Ungrateful step children . Help!!!

Kylie - posted on 08/12/2017 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have three kids if my own. And my partner three. I have six in total. When I first met my partner his kids had nothing. They had no manners, dirty house and a junkie drunk mother in and out of there lives. All in upper primary school and couldn't read and wrute. Last four years have been intense and sometimes unbearable for me. My partner's kids hardly say thanks especially the eldest. I will buy them things and they will be argueing with me. Then they persistently ask for more and more. Yet if it was there dad or any one set they will be super thank full and be like oh no dad that's too much money.... My partner I don't feel like listens. I feel he doesn't chest ise the kids. Actually he never does. I do all the parenting. He does nothing . Ok Not time is if we have to go away or watching a movie or chats now and then to kids shows them funny videos. That's it. How can I change my situation. How can I get them to be appreciative. How can I get them to look at life in a different way. This spoiltness wouldn't be tolerated any where else. I put up with it and keep trying because I love my partner. Or am I over board

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Michelle - posted on 08/12/2017

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You and your husband need to be on the same page. This should have been discussed before you got married and the children should have had it explained to them as well.
I would first have a conversation with your husband and let him know that you both have to have the same rules and consequences and that all the children are treated the same. All the children are expected to use their manners all the time or there will be consequences. If my kids don't use their manners, they then have to wait another 10 mins before asking me again.
I also suggest that family counseling would help, especially if your step children haven't had a stable Mother in their lives. They could be jealous because their Mother doesn't care about them and that could make them resent you and your children.

Samantha - posted on 08/12/2017

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I think you need to have a serious talk with your husband. Tell him how you feel and how your skids make you feel...useda and disrespected, which is unacceptable. Don't buy them anything until they change. If they ask why you won't buy them something, tell them because you never say thank you, you're never appreciative of anything; you seem to just expect things, and you need to learn to respect me as your stepmother and an adult. Once you prove to me that you "get it" then I'll rethink buying things and doing things for you.

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