What do I do when everything is a fight with my 4 year old?

Alison - posted on 10/14/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

45

20

6

I don't know what to do, I'm at the end of my rope here everything is an argument with my 4 year old! When he should eat, what he should eat, t.v., what he wears...everything! I know the saying pick your battles, and beleive me I do, but lately I feel like he is arguing with me just to make my life hell. I could normally deal with this except now he has started to throw terrible tantrums when he doesn't get his way, screaming to the point that neighbors have knocked on the door asking if everything is okay (can we say embarassing!), he's even hitting and kicking now. I need to find a way to stop this because now my 3 year old is picking up on his example. Some one please help me!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

4 Comments

View replies by

Jennifer - posted on 10/14/2009

5

37

0

I will begin by telling you this to me was the worst age I went through and there were days that I thought I would never make it I was angry and frustrated...4 years old was awful. After talking to our family doctor she recommended a book "how to have a new child by friday" I can't remember the author so I am sorry about this. I have to tell you it is an awesome book and change my actions and feelings after reading the first chapter. I could not put this book down and one night I read 4 chapters and within a few days I was done...I have passed it along to other girl friends and I can tell you we have all gotten something out of reading it. I felt that from 3-5 was the most demanding and stressful years in trying to raise my Daughters. I truely hope you get this book and you start to better understand how to cope with him because this book will put everything into perspective for you. Lots of luck I hope to see a post in the future that you are doing better and you also have a new kid by Friday, I know I did!

Mandy - posted on 10/14/2009

574

18

105

what i found worked for us, my son was very demanding and difficult at that age, is give him options.

for example, you want him to get dressed, give him 2 shirts and make it a positive thing, thaty he is a big boy and can choose what shirt he wears.

Giving him jobs to do to feel like a big boy might help too. i have hotos of my son standing on a chair at the kitchen sink "washing" plastic containers for me because "he is a big boy and mummy needs some help".

We never accepted hitting and kicking. if he does something deliberately to hurt someone, time out straight away. 4 minutes once he is willing to sit there. it may take a while to get him to sit there at first, but once he knows you arent going to lose your temper or give in, he will. even if it is dinner time, he has to do his 4minutes in the corner before he can come and eat.



You could also try the elimination diet. it might be something he is eating that normally wouldnt affect people, but some people are sensitive to some foods, even fruit and veg. email me if you would like information on that. i did it for my son and my sister has done it with her kids and it made a BIG difference.



Hang in there, i know it is hard, i spend so much time at doctors and psycologists and councellors trying to figure out why my son had 2hr long tantrums. it does get easier.



my email is mandy_123_14@hotmail.com



all the best

mandy

Mandy - posted on 10/14/2009

574

18

105

what i found worked for us, my son was very demanding and difficult at that age, is give him options.

for example, you want him to get dressed, give him 2 shirts and make it a positive thing, thaty he is a big boy and can choose what shirt he wears.

Giving him jobs to do to feel like a big boy might help too. i have hotos of my son standing on a chair at the kitchen sink "washing" plastic containers for me because "he is a big boy and mummy needs some help".

We never accepted hitting and kicking. if he does something deliberately to hurt someone, time out straight away. 4 minutes once he is willing to sit there. it may take a while to get him to sit there at first, but once he knows you arent going to lose your temper or give in, he will. even if it is dinner time, he has to do his 4minutes in the corner before he can come and eat.



You could also try the elimination diet. it might be something he is eating that normally wouldnt affect people, but some people are sensitive to some foods, even fruit and veg. email me if you would like information on that. i did it for my son and my sister has done it with her kids and it made a BIG difference.



Hang in there, i know it is hard, i spend so much time at doctors and psycologists and councellors trying to figure out why my son had 2hr long tantrums. it does get easier.



my email is mandy_123_14@hotmail.com



all the best

mandy

Mandy - posted on 10/14/2009

574

18

105

what i found worked for us, my son was very demanding and difficult at that age, is give him options.

for example, you want him to get dressed, give him 2 shirts and make it a positive thing, thaty he is a big boy and can choose what shirt he wears.

Giving him jobs to do to feel like a big boy might help too. i have hotos of my son standing on a chair at the kitchen sink "washing" plastic containers for me because "he is a big boy and mummy needs some help".

We never accepted hitting and kicking. if he does something deliberately to hurt someone, time out straight away. 4 minutes once he is willing to sit there. it may take a while to get him to sit there at first, but once he knows you arent going to lose your temper or give in, he will. even if it is dinner time, he has to do his 4minutes in the corner before he can come and eat.



You could also try the elimination diet. it might be something he is eating that normally wouldnt affect people, but some people are sensitive to some foods, even fruit and veg. email me if you would like information on that. i did it for my son and my sister has done it with her kids and it made a BIG difference.



Hang in there, i know it is hard, i spend so much time at doctors and psycologists and councellors trying to figure out why my son had 2hr long tantrums. it does get easier.



my email is mandy_123_14@hotmail.com



all the best

mandy

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms