What do you tell peope who scoff at SAHM's?

Mattie - posted on 05/04/2010 ( 107 moms have responded )

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I have been staying home since I was about five months pregnant, my daughter will be 2 in June. Some people are very supportive and others, well I think we have all encountered them. My husband loves that I stay home because our daughter is getting care that she never could in daycare, plus he knows that things are getting done around here that I never had time to do when I worked. For the most part, it's other moms that always have something to say. You are being lazy, you watch tv all day, you aren't socializing enough, your child will be behind in social skills/sharing/speaking. But, when I tell them no, I do plenty around the house and that my kid is tested regularily by a liscensed child development specialist who says socializing doesn't take off til 2 and play dates are suffucient, or that she is actually more advanced than her peers, they kind of roll their eyes like I am making it up! I can't stress enough to people that I don't care if moms work, I am not against daycare, but wow, do people love to give me their unwarranted 2 cents! I know I am doing a great job with our kiddo, does anyone else feel like they can't catch a break with some people?!?! Sorry! Needed to vent! Blah!

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Medic - posted on 05/04/2010

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I would tell them to kiss my fat a** and since I don't do anything all day there is no rush unless it will interfere with THEIR work schedule......

Heidi - posted on 05/04/2010

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their jobs must be boring because i love staying at home with my daughter and cooking and doing crafty things...

Lisa - posted on 05/04/2010

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You say
Well, there you go!
and you leave it at that............................

Iliana - posted on 05/04/2010

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I recently got into it with a another mother simply because I offered an opinion/advice based on own experience. It off the beaten path from others she had spoken with since they are all working parents. They were trying to fix her tantrum throwing 7 yr old by offering superficial fixes. This mother is going to school/working feeling bad because her daughter flips out every time she leaves the house. I suggested she look at it objectively and that maybe she might want to sit with her and let her have a voice when she's being calm. Make time and have a heart to heart. I figured that she is really just missing Mom and that this might not be the best time for her to go to school. I had tried that last year and my kids pulled a complete 180 not mention all the stress it caused my husband trying to pick up the slack while I was going to school full time.

Long story short this mother's response was to lash back at me. She asked, "Are you saying all women should stop thinking about themselves and only think of their children? How long do I need to keep thinking about them? Til they're 20? " I was shocked! My belief is... we choose to have children but one day we(mothers) choose to start thinking about themselves and expect kids to "deal" with it. I don't think its fair to the children we choose to have. I know my kids are the better for it. I know my kids love having me at home. Things our home run better and everyone is happier. But, this mother thinks I'm giving in and spoiling them, letting them have what they want by staying at home. not finding a job simply because they don't want me to. I don't ever feel like I have to defend what I do by lashing out at those who work. I think that mother's who work defend and justify their situation because they feel guilty. If you feel guilty about working then maybe you shouldn't but stop lashing out at those of us who choose to put our children first. I know some have to work. My mother did. But I don't have to and being a SAHM is a tough job and extremely rewarding.

Julie - posted on 05/04/2010

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I simply say that this is by far the hardest but most rewarding job I've ever had. Shame on other moms who judge....we all love our kids and want the best for them....why not just support each other?? Usually hurtful comments come from jealousy or lack of understanding.

Lisbeth - posted on 05/04/2010

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I am lucky and have never encountered this but I would for one tell them that it has been proven that a stay at home mom works the equivalent of two full time jobs and if they were to get paid it would amount to 117,000 a year. I would also tell them that although I am not getting paid in money I do Have the highest paid job b/c the pay is pure love and what could be better. And if they don't believe you tell them to try it themselves and see how they handle it. lol

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The other day a woman said to me "Wow, I wish I could just sit around at home all day."
I replied, "I am sorry you are not as fortunate as I am, it takes a lot of planning, and I'm sure one day you will get it together enough to stay at home with Tyler too."

I must mention that this is NOT a mother who needs to work--they are a family of 3, no pets, living in a 5400sqft home, with 4 cars, a butler, a live in Nanny, housekeep and weekly cook.
It doesn't bother me at all when mom's who actually have to work tell me they envy my position, I'm sure they do, what good mom doesn't want to be home with her little one. I don't mind when mom's who don't need to work tell me they are happier working (as long as they accept that I am happier at home) but if a mother could easily stay home with her kid and tells me that she "wishes she could stay home" like I do, that bugs me...

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