What do you wear all day?

[deleted account] ( 174 moms have responded )

My husband doesn't like the fact that I wear lounge clothes all day (like sweats, comfy pants, t-shirts). He would love it if he came home and I was in a cute dress with my hair all done. I just don't see the point in getting dressed up to stay at home. I have a 7 month old and everyday I clean and/or do laundry, dishes, cooking, baking, workouts etc. Am I the only one who doesn't feel the need to look like a beauty queen everyday?

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Megan - posted on 01/30/2010

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i think it is important to look nice, not only for your spouse but also for yourself! just because u have kids doesn't mean u can turn into a frump 24/7. your husband married a cute chic girl not a pj wearing zombie. thats like asking him to look elsewhere. now i like my sweats like the next person but if that is all he sees you in, you can't be surprised if he isn't too happy. yes, he should love you for you, but again he probably wouldn't have been attracted to you in the first place if that was all you wore. plus it will probably make u feel better if you take a few minutes for yourself - maybe you will feel like going out! a down pj day is fine on occasion but if it becomes a habit....it can too easily be followed by other bad habits....my thoughts.

Dawn - posted on 12/27/2009

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My husband used to feel the same way. I looked haggered from being so busy with little kids. So I started buying outfits that were comfortable but cute. Cute sweat outfits with tank tops underneath and a few belts, some cute t-shirts and jeans. Made all the difference. I just looked neat and put together. More cute hip mom than frump mom. He made comments right away. He worked in an office all day wear women are dressed to the nines. And he would come home and it would look like I put my finger in the light socket :). Target and kohls have a lot of low priced cute everyday outfits. Good luck.

Martha - posted on 12/23/2009

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I have found that if I get dressed and look presentable I feel better!!! I am more motivated to do stuff and don't feel quight so home bound!

I have been struggling with feeling locked in at my house. It seems like I do the same stuff EVERY day - dishes, laundry, cleaning and baby stuff. I make a point to leave the house everyday, even if it's only for a little while. This way I feel part of life, rather than a home body.

I don't dress up or anything like that, but i do put jeans on and feel presentable!

Elisabeth - posted on 01/30/2010

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Quoting Hope:



Just remember the fact that we send our spouses/mates out into a workforce of anything goes/risque mannerisms that you don't want him involved in. He is probably around beautiful, single, women who are trying to catch everyday so imagine that and remember that temptation starts in the eyes. I'm speaking from experience. I remember going to his job one day and felt like I wanted to disappear amid the many attractive and single women all around him 5 days a week- 40 hours a week. It's not going to hurt, to put on a little eyeliner and gloss with something casual more than 2x per week.



Yea Hope I have to agree with you, it can be a very tempting world out there for men even if they remain faithful to you they still look at anything attractive, which I don't mind him having a perve but I still like to be the most attractive women to him, which means staying in shape, dressing nice and having nice hair and make-up. After all your hubby works all day to earn money and support you and your children the least you can do is look nice, keep the house clean and cook good food. Don't get me wrong there's many a day when I'm run off my feet looking after my 2 year old and 3 month old, but I still need to have my husband relaxed and happy when he gets home. As his wife it's my job to keep him completly satisfied. I love him and want to show my appreciation of his hard work by doing anything he asks of me. I get up before him at 4am just to make his lunch, cook breakfast for him and make myself look good for him before he wakes up because he deserves it. And I hate to be rude but it's pretty lazy to stay in pj's all day, it only takes half an hour to shower, dress and do your makeup and hair. It's just like your husband saying he's going to go to work in his pjs. I might be very old fashioned but I agree with what the 50's way of things!

Jenn - posted on 01/28/2010

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99% of the time I get dressed up, do my hair, and put on make-up. It makes me feel so much better about myself - even though I can't even leave the house (I live in the country with no vehicle), and it certainly helps our love life. All that old school advice that you always hear - like it's the little things that matter - is so true and instead of just saying it, I do it! All the things I did in the beginning to impress him, I continue to do, and sometimes I have to remind him, but he does it too. It's what keeps us going strong and after having twins, plus my now 4-year old, our love life is still unbelievable!!

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Shannintipton - posted on 08/23/2011

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This post is a little old so I am going to lock. But thank you for your post. :)

Chelsea - posted on 08/21/2011

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Your definitely not alone. I am a mom of four and I usually just stay in pj's all day. Why should you add the extra amount of time to your schedule to get all dolled up for him when he is only going to see you a couple hrs after work and before bed. Now here and there isnt bad, but everyday no way. Less I have somewhere to go, or I just want to get a lil extra attention I dont worry about it.

Thandiwe - posted on 01/31/2010

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You are more than allowed to wear anything comfortable. You are hardworking and ur husband is unfair to expect you to be a super woman, mom and still look like a beauty queen.

Andrea - posted on 01/30/2010

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im with you on this... i have an 8 month old and with how much food he throws at me comfy clothes are just easier to change in and out of and the only person who sees me is my son and he doesnt care what i wear he just loves that im there when he needs me...and i mean ill wear jeans and tees sometimes but i dont see why i need to wear really nice colthes and have my hair done all nice cuz that just takes away time from my son and other things that need to get done in the house...i mean im not a frump its just i dont see the point to dress up everyday

Heather - posted on 01/30/2010

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you dress for the job you do. my husband wears his oldest clothes to his construction site cuz he knows he is going to get dirty. same goes for us moms.. when youre getting your hair pulled, you tie it up.. when youre getting spit up on, you wear slightly older shirts... however, I have to agree with several other moms here and say that I do have more energy when I dont wear my oldest clothes, and maybe wear a dab of makeup.. i feel better about myself and more capable...i often have the opposite problem with my husband , he prefers me without makeup whereas i often feel better with it.. lol but my hubby doesnt care what i wear anyways... whos gonna wear a dress around kids all day?! pffffft!!! Find your compromise, thats the best I can say... jeans,and non-ratty t'shirts work best here!!

Heather - posted on 01/30/2010

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you dress for the job you do. my husband wears his oldest clothes to his construction site cuz he knows he is going to get dirty. same goes for us moms.. when youre getting your hair pulled, you tie it up.. when youre getting spit up on, you wear slightly older shirts... however, I have to agree with several other moms here and say that I do have more energy when I dont wear my oldest clothes, and maybe wear a dab of makeup.. i feel better about myself and more capable...i often have the opposite problem with my husband , he prefers me without makeup whereas i often feel better with it.. lol but my hubby doesnt care what i wear anyways... whos gonna wear a dress around kids all day?! pffffft!!! Find your compromise, thats the best I can say... jeans,and non-ratty t'shirts work best here!!

[deleted account]

I've never really understood this logic. I can't imagine wearing sweats or pajamas all day long. I would feel so lazy if I did that! I like to wear dresses, or jeans with various types of tops, or skirt (short or long) and some type of top. There is NOTHING difficult about throwing on some decent clothes in the morning. In fact, a dress is easier than sweats because there's only one piece to it! I love heels, too. I wear them a lot. My hair, I don't do it up where it takes forever, but I at least blow it out straight. My makeup is simple, but I'm always amazed what a bit of colored lipgloss and a touch of eye makeup can really do for my appearance.

I feel 10000 times better when I look nice, and I love that my husband thanks me for not letting myself get sloppy and lazy looking. His EX-wife stayed in pajamas all day long. That's not what he divorced her over, but it certainly didn't help the situation, as he found it absolutely disgusting.

Of course, there's a time and a place for everything. When I was extremely pregnant, and past my due date with our son, and was absolutely enormous, and all that fit me was my yoga pants and his shirts, he was ok with that. He knew I'd be back to my girly self in no time, and I was! It's fine to have an off day, or period of time if there's ample reason for that, but I think doing it every day would be abusing the privilege. I wouldn't like to dress like that every day at all anyhow!!

Becky - posted on 01/30/2010

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LOL!!!! Tell your husband that you would GLADLY trade places with him - and after a month, let's see how HE'S dressed when you come home. I can guarantee you he won't have a suit and tie on!

[deleted account]

Make it a habit to get up, shower, and get dressed everyday. I do not wash my hair everyday but I at least wash off the body funk. I basically wear jeans and cute fitted shirts (fun design on them.. not t's!, something like this: http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Browse/WomenBro...) or chino's and tee's (my absolute FAV chino's: http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Browse/WomenBro...) They are SO comfy, but stylish too!



One way to dress up a plain top is to add long necklaces (kiddo's love'm, but they are super stylish) or great bracelets.



I always were fun tops ir plain with accessories regardless of the day. My typical outfit calls for a fitted t, jeans or chinos, accessories, cute sweater or hoodie and flip flips (granted I live on a tropical island so it never gets cold, but if it did I would have boots or funky tennis shoes)



The styles that are out right now are cute, fun and super comfy... I have a 9 mo old and have been doing this since day 1. On the days I am actually scrubbing the house I do wear sweats and t's.. BUT I asked my hubby to pick out ones he thought were cute.. it was a compromise, I get to wear comfy clothes and he thinks those comfy clothes are cute.. win win!



It sounds like this is his way of saying he is ready for the sexy thing he married to come back. What is the harm in doing this every now and then? It will make you feel like the sexy vixen you were before you had a baby and make your husband happy too!

[deleted account]

My husband loves me to bits and when I mentioned this post he said the best thing i could be wearing when he comes home is nothing at all lol. Dont honestly think my three sons would be amused though if i picked them up from school like that lmao.

[deleted account]

maybe just get some tighter fitting sweats or flirty colored pjs...or jeans with a scruffy shirt and a hoodie...i feel as though jeans make all the diffrence in the world.

Bethany - posted on 01/29/2010

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I have found I like nicely fitting ling shorts, or capri pants, and I like polo shirts, so I have a few of each and that's my uniform. Then I don't need to think what shall I wear. If I was going to work each day, like I used to, I had to wear something decent and put a bit on blush on, so it's no different now.



I'm pretty lucky to have a little girl who is happy to play on the floor while I have a shower and get dressed. We're a great little team. I like catching a dressed and neat image in the mirrors as I get about. I'm also modelling behaviour I will expect from Charlotte when she's older.



I have a tinted, sunscreen, moisturiser all-in-one, and a bit of blush and mascara, takes about a minute, and it take just as long for me to put on capri's and a polo as it would to put on a crappy tshirt and shorts, so I figure, if it's comfortable, go for the classier look, respect yourself. Your kids will respect you more if you respect your self. As for my husband, if I leave him with Charlotte, he never gets out of his boxers, he can't multitask at all.

Theresa - posted on 01/29/2010

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you are definately not alone. there are days i get dressed and by dressed i mean out of my pjs into lounge clothes and i'm like what's the point, i'm not even leaving my house. to be honest, sometimes i feel like why do i even bother showering. my life is the same as yours all i do is clean, laundry, dishes - etc, with that being said...i'm a mother of 2. almost 3 and almost 2 - my girls are 12 months apart so leaving the house sometimes - well all the time isn't easy. i started to get into a funk and really didn't want to even get out of my pjs or even off the couch, i find that i'm a happier person if i look a little nicer, even if its only to do housework. and by nicer i just mean a pair of jeans, a shirt that isn't baggy or a sweatshirt and doing by hair instead of a ponytail all the time. I feel better about myself, which makes me nicer to my hubby and it makes him feel better too.

you don't need to look like a beauty queen but you don't your husband to have wondering eyes either so put some lip gloss on right before he comes home and let down your hair. (so to speak)

As far as date night - again mother of 2 toddlers - i don't have anyone to babysit so leaving the house date night is out of the question - so what we do, is either friday or sat night, i feed the kids first, put the kids to bed, order in, and have date night that way. we are also a big fan of netflix so it becomes a movie night too. good luck and if as long as you feel good about yourself - stay in lounge clothes.

[deleted account]

I agree with you totally! If your not going out of the house who cares what clothing U wear around the house. I wear my sweats or jammie bottoms allday unless Im going somewhere or someone is coming over. And having kids wears you out so much you don't even wanna mess with hair thing lol.

Sandra - posted on 01/28/2010

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Haha! I am a SAHM. I have a 3yo and a 2yo, plus I keep 2-3 children in my home 5 days a week. Whatever is clean is what I wear and my hair often goes unfixed---twisted up with a clip. As far as I can tell, my husband does not mind this at all. We are very involved in church, so I am fixed up at least twice a week and always try to look decent when going shopping each week. At this age I don't think my children care what I look like.lol When they are older and less time consuming perhaps I will do better. I do admit that I never thought I'd see the day that I looked as frumpy as I do most days. I joke that leaving the world of work did nothing for my personal appearance!

[deleted account]

I have been walking at night when my daughter is down for the night and I take a shower at night. but when I wake up I feel like such a bum if I don't get dressed usually a pair of jeans and some kind of shirt. no makeup I stay home who would see it.

Cindy - posted on 01/28/2010

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OMG I totally do the same thing!! Lol! I thought I was the only one who is a stay at home Mom that does that too. I lounge around in comfy pants and t-shirts too. I feel the exact same way you do......why get all dressed up if I''m just going to be staying at home lol! :) ♥

Rachel - posted on 01/28/2010

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Being a stay at home mom, getting "dressed up" and by "dressed up" I mean jeans and a tank-top or t-shirt, I put my hair in a pony-tail or up in a clip, and put on a little make-up...it makes me feel good, energetic. I don't do it for him. He tells me that i'm beautiful every-day makeup or not. I like doing it for me. :)

Rachel - posted on 01/28/2010

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Being a stay at home mom, getting "dressed up" and by "dressed up" I mean jeans and a tank-top or t-shirt, I put my hair in a pony-tail or up in a clip, and put on a little make-up...it makes me feel good, energetic. I don't do it for him. He tells me that i'm beautiful every-day makeup or not. I like doing it for me. :)

Sarah-Anne - posted on 01/28/2010

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i live in lounge clothes. my daughter lives in jammies. i only get dressed if we are going somewhere when my husband gets home. and why would i want to ruin real clothes with puke, poop, drool or thrown food.

Suzie - posted on 01/28/2010

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I agree with you 100% i wear comfy clothes beacuse i am chasing after 4 kids! and doin house work cleaning and all that jazz. i try to at some point in the day put on a nice shirt and and a pair of jeans but with all that i do i dont want to ruin my good clothes while scrubbing the floor. tell hubby you will put on a cute dress when you guys get a babysitter and he takes you out for a date!

Amanda - posted on 01/28/2010

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I usually stay in my pj's all day long... I don't see the point with changing into presentable clothes, unless someone is coming over or if I have to leave the house... My husband always tells me I look better without makeup on and my hair done perfectly so I guess I don't really mind lounging around in whatever clothes I want... However, looking at everyone elses' posts maybe I will try to get dressed once a week just for him!

Kathi - posted on 01/28/2010

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I just have to warn you that wearing any loose and comfy clothes you have to be careful. Your body can get let go under those clothes over time and let's not forget our self esteem. You see I'm raising 4 children, the youngest 2 are teenagers now and it is a lot of work to clean the house and the upkeep when they're younger and there is a pull on the need to be comfortable. But every once awhile get dressed up for you. Even if it's a Friday Date at home with your husband or you want to feel good and get a compliment at the grocery store. Taking care of yourself (hair, nails, clothes, etc.) is a cure all for our self esteem. This also breaks up the routine and makes you feel like a sexy vibrant, strong woman. Yes, theres time for the kids but remember to take time for you!!

Bianca - posted on 01/05/2010

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Haha.. i look the same most days but before my partner comes home, sometimes i straighten my hair or put a little make up on - not every day but every few days =) not only does he look at me differently but my daughter does too! she loves it and it makes me feel good

Rebecca - posted on 01/05/2010

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your not the only one i spent the whole day in pj's i wasnt doing anything beside paper work so i didnt see the point and i dont see the point if i'm running around after my little girl all day i want clothes that i dnt mind getting dirty or coved in paint glue and food

Rachel - posted on 01/05/2010

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Girl you are deffinately not alone on that one. I really don't see the point in getting dressed when I am going to be doing house work and taking care of a baby all day. My mother-in-law thinks that I should get dressed and stuff when I wake up in the morning. All i can say is she better be thankful that when she decideds to show up that I am even wearing clothes...LOL! I want to be comfortable and not have to worry so much if I get something on my clothes when I am cleaning the house, cooking, or doing laundry. Not including the stuff my daughter might spill or spit on me.

Lori - posted on 01/05/2010

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I am glad to hear I am not the only one that does this. I have a 5 1/2 month old and she is still nursing - so it is easier for me to dress comfy and just throw my hair in a ponytail to cater to her needs. I do feel better about myself and my apperarance when I put on makeup and dress nicer which is normally when I have to leave the house.

Laural - posted on 01/01/2010

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Go to the Gap Body Store. They have very comfy, yet stylish clothes. It will make both of you happy, and then he has no reason for complaint when the credit card bill comes. :0)

Brianna - posted on 01/01/2010

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haha no most of the time I stay in my PJs or just T-shirts and sweats, BUT about 10 or 15 min before my hubby gets home I go in the bedroom throw on something kinda nice and touch up some light make up. It's not like he requires it, in fact he tells me he likes it when I'm "all natural" lol but just think like before you were married when you first started dating you try to look nice all the time you are with that person, it kinda keeps the spark in the relationship. Just because you are comfy with someone doesn't mean you should give up trying to make them chase you. Guys like to chase women, so keep him chasing you ;-) but it also doesn't mean you have to be a beauty queen all day everyday, besides your man should think you are a beauty queen even when you are in your PJs lol :-D

Callinda - posted on 01/01/2010

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I know a lot of people here obviously disagree, but I think it is still important to make an effort in the way you look most days (everyone has bad days though!)



I always try to shower and do my hair & make up in the morning before the kids get up at 6.30am, that way I actually feel more motivated to get things done every day as I am up and about, ready to go!! I generally wear jeans and a casual top, and maybe a long top with leggings, nothing really dressy, but something I would be happy going down to the shops in but is still comfortable enough to clean & play with the kids in!



Before my husband gets home I always try to do a quick whip around to tidy up any mess in the house, but dont change my clothes as I already look ok.



Maybe you could try making once a week (eg Fridays) a set day that you dress up a bit for him and you could have a nice night together that night!

Brittney - posted on 12/31/2009

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we are beauty queens everyday! we r raising a generation here and when our kids look back on childhood they are not going to remember what u had on the day they started walking the day u made homemade playdoe or kissed her boo boo only that u did it that said maybe once a week some jeans and a sweater by the time he gets home would keep the relationship going...

Nicole - posted on 12/31/2009

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Quoting Sara:



Quoting Hope:

Just remember the fact that we send our spouses/mates out into a workforce of anything goes/risque mannerisms that you don't want him involved in. He is probably around beautiful, single, women who are trying to catch everyday so imagine that and remember that temptation starts in the eyes. I'm speaking from experience. I remember going to his job one day and felt like I wanted to disappear amid the many attractive and single women all around him 5 days a week- 40 hours a week. It's not going to hurt, to put on a little eyeliner and gloss with something casual more than 2x per week.






LOL!  My husband works at a small company and I know everyone he works with.  I'm not worried about him cheating on me.






Your husband is not going to have an affair just because you like to wear lounge clothes at home....face it, lots and lots of men look for sex outside of their marriage but I seriously doubt it has much to do with how the wives dress at home!  Also, I think it is unfair for him to expect you to get all "dolled-up" June Cleaver style in the evenings just because he has arrived on the scene! By the end of the day, all I want to do is put on my pajamas and feel comfortable!  Sounds like a pretty superficial thing for a husband to be worried about - maybe he should be more concerned with whether you and your  children are happy, healthy and feeling loved and valued as unique human beings at the end of the day than what you wear to care for his children and scrub his house....when is the last time he did any of those things? was he wearing fancy clothes at the time?

Erica - posted on 12/31/2009

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Ha, I have been sick, but if I don't feel like gettin' dressed, I don't. Sometimes it's just cuz my house is cold and my pj pants are warmer than jeans. I do sometimes. He likes me to put makeup on too, but I'm not that into makeup, esp since I have a 9month old and a house to clean.

MaryBeth - posted on 12/31/2009

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What would your husband wear if he were you? Would you be dressed like that if you where going out for dinner with him? You don't need to dress like a beauty queen every day but if you put on a pair of jeans and a sweater or shirt once in a while you will feel good about it I promise.

[deleted account]

i have a bath every morning and get dressed in the morning!! do u people not go out wiv ur kids ??
even if i no im gona b in all day i get dressed!! and my daughter is always dressed,

i cant think of anything more disgusting than staying in ur pjs all day!!
i put a tiny bit of makeup on takes 2mins!! and my is always up wit a nice hairband.

Tina - posted on 12/31/2009

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I am a mother of six, it is nothing wrong with having time to pamper you.See it's not just about getting dressed for our husband but,for our self.When you put your child down for a nap take that time to take a bubble bath and lay out something nice to wear,and it don't have to be a dress or fully dressed.Something comfortable but makes you look sexy.

Janet - posted on 12/30/2009

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I have been a stay home mom of four very active boys for the past 24 years. I have homeschooled for the past 6 years. Getting dressed up for my husband when he comes home has not always been at the top of my list. If he calls me and ask me out for a date; girl don't even think twice. I am dressed and ready. But for a day to stay at home I was dressed comfy. Here for the past year and a half I have not really wanted to get out of my pjs. He is not asking me to get dressed for him. He is asking me to get dressed for me. I feel better, think better, and act better. Communication is what you need to make sure that you have when he comes home not a nice looking dress.

Krystal - posted on 12/30/2009

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I wear trackies and singlets and slippers all the time hehe. If it wasnt so damn hot here at the moment thats what id be in, Yesterday i was in bras and undies coz it as 40degrees lol. Needless to say i didnt get any complaints lol x

Kayla - posted on 12/30/2009

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ive been wearing lounge clothes latly but i wear like velor track suits with a low cut top so im comfy and tha mans happy :) you can be comfy and sexy at tha same time, when tha babys are napping throw a lil make up on, ive never been a dress or skirt girl so i just wear cute tops and jeans my fiance likes it, hope this helps!!!

Donnette - posted on 12/30/2009

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I don't dress up per se but sometimes I do want to have my husband say "OH MY! YES!!"

I've been a jeans and sneaker girl all my life. Makeup and hair are not my forte`either.

So occasionally, I put a little extra care into my style for that day. Thankfully my husband loves jeans and low cut tops. You don't have to put on the nines for your honey. Just put a little effort into an afternoon do over for him. You are still his girl.

The laundry can wait until tomorrow,( the baby won't notice ), Just take a moment for you. Trust me - as the wife, mom, bus driver, chief cook and bottle washer and all the other titles that we have, giving yourself the time to be a woman is time well spent.

I know now that I'll never be a soap opera diva and be immaculate at all times. But I can be the lover my husband remembers and wants. And with a little time and effort, I can give him that for the chance to be home with our kids. A friend of mine, her mom would dress for her husband on Fridays. Hair, makeup, short skirt, heels. My friend thought she was crazy to do that for him. But they've been married for 50 yrs.. Try something

that you feel comfy in but says to him " Here I am!!" You got a lifetime ahead for sweats and lounge pants. trust me on that. Good luck!

Jen - posted on 12/30/2009

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You aren't alone, I myself have a 4 yeard old and an 18 month old, both boys! I cook, clean, and change bums all day! During the summer i'm in the garden or flower beds, and i see no reason to get dressed up to do such things!! I tell my hubby that if he wants me to get dressed up and do my hair, he needs to take me somewhere so i feel i have gotten presentable for a reason!! lol even if it's a walk or preferably a date!

Like many of the other moms on here i also make sure to get done up nice every now and again, but this isn't a cartoon where the home makers do their jobs in heels!!

Samantha - posted on 12/30/2009

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think of it this way, you have to look after your baby's mum thats fine have a work out i do it in my back yard shore , but then when my baby is tacking a nap or playing i will have a quick shower , it makes me wake up and feel a lot better and happier to look after my boy how is 3 months old.all your husband is saying you look frumpy just tack a little more effort my be just start by putting some markup on

Myrtis - posted on 12/30/2009

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I hear your pain. I just pick a day to make myself up for him. Like Fridays, he comes home, I look cute, we have three kids, you get the point. :) I think he just wants to be reminded of who he married. Don't do it everyday, nobody has that much energy, but once in a while I think even you would benefit from looking your best, for yourself.

Morgan - posted on 12/30/2009

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Definitely not alone!!!! I wear sweats and a tank top about every day, I'm doing laundry and breastfeed and it's just easier when she throws up or I get messy to deal with! I'm lucky though, my husband says I'm so beautiful in what I wear. And then he really loves it when I throw on tight jeans and heels for him!

Sara - posted on 12/30/2009

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I do the same thing. We have a 6 month old son and for the most part I just stay in sweats and what not. But every so often I dress up for my fiance. He doesn't mind me in sweats but he does appreciate when I make the effort to look nice for him.

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