time I walked around, no matter how short the distance, I would feel like I had a headache, or the verge of a migraine....and I felt like throwing up! Beautiful. Only time I didn't feel like that was when I was sleeping or trying to! Thankfully one of the downstairs neighbors came up and wanted to take the baby. If I had been feeling well I would have said, "No," but because I felt like crap and wanted to sleep lol I let them take her. I spent the majority of the day in bed as every time I would get up I would get the same feeling. I kept hoping it would go away with more sleep. My older daughter kept coming to me occassionally asking if I would play with her. I kept telling her, "Later," or "Pretty soon." And I added, "I promise, okay?" So I made myself get up in the earlier evening, after 5, and lay in the livingroom and play blocks with her. The neighbors had invited us down for spaghetti. Not my fave meal but I appreciated the gesture. Making it down there was a very slow process and by the time I hit the second flight of stairs (there's 2 flights of 8 steps) I knew that it was going to happen. I booked it down by the time I got down I was making unnatural noises lol and flew the door open, rushed to the bathroom with one of them asking, "Are you okay?" and did what I had to do several times. After that I felt much better health wise lol but wouldn't eat for another hour or two because I was uncertain of my stomach.
I wondered how come my daughter didn't bring home anything from school for mother's day and she ended up giving it to me on Tuesday (she didn't go to school on Monday since I had felt like crap the day before). Then I wondered how come she didn't bring it home on Friday lol. The person she calls "daddy" (one of my ex's) took her out for dinner on Saturday and when he brought her back she gave me a card. Guess he asked her if she wanted to buy me a card for Mother's day and she said yes so he had her pick one out and bought it and had her give it to me. I was shocked because he hasn't done anything for me for mother's day since we broke up! Even if it was Brycelyn that he bought it for it technically was for me, so I felt somewhat happier about the thought of having to cook my own meal on Sunday lol. Also on Thursday his (the same ex that bought her the card to give to me lol) parents took the girls and me out to dinner for Mother's day because they weren't going to be here on that weekend and wanted to take me out. So actually the days leading up to (and two days after when I got the gift my daughter made in school) were better than they had been in a while, but, on Mother's day for the most part I felt like crap, literally.
Only one of their bio fathers have my number still and he didn't bother to call, of course. LOL Figures.

I have an idea for you....on Father's day, you should think of something that he does that is really for you (and that you would like), and say that you want to get THAT for him as a father's day gift! Make sure that if he wants to eat lunch with his mom that you insist that you grab lunch and go home because you want to spend the rest of the day relaxing and reading in the tub (just a fill-in lol) after having to give birth to his children.

Lisa - posted on 05/12/2011

@ Jamie - That's really beautiful! Thank you!

Roberta - posted on 05/12/2011

trust me i know what it is like to have a hubby not put forth any effort into mothers day, birthday, etc... its showing disrespect and lack of effort and lack of caring and sets a terrible example for the kids. know what i did? i took my kids to the mall, bought presents for myself (they helped pick out some clothes) and planned my own mothers day. that day i made special breakfast ONLY for me and kids, went out with kids to do what i planned (church and lunch) came home for nap. then when i woke with kids and hubby made no supper i took kids out for ice cream for supper. so i spent alot of money and enjoyed time with my kids and took pictures and ate junk and had a great day. no more disappointment. if hubby doesnt like it, guess they need to do the spending/planning so they are included and comfortable with money spent! try it, it works. i dont wait anymore, why set myself up for being hurt and disappointed when i can be alone and happy and enjoy time with my kids? oh, and do something for your own mother, but make hubby take care of his own mother. i do now. why should you bother with motherinlaw, that is his responsibility. your mom is yours. good luck.

Kelly - posted on 05/12/2011

I'm sorry to have to chime in with all the others, but at least you know you're not alone...23 years married, four kids, oldest of which is 19, and no recognition of the day from any of the males in my house. My 9-year-old daughter had bought me something weeks ago with her own money and was very pleased to have that to give, in such a sweet way. My youngest daughter had already given me her handmade gifts from preschool. But no, most guys just don't get it at all. I do the planning for something for my mother and his, I will probably always do something for my daughters when they are moms, and sadly I will probably also need to do something for my daughters-in-law when the time comes. Such is life. Its best not to hope, so as not to be disappointed. :)

Jamie - posted on 05/12/2011

I'm always disappointed with Mother's Day. DH tries but he always does/gets what he wants not what I want! (Same for my birthday) So this year I said screw it, I'm planning my own mother's day, and everyone is going to be happy about it! My kids are little (1 and 3). I planned brunch, the zoo, bit of an afternoon for me and the baby :) and my favorite pizza for dinner. I had to do all the work but I had a great day and got what I wanted!

Allie - posted on 05/12/2011

My son made a bird house and a card at school and we got home Friday afternoon (my husband doesn't work on Friday's) and my son got so excited, ripped open the bag (that was for my mother's day), ran and gave it to my husband. He was so excited to give it to him and was really cute about it, but I will admit that my heart sank a bit. Then my husband randomly had to go out of town Sunday night..

I was talking to my dad and he said (jokingly) to just lower my expectations about holidays then be pleasantly surprised when/if it happens in the future...





And all-in-all it wasn't bad... I'm very blessed.

Shastin - posted on 05/12/2011

My friend and I have an inside joke. We just say that "men are stupid." I think that sums it up sometimes.

Taryn - posted on 05/12/2011

i hear ya, my mothers day sucked too! i have an 11yr son, 10 yr stepson, 8yr old twins and a 17month old son, my day was hectic as is most day, but for some reason the kids picked that day to act their baddest and get all my nerves. one of the 8 yr old twins has got adhd and autism and just seem to be having an off day for him and the 17month old just didnt stop all day, and hubby was no where to be found all day. i thought the kids would have brought me home a card from school but they didnt, not one happy mothers day from anyone at home, thank good for facebook it was the only place i heard people say happy motherss day. on top of that im 8 weeks pregnet and i fought morning sickness for the first half of the day, which didnt help. i think next year i will give eveyone 24hr notice, and make at least a homemade card manditory. lol

Jamie - posted on 05/12/2011

Dear Lisa I was having a very Blue day not long ago and came across this short story, I hope it will bring some peace to you I wish I had wrote down who it came from or what site but I didn't and I just want to share it with you. It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner,because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands,nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter,
never to be seen again.She's going, she's going, she's gone!?One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England .Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.
I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said,'I brought you this.It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me,four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals
- we have no record of their names.
These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me,'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over.
You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become. At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction.But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished,to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving,'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then,if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're going to love it there.' As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built,
but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Great Job, MOM!

Stacey - posted on 05/12/2011

I think this is more common then not..
this was my 8th mother's day, I have as of yet to have a GOOD one. My kids fought, my oldest pouted because I didn't want to go out to eat where she did.. I probably won't have a good mother's day until they are mothers..

PS my 2 year old got me Pens (from DH) my 3 year old got me baking dishes (from DH too..) my oldest did make me a cool piece of pottery at school though..

Pepper - posted on 05/11/2011

Ya my Mothers Day was kinda cruddy too. We have a 11mo and it was my very first mothers day. I got nothing. Not so much as a flower picked from the back yard. My partner spent all day working on the computer.
I love him but come on! Really? I feel for ya.

Shannintipton - posted on 05/11/2011

Lisa, I am sorry to hear that. (in a high voice) I got to go to the doctors and then my MILs house. It sucked too. So sorry. {:+)

Lisa - posted on 05/11/2011

To Laura P.
Gotta love those Dandelion Bouquets...enjoy them while u still get them!

Sueha - posted on 05/11/2011

my husband never got me anything for any holiday, birthday, anniversity or anything and we have been married for 8 yrs. i complained to my sister and the best advice she told me was "guys are stupid and they don't know they are suppose to do anything unless you tell them" so from that day forth i start reminding him a month in advance on whats coming up and i even tell him sometimes exactly what i want because other than that he doesn't know what to get. last year for our anniversity he handed me $200 bucks and told me to go buy my own ring...i really really wanted him to pick it out but thats as good as it gets. i have three children too, 7, 5, 3 (about the same years apart as your kids) and it gets better with time. my second son made me a jewerly box at school and put it in a nice bag, when he got home from school i asked him if that was mine and he said NO. he opened the box, took out all the candy (that was suppose to be for me ) and then gave me the empty box LOOL he is following in his daddy's footsteps hahahaha if you want a special day your gonna have to plan it and tell them exactly what you want because men don't know anything. (sn the kids clogged the toliet on mother's day and knocked off the electric socket off the wall, nothing goes right with kids but you have to laugh at them LOOOL)

Chairettie - posted on 05/11/2011

LOL... I'm sorry - your post was funny how you wrote it. But you are right - he should get the kids to understand what mommies day is and at least get a card from them to you. Have you talked to him about what you would like for Mother's Day - like ask him to take you for dinner - lunch or something. Or just tell him on Mothers Day from now one you aren't cooking lunch/dinner you want to go out...or that you would like flowers and a card would be nice...My husband told me men do not think like women and if we would mention it or ask (not beat around the push or whatever) that men would KNOW what we want instead of us assuming they should know....good advice. That being said my husband was gone...he mailed me three cards one from him and two different cards from our twins (10 months old)... I got no flowers - no meal no gift....he got home around 11 pm from a two week trip. He did think to get you chocolate and a mug that you will likely use quite often so his gift though cheat and seemingly a oh yeah it is mothers day.....it was tasty and useful :o) They say - who ever they are.... that being a mother is a thankless job. Funy how we covet it, resent and love it all the same LOL....I am sorry you had a rough day yesterday....Happy Belated Mother's Day Lisa

Schmoopy - posted on 05/11/2011

Lisa, you are not alone!!! My husband cut ONE flower from our garden and gave it to me in a tiny vase, alongside two more flowers - one for his mother, and one for my daughter (who isn't going to be a mother anytime soon, as she's only 8 years old).

I, too, had to coordinate my own Mother's Day brunch. There was no breakfast in bed or anything spearheaded by my DH. My daughter, who loves to celebrate any occasion, gave me several wonderful gifts - a handmade card, a poem, and a friendship bracelet. She was really the only one who made me feel appreciated on that depressing day.

I'm sorry that your DH doesn't know how to make you feel appreciated. That's a terrible thing. Nobody should have to feel that way.

Krystel - posted on 05/10/2011

I think when fathers day comes around or his birthday do him the way he does u! make hime feel the way u feel since talking to him dont help.

Lisa - posted on 05/10/2011

Regarding the hubby not getting it issue....don't get discouraged.
Here's two tips....not sure how long u have been married....we just celebrated 17yrs in December.
!. Make sure you let him know....sometime around Easter or late April...what you would like to do for Mother's Day. Give him a few gift ideas or outing ideas or whatever u would like to celebrate your special day...breakie in bed, brunch, order supper in etc.
As women, we would LOVE for our husbands to know intuitively what we desire, but most of the time, they don't know if we don't tell them...I remember when my 3rd was born, I told my husband that when I had had our first 2, he never even brought me flowers. So I said when she comes, I want flowers, a stuffed animal and balloons...I wasn't pleased to have to ask but I had heard that men aren't mind readers so I tried it....and on the morning after she was born (10:16pm) he came to the hospital with beautiful roses, a teddy bear and an "It's a Girl" balloon...it paid off.....(now I realize, I really didn't need any of those things and the fact that he took the time and brought ALL my requests showed me just how much he really loved me!!!)
2. If you don't know about it already, read the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman....it sounds like your love languages is Gifts and your husband's is not....Google it and it might help some.
Oh, and Happy belated Mother's Day Lisa!!!!!

Lisa - posted on 05/10/2011

Hi....sorry u had a sucky Mother's Day :(
Special days are important to me as well....so I look forward to them and I usually make a big deal over birthdays. So naturally, when my family does not live up to my expectations for a special day, I feel let down and disappointed. I find this especially true around Mother's Day and I think this is because as a Mom (my girls are 14, 12 &9) I do so much and so often I feel unappreciated. I know that this is not true, but it often feels that way...so I know that with such young ones, it feels that much more so. (does that make sense?)
So this yr. I told my girls what's the sense of celebrating Mother's Day if all the other days, you give me a hard time....I was having a moment.
But a miracle happened on Sunday morning....I realized (not like I didn't already know this, but I really realized) that how I chose to spend my day was up to me (my husband had to work alllllllll day). So I decided that I would choose to have a great day with my girls....that whatever the day brought, I would choose to be happy and to celebrate all the good things....(usually my hubby takes them shopping but not this yr)...however, they each made me something at school and I loved their gifts.
So from now on, instead of getting my hopes up on special days, I will choose to enjoy the blessings and leave the disappointments at the cross!!

Cara - posted on 05/10/2011

Thank you all for really pointing out to me how lucky i am to have my husband. I get annoyed at times because he "doesn't help as much as i think he should" and things like that. But pretty much any time ask him to do something for me he does. I didn't get to spend mother's day with him since he had to leave last week for a job where we are moving to. I didn't get any presents (all our money went to bills and him moving), but I did receive a very sweet text when i woke up in the morning and got to talk to him later that day. It really sucked not getting to spend my day with the one person that gave me the best gifts ever, my daughters. but after seeing all these i realized, even tho i spent mine alone with just my kids i still felt appreciated and loved. I'm sorry so many of you had a bad mothers day, but make sure your husband knows how you feel. A little communication can go a LONG way!

Montana - posted on 05/10/2011

SAME PROBLEM HERE! My hubby didnt even get me anything from a gas station! He got me nothing! you know how I spent MY Mother's Day?? Waking up with the baby with a hangover (went out the night before for drinks with an old friend I havent hung out with in years!), Watching my hubby work in the yard literally ALL day and I did NOT complain once until..... He FORGOT that I told him the night before that since he forgot to get me a gift I wanted him and the kids to take me to dinner. You know what happened next? He FORGOT about dinner and asked his parents down for dinner withOUT telling me so when I thought it was time to get ready for to go he says "Oh yeah. My mom and dad are coming over to grill." I cooked... for HIS MOM... on MY Mother's Day... WTF? We had already given her a $40 gift that day. Fan-F-ing-tastic. Story of my life. And to be clear... I told him I didnt need him to buy me a gift. He couldve helped my 4 yr old and 1 yr old make a card for me. And like you... last Christmas was my first Chrismas getting a gift, too. Men are so unthoughtful.

Sheila - posted on 05/10/2011

Don't feel too bad, I didn't get anything, and my SO didn't even wish me a Happy Mothers Day until almost 9 pm

Liz - posted on 05/10/2011

I'm uncomfortable with the artificial pressure of holidays/special occasions -- even as the recipient.

It sounds weird, but I'm not even sure I want my son (he's only 8 months right now) to recognize Mother's Day. I don't want him to feel like he has to fake his feelings in order to satisfy some commercial idea.

Not appreciating your spouse, not helping out, being selfish -- aren't these year-round problems? They don't magically appear/disappear on holidays. I don't care about material gifts, but there has to be respect, appreciation and understanding all year long (everyone has bad days of course).

Carmina - posted on 05/10/2011

i have the same problem and i got nothing at all! i get a kiss and happy mothers day lol. never got anything for my birthday or any occasion. i dont expect it anymore. it upsets me too but i know he still appreciates me.. just would be nice for him to make the effort like every other male i know to their woman. and i even NAGGGGG him before the days giving him lots of time to remember to buy something, but it has just never happened!

Tracey - posted on 05/09/2011

Do you know how many men fall into this category?? I have watched my Dad juggle buying valentines for me, my sister, my mom and his mom...all from whatever convenience store was close when he remembered. Mothers day was the same deal. Some men do not take well to hints...what you need to do is be very clear and say, " I would love X this mothers day or Birthday or Christmas or whatever. It may not seem romantice, but you will not be disappointed.

It is the thought that counts. Do not buy into all these commercialized ideas of what everyone else gets because trust me...we all arent getting diamonds for every holiday!! With three kids and this economy you are really lucky your husband could afford the coffe mug AND the candy bar. This year... I planned my own day...we went yard sale-ing..I had a blast. We came home and I got the kids into yard work and now when I sit out and relax the yard is beautiful. Customize the day for YOU...dont expect prince charming to save the day...plan ahead. Take it from an old married lady...you will enjoy your special days much more if you do!! :)

Tameka - posted on 05/09/2011

Haha!! The same thing happened to me! I've accepted long ago that my hubby doesn't do the 'gift giving' thing. It's not everyone's cup of tea. I actually bought my own gift. And I didn't mind one bit! It is really how you approach these things.

My day started at 4:45am when my 16 month old decided that was an appropriate time to wake up. After a 45 minute tantrum I gave up and started the morning routine. No one wished me a happy mother's day until 7:50am. Even then it was from my hubby's stepfather (was staying with us that weekend). I cooked breakfast. I cooked lunch. I cooked dinner. My youngest screamed at me for most of the day and my eldest (5 in a few weeks) did nothing but whinge at me ALL DAY. Nothing positive came out of my children's mouths that whole day. In the afternoon I bundled everyone in the car and we went to a nice coffee shop for an afternoon treat. My eldest drank her drink and started to whinge for mine. I took my girls for a walk and my hubby bought a toy for them. So they got a gift on mother's day! After their bath that evening I figured the day is almost over and there was hardly a smile anywhere. So I started playing a chasing game with my girls. I ened up flat on my back unable to move. I slipped over on the tiles and heard a distinct crunch sound as I landed on my lower back. My poor husband didn't know what to do! I'm still in a fair bit of pain but can move freely so I doubt there is any damage. The one time I try to have fun I almost end up in hospital with spinal injuries!

After saying all that I had a brilliant day on saturday with my family. And yesterday with my girls was one of the best in a long time. My husband appologised for not buying me a proper gift but I don't care. I feel truly blessed to have two wonderful children in my life and a husband who loves me unconditionally. We're all entitled to our bad days. Unfortunately mine just happened to be mother's day. Forget the materialistic sides of things. I think you are so very lucky to have 3 healthy children. I know quite a few women who's arms remain empty and not by choice. But then again, I'm a 'glass half full' kind of person. Sending you lots of hugs and you are doing a brilliant job raising your three little angels!

Laura - posted on 05/09/2011

So sorry to hear all you mom's didn't have a good day and I can relate.My man lives in a different state for his job and I don't get to see him much.His cousin was the first to tell me happy mother's day in a text and his mom told me on the phone the day before.He did finally call me and wish me a happy mother's day later.He and I talked about it and he also thought he had a week to get me something and found out from his mom he was wrong about the date.He asked me what I wanted and planned to send me the money so I could get myself what I wanted and I know a card is on its way to me as well as one from his mom and dad.When I told him I didn't know he thought money would help me find something.Then I told him I wanted a Pandora bracelet but I knew they cost some money.He said he would send money every paycheck until I had enough to buy one,I thought that was so sweet and I am so not used to someone getting me nice things.He has been such a sweetheart about taking care of me and showing he cares and I guess I can take that over romance.Still would love to see some and I thing I will have to help him with that one.Well my son did bring me some dandelions from the front yard,put in wax paper to keep forever.

Stifler's - posted on 05/09/2011

I buy my own present so I get exactly what I want. But I do expect a card! A lot of men seem to have this thing where they think cards don't matter and that we think the same way as them. I had to tell my husband "Why don't you ever buy me cards!" and he's like "because who cares about cards they just take up space and get thrown out" and I'm just exploding thinking NO THEY DON'T and told him, I LIKE CARDS!! so he's decided to buy me cards from now on.

Mechelle - posted on 05/09/2011

I had the same problem. My kids are 2 and 4 months. I take care of them by myself every single day. Being a SAHM, I didn't want a gift. All I wanted was for him to get out of bed when the kids woke so I could sleep in and I wanted breakfast in bed. My kids always wake up at 7. He didn't get out of bed until 11:30. At that point I was making lunch for his mom who was coming to celebrate Mother's day. I had to clean the house and do everything I always do. I cried all morning and felt so unappreciated. I know that he works all the time and barely gets a day off, but neither do I. I felt that maybe I was being unreasonable also. But the purpose of Mother's Day is to appreciate the mom's and make them feel special.

We didn't work out a solution, it turned into an argument. I was extra upset because he went with his friend to help pick out a mother's day gift for his mom. I didn't even get a card, or even a "Thank you for all that you do".

Megan - posted on 05/09/2011

aww i have to drop hints myself with have 5 kids there is no celebration! huggs to you!!!!

Erin - posted on 05/09/2011

Some men litterally need to be told what to do lol. I'm not joking around here. My husbands family never made a big deal out of birthdays, christmas, vday, mother's or father's day, nothing. So I made sure he knew what I expected. But I also took it upon myself to make those days a big deal. And now he really enjoys them! I told my husband that a bread maker would be an awesome gift from my kids so that I'd have more time to spend with them. And guess what I got this year? They need to be told and given direction. Ever since the one year he got a really nice drill for father's day from my "son" (he was only 1 lol) he's made a big effort on those special commercial holidays that I really enjoy.

Jessica - posted on 05/09/2011

I think you should tell him how you feel about it and ask him to make more of an effort.

I look at all holidays as if I expect nothing I will never be disappointed. So that's what I do. And some years it's awesome and I'm surprised by it and some years it's just another day and I'm fine with it.

Jennifer - posted on 05/09/2011

That was exactly my thought. I'm the only one who grills, because according to him it is my job to cook, but I was happy with the one given to us. He is the one that has been all about getting a grill. Just to please him, I went and looked at them, but he kept telling me we had to get the one he wanted.

Jamie - posted on 05/09/2011

@Jennifer. How is a new grill a present for you? Maybe you like to grill but to me it sounds like a "man" present.

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 05/09/2011

so sorry jen :(

Jennifer - posted on 05/09/2011

Mine too! It started with a teething/sick baby all night long. She and our other 3 kids were up and ready to go at 6am. So, I decided we would go to church after all. I had told him the night before, that I wasn't sure we would go since the baby was sounding a little croupy and my tonsils were once again swollen (waiting on an appt with an ENT to get them removed). I got all the kids bathed, dressed, and fed for church, and was getting ready to take my own shower when he comes stumbling out of the bedroom and throws a fit about us going to church, because HE is too tired. After church we always go out to eat lunch with his mom (I'm very close to her, and love spending time with her), but he decides no, we're going to rush, grab lunch, take it home, so he can spend the day in the garage doing whatever he wants while I take care of all 4 kids by myself. His mom was so dissappointed, but he didn't care to notice. After we got home, I was so pissed, because of him blowing his mom off, and for him deciding to just ditch us again like he did just about all week. He finally asked why I was so mad and I told him all of that. I knew he had to mow the lawn, but I had also needed to run to the store, and figued we could do those at the same time and once they were done, we could put our kids' trampoline that they got fot Christmas together or go fishing, or anything as a family. He then huffs and puffs and complains, and finally figures we would do the trampoline, and he would invite his mom over for supper since I was so upset about him blowing her off. That meant I had to cook. So, I didn't get to help with the trampoline or play with the kids. I had to stand in the kitchen and cook a good meal while he complained and acted like an butt the rest of the day, and didn't even finish the trampoline! Oh, and he was already mad the day before, because he wanted a new grill and had decided that it would be my mother's day present. I told him I didn't want it, because our neighbors decided to give us a really nice extra grill they had, but it just needs a new burner which will cost us maybe $25-$30, and I didn't see the need to spend $150 on something a) I didn't really want and b) we couldn't really afford. At least my kids gave me hugs and kisses and told me happy mother's day. I just wish I could have spent more time with them happy instead of mad.

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 05/09/2011

@Jamie - I'm so sorry for you. I wish guys just got it more :(

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 05/09/2011

Holy crap hun. I would discuss this with your husband and tell him Look, if we aren't going to do birthdays (do NOT do his if he isn't doing yours) tell him you want at least ONE day a year that is totally special - make it mothers and fathers day, so you can get the kids involved like you want too! Tell him from now on it would be great if there was a kiss in the morning, a happy mothers day whispered in your ear and a hug AT LEAST followed by a card later on and if this is the only holiday you are going to celebrate, ask him to give you a semi-decent gift that wasn't a last minute thought....... I know it's hard and guys aren't what we all watch on TV but he needs to respect you enough to do something 1 time a year for you. So try talking to him about whatever 1 day you want to be special, and go from there. Say you are just asking for one day................. :) you deserve it afterall

Yesterday my boyfriend thought mothers day wasn't until a week away. His own mom brought me dinner and a card and I had to try not to cry because her own son forgot...... it is hard. We are so sentamental as women, and most guys just are absolutely not caring in this way you know? So whilst we appreciate them working and working on cars...... sometimes we have to nudge them and say hey, come on. :)

My bf is putting up a hammock for me this week and he said he is still planning on doing whatever he had planned...... I dunno? Hopefully it's good I told him I need him to make it up to me so I won't stay mad. :)

Jamie - posted on 05/09/2011

Pretty much the same thing with me. DD made stuff in school that she gave me on friday. Then on the way to Walmart on saturday DH heard on the radio that mother's day was the next day. So what does he do? Tells me to get something I want. Then I wake up at 5:30 mother's day morning because he's hogging the bed. So I go do my hair color (what I got myself for mother's day) when I'm done with that I go lay down in the living room and right when I start dozing off DD wakes up so I never get back to sleep. Then around 9 when DH wakes up he asks me to make him some breakfast. At that point I knew all hopes for something special for mother's day was out the window. It's the same way for my birthday and V-Day.

I should be used to this stuff because it happens every year but I always hope that he'll have actually thought about the day and have planned something. Even if it's just getting up and making me breakfast or washing dishes and laundry for me. It's not about some big fancy gift just acknowledge what I do. At least let me take a nap when you forced me out of bed.

Marylea - posted on 05/09/2011

Aww sorry to hear your mother's day sucked :( Its no fun to feel unappreciated. My partner bought me roses yesterday and even though it was very sweet of him I made my own dinner last night, did all the dishes and cleaned the kitchen while he napped after work. I was a bit unimpressed. But we talked about it and he apologized so even though I had hurt feelings and shed some tears it was all okay after we talked about it. You should definitely talk to your partner and tell him how you feel. Do you do things for him on father's day? If so ask him how he'd feel if you didn't do anything for him. Maybe that will help him understand. Hope you have a better mother's day next year.

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Mileina - posted on 05/09/2011

Don't feel bad sometimes our partners doesn't know what these things mean to us. We take mothers day and birthdays very seriously. You should talk to him and express your feelings to him. Mayb when you talk to him he would look at things at a different angle. Better yet show him what you like and how u like to be treated. I say if your partner doest acknowledge you, do things to make u happy..life is too short.