What do you do when your 7 year old doesn't listen to anyone

Amanda - posted on 03/10/2011 ( 15 moms have responded )

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When My 7 year old son is asked to do something or not to do something, he never does it..his teacher says he has a little issue with it in school too. What do I do to try to correct this issue. We have tried time outs, spankings, taking away fun things or events, talking to him, and nothing works.

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Nita - posted on 03/15/2011

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along with jane, we tried that too. we got a large tupperware container to put it in the fridge and loaded it with fruits so whenever she was hungry she could snack from that, whenever she wanted to.
we actually had to stop watching supernanny because my daughter would then copy the children's bad behavior! i get down on her lever as well, make her repeat, used charts of all shapes and sizes, nothing worked. and it is tough. we can still put in place the consequences but because she really doesn't understand cause and effect in that sense, it makes it difficult on everyone.
best of luck to you! let us know how you make out!

Sandra - posted on 03/11/2011

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Go to your local library and get a DVD called 123 Magic. It is awesome!!! It gives you advice on how to manage difficult behaviour in kids. I've tried a few tricks I learned from a DVD, and it worked!!! For instance, I asked my son to help me clean up the dinner table. I told him that if does what he's told, he'll be rewarded with 2 extra minutes of playing Wii or watching TV. On the other hand, if he doesn't clean up the table, he will lose 2 minutes from his 15 minutes of TV watching, and also $2 out of his piggy bank. Needless to say, the table got cleaned up in a split of a second!!!

Jane - posted on 03/11/2011

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One thing we tried on the food issue was that I set up a cupboard easily reached by the kids that contained foods they could have at any time. That way they didn't need to go through the fridge or other cupboards for things. I tried to find snacks that had nutritional value so that it wouldn't matter if they ate from the snack cupboard instead of at the dinner table.

Kelli - posted on 03/11/2011

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amanda my daughter is six almost seven and everything your explaining she does the exact same my daughter has had issues in school too she is mean to the kids at school we had to to get the guidance counseler to help her learn what is the right way to make friends and it helped some i recently gounded her from her friends for a week because she was not listening that seems to make her think about it now im starting to make a routine for her like let her help fold clothes and put them away i told her that she wore them and needs to take responsilibilty for her actions at school when she is not listening they make her stay inside she loves the idea of being a helper i would ask him if he would like to help with things

Loren - posted on 03/11/2011

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Hey Amanda,
I can appreciate what you must be going through as I had that issue with each of my children. I find that it's a phase they go through every now and again as they try to push the limits every now and again as they grow and mature.
I agree with one of the moms about the rewards chart AND SUPER NANNY she's awesome and saved my sanity on more then one occasion lol!!!!! One of the episodes I saw was where the parents were having an incredibly hard time with all 3 of their children and Super nanny devised a solution that worked fabulously. She developed a chart with the top 5 things that the parents wanted to work on, for example: waking up on time, getting dressed by themselves, brushing their teeth and washing their face, ready to leave the house by 8:00am (to be on time for school), cleaning their room, doing their homework, etc.
Then she placed it on the wall at the foot of the stairs (in this case the stairs faced the front door) so that the kids could move their pieces to the chart.

If you like this idea and need some examples of how to make one that is both functional and fun, inbox me and I can give you the directions and list of materials you will need. I used to make them for my kids and now make them for everyone else in my family lol.

Danielle - posted on 03/11/2011

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My son is like that sometimes. Just the other night we had a problem with him. I told hm it was time to quit playing and do his homework which invloves going to his room and writing his spelling words five times a peice. I knew I was going to have a problem as soon as I said it b/c of the look on his face. He went in his room and an hour later I was confused as to why he had not made an appearance yet. He had went in there and went to sleep. (@ 6pm) So I woke him up and told him to come in there with me to finish..we were still fighting with him at 9pm to do it. He absolutely refused. So I sent him to bed, grounded him from tv and going outside and the next day made him write his spelling words ten times instead of 5. We're moving so we're looking at homes daily and instead of being able to participate he had to stay in the truck and do spelling words. Needless to say I havent' had a problem since.

Amanda - posted on 03/11/2011

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Thank you all so much for the advice. The rewards chart sounds like a good idea. He is going to be joining the advanced t-ball at his school for a sport. So that should help divert some of the issues and also give him something to put all his energy into! I am very excited to see him in a sport! But I really do appreciate all the advice. I will def. be trying the rewards charts and continue with the time outs. Thank you all!

Deepti - posted on 03/10/2011

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a seven year old is quite sensible to understand logic. try to find out what he wants to become when he growsup..like his father or something like a doc or a pilot or artist... once he tells u then encourage him to work towards that.. and also tell him what qualities or things he require to fulfill his desire... like time management in which he can have both fun and work, good diet and some classes which may make him stronger or sharper like drawing or sports classes... u need to divert his mind in diff direction so that he focuses on real issues related to his life!! visit this site for more help:
http://perspectiveofdeepti.blogspot.com/

Livia - posted on 03/10/2011

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yes reward chart my boy was a tera but i whatch super nanny also her disapline was great but every time there is always the good at the end it worked for my son at 2 onwards and now he is 12 pocket money for reward is bliss he also is old enough to understand time management ....

Katherine - posted on 03/10/2011

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Why don't you try a rewards chart? Have you maybe thought about that? That way it's only positive reinforcement instead of negative all of the time. I can imagine how your daughter may feel not doing anything right most of the time. With a chart, you either get a sticker or you don't, and you don't say a word if she doesn't. It might work ;)

Michelle - posted on 03/10/2011

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With my daughter I have to be face to face and have to get her to repeat back to me most of the time what she is to do. If she forgets what is was going to do I ask her if she is on task and what that task was again.

Amanda - posted on 03/10/2011

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Thank you Nita that does help a bit.. I use a timer when I put him on timeout I tried that because I like watching super nanny she gives me good ideas. But he can be so bullheaded at times. And not only does he have a hard time listening, but he also will steal food from the fridge, cupboard, freezer, pretty much where ever food is kept. And me and his dad even his grandpa have tried explaining to him why that's wrong and that there is consiquences for his actions...but still he does it. How do you solve that issue? I mean I know people have said in other discussions to lock the cupboards and fridge and stuff...but we live in an apartment, and to me that just tells him that he can run the house at 7yrs old. That might be a wrong way of looking at it, but I want him to be able to understand now that it's wrong so it doesn't turn into an ongoing thing.

Amanda - posted on 03/10/2011

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Thank you Nita that does help a bit.. I use a timer when I put him on timeout I tried that because I like watching super nanny she gives me good ideas. But he can be so bullheaded at times. And not only does he have a hard time listening, but he also will steal food from the fridge, cupboard, freezer, pretty much where ever food is kept. And me and his dad even his grandpa have tried explaining to him why that's wrong and that there is consiquences for his actions...but still he does it. How do you solve that issue? I mean I know people have said in other discussions to lock the cupboards and fridge and stuff...but we live in an apartment, and to me that just tells him that he can run the house at 7yrs old. That might be a wrong way of looking at it, but I want him to be able to understand now that it's wrong so it doesn't turn into an ongoing thing.

Nita - posted on 03/10/2011

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hi amanda!
i go through the same thing with my 7 year old. she refuses to move most days. getting ready for school is the worst. unfortunately, you kind of need to be creative in thinking of a way to make it their idea. i know with kylee if it's something she doesn't want to do, she won't budge. but if she thinks of it, it then becomes of interest to her, and once these kids get hold of an idea, watch out! lol
have you tried the timer? i don't mean a countdown kind, but like a stopwatch? with kylee she ilkes to show me how fast she can go. it has been a big turnaround compared to the countdown timer. altho, most days, it's still a "pick your battles" kind of day....*sigh*
i hope that helps a little!

Nita - posted on 03/10/2011

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hi amanda!
i go through the same thing with my 7 year old. she refuses to move most days. getting ready for school is the worst. unfortunately, you kind of need to be creative in thinking of a way to make it their idea. i know with kylee if it's something she doesn't want to do, she won't budge. but if she thinks of it, it then becomes of interest to her, and once these kids get hold of an idea, watch out! lol
have you tried the timer? i don't mean a countdown kind, but like a stopwatch? with kylee she ilkes to show me how fast she can go. it has been a big turnaround compared to the countdown timer. altho, most days, it's still a "pick your battles" kind of day....*sigh*
i hope that helps a little!

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