what is the funniest thing your kids have said?

Dawn - posted on 04/12/2010 ( 299 moms have responded )

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here is a simple and fun conversation . what is the funniest or most clever thing your child/ren have said?

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Karen - posted on 04/17/2010

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Another one my little one came out with was when he first met his little brother in the hospital. He just kept staring at the baby, when i aked him if he liked his new baby brother he replied "yeah but hes a bit silly hes got sugar all over his nose" it was milk spots lol

Karen - posted on 04/17/2010

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My little boy, who was only 2 at the time, asked me why his little man stuck up in the mornings, i said it was normal and it happend to all boys he waited a moment or two then said "is it because it sees the sunshine mummy" i couldnt stop laughing. it amazing how their little minds work lol

Sandy - posted on 04/17/2010

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When my son, who's name is Jack was about 2, he asked me what I was doing, I replied Jumping Jacks. A little while later he was jumping up and down, and I asked him what he was doing, he said "Jumping Momma's"!!!!!!!

Lyn - posted on 04/17/2010

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this is a memorable one!! When my daughter was 3, we would always stop at the local coffee shop for a munchkin for her and a hot tea for me after her dance class. As I was 7 months pregnant, I enjoyed the final months we had together before she got a sibling. This one day, as we were being waited on by this very overweight cashier, my daughter said, in a very loud voice "Mommy, she's FAT!", and I was so embarassed, I said, "I'm fat too honey! See the baby in my belly makes my belly fat!" trying to dissuade her from continuing her observation. Well the clerk heard her, and responded " No, she's right, I am fat", and I felt horrible. We left the store and I told my daughter not to say that anymore because it could hurt someone's feelings. She agreed and we went on our way. Well, the following week, we visited the same coffee shop and the same clerk waited on us, and my heart sank! I was praying my daughter would remember how I told her not to say the clerk was fat. So we ordered our regular tea and munchkin and left, and as we just about to leave the store, my daughter announced, in a rather LOUD voice "SEE MOMMY, I DIDN'T SAY SHE WAS FAT THIS TIME!" lol

Lyn - posted on 04/17/2010

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this is a memorable one!! When my daughter was 3, we would always stop at the local coffee shop for a munchkin for her and a hot tea for me after her dance class. As I was 7 months pregnant, I enjoyed the final months we had together before she got a sibling. This one day, as we were being waited on by this very overweight cashier, my daughter said, in a very loud voice "Mommy, she's FAT!", and I was so embarassed, I said, "I'm fat too honey! See the baby in my belly makes my belly fat!" trying to dissuade her from continuing her observation. Well the clerk heard her, and responded " No, she's right, I am fat", and I felt horrible. We left the store and I told my daughter not to say that anymore because it could hurt someone's feelings. She agreed and we went on our way. Well, the following week, we visited the same coffee shop and the same clerk waited on us, and my heart sank! I was praying my daughter would remember how I told her not to say the clerk was fat. So we ordered our regular tea and munchkin and left, and as we just about to leave the store, my daughter announced, in a rather LOUD voice "SEE MOMMY, I DIDN'T SAY SHE WAS FAT THIS TIME!" lol

Tracy - posted on 04/17/2010

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My son had been playing t-ball and he said he needed a new bat. I had just bought one from Dick's. He told me we bought the wrong one. He needed a bat that went "ding" when he hit the ball. He just needed a "DINGBAT".

Keri - posted on 04/17/2010

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Since I already 2 girls right now, and we are not ready for a 3rd, I wear a birth control patch. Well my daughter asked me what it was for-she thought it just a sticker-so I told her it was so mommy wouldn't have any more babies right now because we wanted to wait until her sister got older. Well, the next day, she tells me, "mom, you need to take that patch off. We need to have 3 babies and you need to have another baby so my sister can have a little baby to play with."

Meg - posted on 04/17/2010

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my little 6 yr old cousin used to tell everybody i was pregnant with a robot..and to this day my son is still a robot..he is almost three months old

Tana - posted on 04/16/2010

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I have always taught my kids not to litter and we take bags with us on walks and to park to pick up a bag's worth at least to help keep God's world clean.

My third child who was four at the time saw someone in a very busy public place litter and she yelled "DON'T TRASH GOD'S WORLD"

Tana - posted on 04/16/2010

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My oldest when she was 7yrs old and I was pregnant was curious about where baby came out. Upon telling her she said "uuhhh uhhh...I'm not having kids...I'll adopt!"

Amanda - posted on 04/16/2010

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My boyfriend taught my 3 year old daughter how to say "trebuchet" it's a medieval engine of war with a sling for hurling missiles....

Sarah - posted on 04/16/2010

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im like everyone else there are soo many funny stories to tell that its hard to pick so here are just two that my wonderful kids come up with and they might only be funny to me but every time i think about them i laugh



The other day my almost 2yr old was playing outside with her brother and cousins when she got tired so she went to lay her head down on my husband lap well about that time he passes gas and she says "uh daddy you poot on me" with her mad eyes but what makes it better is that she stomps off in to the house and grabs my hand and leads me outside to tell on her daddy that just poot on her..oh and then after that she would tell everyone that she seen(for the next few weeks) what her daddy did to her..lol



Any time my 3yr old gets in trouble he will immediately (before we get a chance to say anything) he will say "but mom i dont feel good my belly hurts" or if he dont get to say that in time he will say "but mom i'm just a baby"..... its hard to keep a straight face sometimes when im trying to discipline him.

Erin - posted on 04/16/2010

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There are almost too many stories to tell...I have 4 very funny kids, but my daughters are just hilarious...my oldest girl, when she was 3, was at my great aunts visitation. Her grandma had her and I guess she saw my aunt in her coffin... she was serious as a heart attack, looked at her grandma and said...She's dead, I think someone killed her...no one told me til after the visitation was over and I was just horrified..I would have ran out the door had I known!

Then my youngest was telling me, what I thought was a story, about Mickey mouse, and as usual, I was humoring her and was listening wide eyed and interested...When after she kept on for a while, all of the sudden she said come see...so I thought, okay... I will see what she is gonna show me, she opens up the bathroom cabinet and there is a mouse in the mouse trap dead...It was hilarious...There are soooo many wonderful stories that its hard to stop at only 2 of the funniest!

JUNE - posted on 04/16/2010

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MY SON CHRIS TOLD ME HE DIDN'T GET A DONUT.I SAID HOW COME YOU HAVE CREAM ALL OVER YOUR FACE.HE SAID THEY MADE ME EAT IT.

Lauren - posted on 04/16/2010

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My 3 year old "Mom, I'm a superhero and you can be one too. All you have to do is buy a cape. I think you can get one at Wal-Mart."



I'm so blessed. I thank God for my kids everyday :)

Katie - posted on 04/16/2010

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My 3 year old told me the other day "yumm mommy! you cook the best water ever!" lol I guess I made it special!

Alicia - posted on 04/16/2010

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My 3 yr old daughter telling me "Oops my crack is out!" After sitting on the floor to help me fold clothes! lol

Alicia - posted on 04/16/2010

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Riding in the car, listening to the radio, my daughter Kennedy says (3yrs)
"Ooo Mommy, it's Lady GaGa, turn it up so I can dance!" I said "Oh really, you like Lady GaGa??" She says "Yeah only a little bit though..she's dresses funny." Then she starts dancing to the entire song as best as she can in her carseat! ROFL

Christine - posted on 04/16/2010

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we where sitting around the dinner table eating dinner 1nite eating a baked dinner; when my ( at the time) 12yrold started coughing & (up pipes my 4yrold) at the time & says 2 her sister " it's ok Yasmyne cos u cant die if u have gravy in ur mouth" ( well i almopst choked with my gravy & baked dinner in my mouth i laughed so hard.............

Christiana - posted on 04/16/2010

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so when my 6 year old was about 4 and a half his dad asked him one night while we were laying in bed talking about the baby on the way, (now my 2 year old) if when he grew up he want a wife and kids too. he said "i want kids but not a wife they talk back." it is still the funniest thing he has ever said. got to love kids

Samantha - posted on 04/16/2010

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My 3 year old was throwing a fit one day and driving me absolutely crazy. In the midst of her screaming, and me trying to remain calm, I said "Holy Macaroni Gracie!" and her response was:



"No Mommy, I am not a macaroni hole! I am Grace Annaline Lesser!!"

Shakira - posted on 04/16/2010

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My older son (Tremahn) had his Meningitis shot two years ago and he was wondering why they called it that, I told him I don't know so he asked if I ever got my shot so... I said "yes I believed I did", he says" ladies shots are called"... "womengitis shots"... I about died of laughter... Funny:)

Donna - posted on 04/16/2010

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my son harri when asked what he wants to do when he grows up he said a superhero after i explained he couldnt he said " I know i can do it on my days off but shh dont tell anyone its a secret!!"

Lauren - posted on 04/16/2010

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We were sitting at a restaurant with a large group of friends from church, when my 3 year old son decided to say grace. We all bowed our heads and then this followed

" Dear God, thanks for the pizza, pepperoni is my favorite, thanks for all my friends, my mom and dad, mamaw and papaw, my little sister Chloe, and God please bring us a new baby and make it a boy this time. Amen"



Everyone laughed and then asked us if we were wanting another baby so soon, since our daughter was only 5 months. My husband and I both replied "NO" but obviously our son thinks otherwise.

Lauren - posted on 04/16/2010

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I asked my 3 year old son if he need to potty. He replied "no", but by the dance he was doing I could tell that he had to go. So I asked him if he was lyin. Then without missing a beat he ROARED as loud as he possible could. With a very confused look on my face, I asked him what did that have to do with going to the bathroom. He said "mom, you asked me if I was a Lion, and i was being one"



WIth this kind of entertainment who needs a tv. LOL

Caroline - posted on 04/16/2010

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lol at some of these!



My 4 year old was poorly the other week with the noro-virus. It was the first time he had had the runs and found it fascinating! He was on the toilet and shouted to me 'hey Mummy I've got Poo Juice!!!!' Not a nice subject but it made me laugh! Its now a standing joke in our house!!!!



Only the other day I asked him whhy he never does as he's told. His reply was 'Because Im just not made that way!!!!' I was trying so hard not to laugh!



He comes out with a new one every day, goodness knows what he'll be coming out with when he's older!!!!

Jessi - posted on 04/16/2010

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LOL

love this conversation!

both of my girls do hilarious stuff daily but this is the one that readily jumps to mind:

her dad didnt lock the door when he went in to pee so my older daughter walked right in while he was still doing his business... she looks him over and says "GOOD TAIL daddy!!"

Rhonda - posted on 04/16/2010

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Ok I had time to think about this I have 3 Children and my Youngest is now 12 but when she was 4 She was peeking through the key hole in the bathroom door. Her dad was in there going pee. And I heard her Scream Mommy daddy's got a Dog Chewiing And how is he peeing through it?
When same daughter was 9 My 21 Year old had her son and she brought him home and the what came out of her mouth this time Was When are they going to cut that off.I guess I must not have explained very wellhow men and women were made and I never gave it a thought that she didnot get it. Until that day. She now understand

Jennifer - posted on 04/16/2010

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We play a game naming collages and what you go there for the specelties of the school. So when my oldest was 3 we were in line at a store and infront of us is a teen with her mother. The girl was doing silly things to make my little girl laugh when her mom asked her what collage she wanted to go to, My little one pipes up "you should go to Gullyard its the best clown school in the world!"

Rindy - posted on 04/16/2010

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A few months ago my daughter, who just turned 3 on the 10th of this month, had a cold. we took her to the doctor to make sure it wasn't anything more serious. he said just give her some OTC cold medicine. After we got home she told me her ears and neck (throat) hurt and she needed to go back to the doctor. to which i replied 'well, the doctor told you that you just need to take some cold medicine" without skipping a beat she replies "well, thats gonna be really cold!" I never did get her to take any medicine for it. :p

Last night we went to Culver's for dinner and I ordered a salad. It had all the normal salad things in it and my daughter loves the croutons. She started trying to dig in my salad and i asked her what she wanted, loud as can be in the middle of the restaurant she said "I just want one of those tampons." !!!!!!!

Kristin - posted on 04/16/2010

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There is too many to name just one, with my oldest son nathan everyday brings a new funny moment....Especially since he is the serious type. He can tell you some things with the straightest face....

Lindsay - posted on 04/16/2010

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I was putting my, then, almost 3 year old down for a nap on a Sunday afternoon and he asked me, "Where's Daddy?" I told him that Daddy was downstairs feeding the baby. My son thought about it for a minute and then said, "Oh, with his man boobs?"

Rhonda - posted on 04/16/2010

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My Son was 5 He total a report that ask What do you want for Christmas? " I want a Million Dollars, and could Santa bring my little sister a Doll?

Mavis - posted on 04/16/2010

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My youngest son Brenton says im getting crangry instead of cranky or angry.lol

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i used to be frriends with this B IG african american man and he would call me loud white girl and id call him big black man.... (it was our little inside joke and it was completely innocent) well, i guess my son mustve overheard us joking around like that, and one day when we were walking through the store he saw james and screamed "mama theres that big black man!" lmao i dont know who was more embarrased, me or james... hahahahha

Jamie - posted on 04/16/2010

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I've been a childrens' phototographer for many years. I was doing birthday portraits for a 4 yr. old when I asked him what he wanted for his special day. Apparently, his daddy calls some motorcycles on the road "crotch-rockets". The boy's answer to my question, "a rocket for my crotch".

Christine - posted on 04/16/2010

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ok so i was in the supermarket and i really needed a fart lol so i did and to my horror my 3yr old yelled at the top of his voice ewww mum just did pooes i thought i was going to die.i turned around and there were people cracking up hard out at me and my son just kept on yelling mum did pooes mum did pooes haha so funny now i think about it.

Gina - posted on 04/15/2010

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ok,so everytime i read a story here it reminds me of something else Phoenix has said...when i was pregnant with my 2nd girl (now 5 mo) phoenix and i were watching tv and a one of those commercials came on asking "does belly fat make you look like this?" and she turns to me sober faced and says are you sure you have a baby in there or are you just fat like them on tv?
I wasn't sure if i should laugh of be a little offended.but it's funny now

Cynthia - posted on 04/15/2010

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My son, who was 2 at the time, was learning how to ride his new bike. He was concentrating so hard at learning how to pedal forward instead of backward and stopping. He scratched his head and said ' Mommy my hair hurts!' Another time, my parents were visiting, and my son was talking like a baby ( he was 4 at the time). My father told him to speak English . My son replies 'Uno, dos, tres, ect..

Meagan - posted on 04/15/2010

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While I was first potty training my 2 year old son.. he came to me and told my that he pooped.. I said 'good job' and then my son told me...' don't eat it mommy.. ewwy'!

Gina - posted on 04/15/2010

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We were @ my parents' house one day for a visit when my daughter who's 5 ,had to use the bathroom. when she came out she looked sorta confused and ran to my dad in the back yard. She is yelling "PaPa! I went poop!" He ofcourse giggles and says yay 4 u...in a sarcastic tone. Phoenix then continues her story saying "but when i wiped ,nothing was there,and i looked in the water and nothing was there! i felt it come out but i can't find it!! she says "i think i just had a "ghost poop"
Everyone lost it right then and there!LMAO

Gina - posted on 04/15/2010

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not too long ago my 5 yr old daughter got into my husband's lap and whispered in his her" Daddy, I know what grown-up word youlike to say when you're playing video games" he asked her to tell him and she whispered even quieter...."you like to say SHIT,but don't tell mommy that I said that or she will kick my butt!"

he almost fell out of his chair laughing!

Katie Pearl - posted on 04/15/2010

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well so far its just a glass shattering eeeeeeeek and some motor boat sounds... but I look forward to future blurts... lol... xoxo

Dina - posted on 04/15/2010

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When my son was 3 or 4 years old he would tell anybody he could to be careful of dragon bees. And only he could slay the dreaded dragon bees.

Sherry - posted on 04/15/2010

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When my daughter Zaneta (now 21) was about 4 or 5, her and I went to the grocery store. I believe we were in the isle with dog food and at the other end of the isle, there was a midget, or should I say, "little person". I am not paying no attention with who else is in the isle with us UNTIL...my daughter says LOUD, "Mommy look at that man, I am almost taller than him" while she is laughing. As I look down the isle, to see what she is talking about, he is looking at us (of course he heard, she probably said it loud enough for the next isle to hear too), I was SOOOOOOOOOOOO embarrassed. All I could say is, "Zaneta, that is not very nice!" Her little face went from smiles and laughs, to 'what did I do'? I don't think I have ever been more embarrassed in my whole life.LOL I will never forget that day. And she said it so innocently, not trying to be mean. She just thought it was funny cause she was almost taller than the man. It was funny, AFTER THE FACT though. hahahahahahahahaha

Shana - posted on 04/15/2010

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we had just gotten a video camera for xmas and were checking out the features when my husband turned on the night vision and showed my 3 year old and she said wow!!!! and then said i wanna be pink!!!!! i wanna be pink!!!!

Shana - posted on 04/15/2010

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my then 4 year old daughter asked why those chinese men were in that restaurant? and i said because they want to eat then she said but it is a pizza place....

Lynn - posted on 04/15/2010

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my four year old came to me one night and says mom can you buy spinnach I say sure but why do you want it? He says because it is healthy for you're colon!! I just about peed my pants from his responce still laugh everytime i think about it.

Kiffany - posted on 04/15/2010

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my kids are around a lot of pregnant people and my friend was rubbing her belly ( not showing yet) and she sighed and my 4 year old said to her "pregnant again huh?" too funny.

Sherry - posted on 04/15/2010

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I think this is an awesome subject. Kids say the most, aweful, but funniest things. Let's see...I remember when my 2 youngest boys were like 4 and 2. My husband and I had got onto the youngest one for spitting his gum on the carpet, earlier that day. We also had 2 Shih Tzu dogs (male and female) at the time. Well, David (4 at the time) comes running in our bedroom, "Mommy, Mommy! Daddy, Mommy come in the livingroom, look at what Deovany (2 at the time) did! He was chewing bubble gum again and he spit it on the carpet and now the dogs are stuck together!" We go flying in the livingroom, cause he is screaming like if something bad just happened and I guess, with that tone of voice coming from your child, you tend to get selective hearing, so all I heard was "Deovany" and when we get to the livingroom, the 2 dogs are stuck alright, but not with bubble-gum, they are just gettin busy, doing natures best way of making babies, Doggie-Style LOL It was so funny though, cause David actually thought the dogs were stuck, cause of the bubble-gum.

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