What do you do all day?

Rebecca - posted on 01/06/2009

Have you ever looking into Montessori education? I try to incorporate those philosophies at home by letting the children do as much as possible. I know your 1-year-old is a little young yet, but it's not too early to start! My 11-month-old LOVES to imitate me and her older siblings. And my 2.5 and 3.5 year-olds love to do housework. They fight over the mop and broom and washing the windows :) Anyway, the idea is to make the child's environment as engaging as you can. If you're interested, there are lots of resources online and lots of short books on doing Montessori in the home.

And don't worry! I think everyone has the same fears :) What's important is that your son is with someone who loves him like no one else in the world all day long! Even on rough days, he still loves being around you! And they learn even without you teaching. What's most important for babies is exploring. As long as you read to him when he lets you and talk to him a lot about his surroundings, he'll learn more than you think!

Oh, and join a moms group! It's a great opportunity to get out and connect with other moms near you and for your boy to be around other kids. It's good for everyone :)

Kathy - posted on 01/06/2009

Hi Lynne,

I have been a stay at home mom for abut 11/2 years.  I worked for 20 years at a hospital.  I have 3 boys, 18, 16, and 13.  I had prayed for 16 years to stay home and the Lord finally said ok.  I quit my job because I only had 6 years left with my boys and I wanted to there for them before they all went off to college. 

Dr. James Dobson has some awesome books about raising children.  I'm not a routine person and I think you have to decide what works best for you.  Play and read with you little one. Don't worry about actually "teaching" because you are doing that just by playing.  Don't feel guilty about staying home.  I did and still do mostly because my boys are grown and there are so many of my friends that still have to work.  But I also know my boys are glad I'm at home.  Pray for God's guidance and you will be a great mom.

Tami - posted on 01/05/2009

Quoting Lynne:

What do you do all day?

I am the mother of a 1 year old. Before having him last year I was a career woman. Once I saw him though there was no question I would not go back if I didn't have to. I have always been someone that excels at work and I feel like I am failing at the toughest job I have ever had. I have never really been able to figure out what my day should consist of, am I teaching enough and doing enough. So my question is what does a typical day in your home look like???

Hi

A typical day for me when my first was born was to tend to him and do the chores. I was fortunate at the time I was invited to join a playgroup through a friend who was running it at the time. I was booked in for a term and signed on thereafter as required.

Mostly I spent my time tending to my baby and getting to know him and watching him grow has been the greatest reward.

I also found that scrapbooking was another way of chershing my child's young years by recording his first's and protecting them.

You are not failing. If you are questioning yourself then you are doing a brilliant job and thus by questioning yourself everything is right in your typical day.

Someone else's typical day doesn't necessarily mean that their child is getting more or less but you just have to assess what is right for you and your child at this time.

I hope I have been of some help.

Tami

Mandy - posted on 01/05/2009

I used to wonder this same thing. After having my second though I don't worry so much. My hubby works very long hours so EVERYTHING in the house, including anything with the kids is up to me. I don't let it bother me if things don't get done as long as the neccessary things are. I start at 6:45 and don't stop until 10 or later sometimes. I usually start coffee first thing, throw a load of laundry in, make breakfast, feed kids, check email, dress toddler, start school, (I homeschool), school until 11:30, get lunch, clean up lunch, do chores usually vaccuum, dust, change sheets, clean bathroom, usually by late afternoon I have 2 or 3 loads of laundry done so I fold and put them away, I also do dishes about 4 times a day since I don't have a dish washer. I try to make sure I play with the kids for awhile before it's times to cook dinner. If I can I try to have me time either computer time or read or one of my hobbies. We have dinner by 6 or 6:30 then it's clean up dishes, get kids in pj's, spend time with them and hubby, kids in bed by 9 and once they are in bed I try to spend time with hubby. As a mom I think we are programmed to have everything just so so and when I finally let that go it helped me a great deal. If my house is messy and people stop by oh well they came to me right. I like to tell my hubby "if you come home and some things aren't done then know that I gave that time to our kids. Someday they won't be here and they can look back and remember the quality time they had with me. When they are grown up and moved out then I can clean more. Part of being a mom to me is making sure your kids get that play time as much as the other time. Don't know if this will help. Take care, Mandy

Tabby - posted on 01/05/2009

Have you tried joining any local mom groups? I would go insane w/out mine!! I was in one at my church for about two years and I've been in my local MOMS Club for about 3 years now. I have made some amazing friends and so have my kids! We have playgroups and activities all year long - most at low to no cost. We also do Mom night outs - you have to have your own time!!! Go to www.momsclub.com and see if there is a club in your area. We actually have two clubs in my town b/c it is so great! Once you meet moms in your area your life will fill up! Good luck :)

Lynne - posted on 01/05/2009

Wow that schedule is amazing!!! It gives me an unbelievable guide to weave my own stuff into so thank you sooo much. I think that is what I have been looking for. I think I just needed to see how exactly other people manage a day. Makes me think our routine might be better than I thought it was. Thanks again.

Emily - posted on 01/05/2009

I have three kids under four... and my baby just turned 1. :) I plan to homeschool for the first few years, so right now we're working on preschool things. When I only had one (well... by the time my oldest was 1, I already had 2)... so when mine were really little, I just counted myself lucky to deal with meals, dishes and laundry... maybe a little extra cleaning.

Now that I'm a bit more experienced, I have several little helpers, and more free time because my kids entertain themselves and each other... our days go like this:

6:00-8:00ish – AM Mommy routine (when I shower & dress, start laundry)
7:00-8:00ish – Morning routine (when the girls dress and we eat breakfast)
8:30-8:45ish – Circle time (our beginning preschool routine)
8:45-9:45ish – Stations (educational play)
9:45-10:30ish – Chore time (where we get most of the housework done.. the girls have their own jobs to do)
10:30-11:30ish – Outdoor/Park/PE time/Field Trip (usually a walk to the park, if it's super cold then we play active games indoors)
11:30-12:00ish – Lunch/Reading Time (my oldest is learning to read, so this is when we work on that)
12:00-2:00ish – Nap time/Science/Activity/Project Time (nap for baby... craft for everyone else)
1:00-2:00ish – Computer time for girls while Christine Naps, Scripture study for mom
2:00-3:00ish – Bin/Free Play (the girls play while I work or play on the computer usually)
3:00ish – Potty/Snack
3:30ish – Momma Love – one on one time with girls (we rotate who's turn it is, but each girl gets some alone time with mom while the others are playing with whatever... usually about 15 minutes)
5:15ish (dinner around 6) – Dinner routine (when we put the toys away, set the table & make dinner)
7:30-8:30ish – Bedtime routine (when the girls go to bed)
9:00-9:30ish – Evening routine (when I finish the last minute things for the day)
9:30-10:30ish – TV/Book with DH & go to bed early (this says early because for a while DH and I were pushing 1am almost every night... not smart when our kids start waking up around 7am).

This sounds like a pretty strict schedule... but it's not. I try to keep our circle time consistent and meals at regular intervals... but the rest is pretty fluid and flexible. Also... the majority of our day is really just free-play for the girls. I have several things scheduled like "craft project" during nap time, or "circle time", etc... but these things usually take 5-10 minutes.. then we're back to free-play.

I hope that doesn't overwhelm you... but that's our "typical day". :) If we need to run errands, that's usually during our "outdoor/field trip" time.

Becky - posted on 01/05/2009

I became a stay at home mom when my daughter was 9 months old. I can't believe we didn't figure out that it would work for us so late in the game. I hated having to leave my baby in daycare and only getting to see her at such short periods of time. We live 40 minutes away from where we worked and never got any good time as a family or even as a couple. Now that I'm home it's been so much better. I decided to try my hand at in home daycare to help keep some of the financial stress off of my husband and it's been working. The main thing that my daughter and I do when we have time together is to play. We use our imaginations all the time. She's two and loves to dress up and have tea parties so we have two every day. She is also a book reader and loves to tell me what's going on in the story. I just let her tell me what she wants to do. She's old enought to know. Some days we will paly with playdoh for our color lessons, we also count the containers for math and numbers. She will carry around her baby doll and sing the songs that I sing to her at night. They are smart kids and will quickly pick up on little things. Here's the best part...you don't always have to play with them. In fact it's better if you don't always play with them. They have to then learn how to entertain themselves and keep busy by them selves. She will sit down and color, or put together wooden puzzles, if one of the babies in my daycare needs attention she will get down on the floor and offer them toys or talk with them just as I would. They can figure it out on their own and then you ahve a bit more time to clean and do some of the things that you want to do. Keep nap time for you time. Don't clean, don't do dishes, don't do anything that you don't want to do. If you are into reading use that time for reading. It's your time and then you don't have to feel so bad leaving them later to do something for you. I hate to leave my daughter after spending all day with her but I remember that she also needs Daddy time so that if something were to ever happen to me, I know that she will be okay with her daddy tucking her in at night, reading to her, giving her a bath, and just being there for her. It's the only thing that makes it easier for me to get away for one Friday night and Saturday each month to scrapbook. It's worked for me with all of the other kids in the house and will hopefully continue to work. Good luck with learning your child's interests!

Tamara - posted on 01/05/2009

I found myself wondering what to do with my days when I had just one baby. Now that I have two (6yrs and 3yrs) I wonder how to fit it all in. At that age you just make learning fun. Why do you think the alphabet comes in a song.

Lynne - posted on 01/05/2009

Thank you all for the great insight. It is so great knowing that I am not alone and getting some ideas of how other people get through the day.

Kelly - where do you find the materials you were talking about. I would love to start working on things like that with Daniel. I am not interested in having a genius child or anything but I think I could feel better about my own day if I had goals and doing worksheets and such sound perfect.

Thanks agian.

Lynne

Dawn - posted on 01/05/2009

i agree with you anna!! i crave some time to myself but then i feel guilty about not spending that time with my kids!! and i felt so bad for my 3 year old when my son was born because he was a fussy baby and i was always paying attention to him. she kind of went through a rebellious phase for awhile...but she's settling in now and loves her brother. and sometimes when he cries and i''m busy she will go and try to comfort him for me...it's sooo sweet.

Anna - posted on 01/05/2009

I feel the same way. I also gave up my career to be a mom and don't get me wrong I love being home with my children, witnessing all their milestones, and being a able to be there for them 24/7...but it can be exhausting. I don't have nearly enough time to do everything I need or want to do. Then I feel really guilty about it not doing more. Sometimes I even feel guilty for not contributing financially anymore either. It is hard giving up your independence that way and handing over the reins to your significant other financially. I actually used to be the bigger earner too, so it was hard to get used to especially at first. Lots of sacrifice and adjusting. I just had my second child and although it is so rewarding, it is a challenge for sure. I find myself trying to squeeze in time for each child (babies obviously require a lot of attention), time for potty training my eldest (which has been a nightmare) and working on getting him prepared for kindergarten this year, time to cook and clean and do laundry, time for my friends and family when they call, time for my husband, time for the pets, time for my budding photography business, etc. By the end of the day I am exhausted, sore, and worn out, and still feel I got not much accomplished. I guess it is just part of being a mother and homemaker. It is the hardest and most selfless job and I ever had, but I love being a mother. I love my children more than anything and it is worth it. It just would be nice to have some more interaction with adults and more time for myself sometimes. ;)

Andrea - posted on 01/05/2009

hello. I am a single mother of one 16 month old. I also take care of my sisters son who is 15 months. I have them on a really good schedual. They both get up at 8 in the morning. Both go down for a nap at 1, and in bed by 8 at night. In between bedtimes i try teaching them how to talk read, yes read my son loves books already. I also take them to where there are baby friendly enviroments like if you were in barrie, ontario lil kidders. The boys had so much fun there. When the boys are napping i get the time to do dishes and what cleaning i could not have done while they were awake. But I do have somedays where one or the other dont want to go with the schedual either teething or just sick. But like I was told every baby goes at there own pace. They learn in different ways. I wish you all the luck and just enjoy every minute you have with your child.

Andrea

Kelly - posted on 01/05/2009

I have worked in many Day Cares before I had my son and decided to stay home with him. I use blank lesson plans, which includes, naps, diapering, meals and Most important -- Art, Math/ Science, reading, Songs and Motor Skills for example
Monday I would do a project for art, count blocks for math, read books for reading Also I find my son loves to " read" to me pointing at pictures and talking about the pictures. Kids love to sing so I always sing whatever I am doing. I pick a letter, number and color to talk about every day. Remember kids learn through play so as long as there is enough play then they will be learning. Another thing I do is keep on top of what the kids are doing in Kindergarten and make it age appropriate. I have lesson plan books that have all of these sort of things in them if you are interested in them, just let me know. Or if anyone else is having this same issue, I am always willing to help.

Kim - posted on 01/05/2009

I wonder the same things! I feel like I'm go go go all day, but at the end of the day.. did I get done what I needed to??? We recently moved to a new state, so I'm trying to get us all settled and into the community and do all I can for our son.. Let me know if you get a good answer! I need one too! :) Kim

Dawn - posted on 01/05/2009

hi lynne...i have 2 kids. i worked right up until a month before i had my 3 year old. i loved staying home at first. my daughter was so easy going and i loved having time to go out and about or just lounge around if i wanted to. but now that i have my son it's getting hard to do anything. he hates the car so running errands is hard and it's very rare for both kids to nap at the same time so laying down is also kind of impossible!! but my typical day is we all get up around 7 or 8 and i get my daughter a cup and some breakfast. then i get my son a bottle and get him settled either in his saucer or on the floor. then i clean the kitchen, do the laundry, pick up in the living room and vacuum quick. then it's usually time for the baby to take a nap...and then my daughter and i play untill he wakes up again. then it's lunch time and nap time for my daughter. then shortly after that i feed my son his lunch and back down for another nap. then i try and make my phone calls and check my emails etc...(this usually doesn't always happen so smoothly but you get the idea.) i miss having a job somedays but then i think about how much i would miss my babies more if they were in daycare and being raised by someone else. i would miss their first words and steps. so don't worry, i'm sure you're doing fine. i know somedays i just don't want to play and my daughter is fine with it all though i feel bad.