what is the funniest thing your kids have said?

Chantall - posted on 04/13/2010

I have a brother that is 22 yrs. younger then me.
When he was about 3 he declared to my husband and me after watching us change my newly born daughter that "girls don't pee! They can only poop because they only have a butt" :D

Mandy - posted on 04/13/2010

When my oldest was about 2 we were in Wal-mart and was checking out, he had picked his nose & I didn't know that he held it up to the cashier and said "Look I got a Winner"

Jenelle - posted on 04/13/2010

It is a tie at this point between the two...

My boys are hysterical! One is on the toilet yelling "mom I can't make myself poop!" So I yell back "Push Harder!" You here him pushing..then big brother walks in shaking his head "No Trevyn, you push like this UUuuuuuh!!!!" And then Trevyn yells "I can't do that! I will choke!!" Gotta love little boys.

I love my boy. I was changing Carsynn this morning..side note, I have taught all my children the proper names of their anatomy, and of their opposites. I forgot one..as I was changing Carsynns diaper Teylon looks down and says "mom, where is a Carsynns a..???" And I said "Penis?" "He goes yeah where is it?" So I said "well girls are different."instantly he says "Oh, Boys have a penis and girls have a forest?!"

Sarra - posted on 04/13/2010

well my baby doesnt talk yet, but i remeber when my youngest sister was little she was playing outside and my mom and I were in the kitchen when she come running in with the horrifed look on her face screaming "mommy mommy there are assholes in the backyard" my mom and I took of running to see what she was talking about and didnt see anything. she pointed at the ground and said "look assholes, i told " she was talking about the giant ant hill in the backyard..lol so funny

Gale - posted on 04/13/2010

My son was 3 and he wanted to go outside to play, I told him it was to cold out, he said "I will put on my jacket and gloves, I said its still way to cold outside he said "mommy" I said "what sweetie, he said "you have to turn up the thermostat and make it warmer so I can go outside and play. Thought that was soo funny. He has said may funny things, but drawing a blank right now.

Susan - posted on 04/13/2010

I have a 2 year old and I am pregnant with our next baby. I asked her what she thought the baby would look like. She said, "Hummmmm..... A triangle". I hope she isn't too disappointed.

Mynique - posted on 04/13/2010

well my daughter is only 9 months and not yet old enough to do or say anything embarrassing however, I do have a funny story about when I was a little girl. I was 4 at the time of my cousin's birth, and when my aunt was pregnant, they told me the stretch marks on her belly were leprechaun tracks. Well she was about 8 months along and she took me to the store with her to buy a few things. The lady at the counter asked if there was a baby in my mom's belly (even though it was my aunt), and I replied no she doesn't. She asked me when what was in her belly and I told her she had a watermelon growing in there and that it had leprechaun tracks all over it, and I pulled her dress up over her belly to show the lady the "tracks"

Kelly - posted on 04/13/2010

I am loving this thread! It is so much more fun than when people are arguing! Anyway my four year old daughter is very shy but loves to sing in the car or at home. She just makes up songs all the time. Yesterday I overheard her singing to herself in the car, "I don't yike brocoyi, it makes you gas bomb, and I don't yike to gas bomb, so I don't eat brocoyi". I may never look at a piece of broccoli with a straight face again!

Jessica - posted on 04/13/2010

My son can be very affectionate. Sometimes he says. "I love you. You are my mom"! I love it when he says that.

Tara - posted on 04/13/2010

Oh this makes me laugh! The funniest thing I can remember my son...one time his father was telling him no because he did something bad and my son looked at him and said, "you ass!" haha! I know it's completely inappropriate and it's not funny, but at the same time it's very funny! But from that point on everyone is very careful about what they say infront of him.

Stormy - posted on 04/13/2010

My son who was 2 at the time had a problem with the word feather he would always say "f*cker" it was so funny. He would watch this veggie tales video and there would be a feather and he would point at the tv and say "Look Mommy a F*cker" "Look at the F*cker fall down" We have since told him the right way to say it. Also he now has this thing where he likes to but his bum against you and say "I'm going to fart on you" something he probably got from his father LOL

Emilie - posted on 04/13/2010

When my son was 3 we sent him to the beach with his grandparents, my ex husband (at the time husband) had a week alone. We called to check on our son and his grandmother had informed us that he had gotten out of the "lazy river" they didn't know what he was getting out for. He had apparently looked around for a bathroom, when he couldn't find one he squatted in the nearest potted plant and went poop infront of everybody. I guess that is better than going in his pants in the pool though.

Lori - posted on 04/13/2010

There's several that come to mind with my boys. Especially when they were little. But one particular that comes to mind was when my youngest son was about two years old. My parent's came to visit for a wedding and no one was 100% sure where anything was in the area. My two year old son was sitting in the backseat in his car seat and the adults were somewhat bickering about where the McDonald's was located because no one was 100% sure. Anyhow, all of a sudden we hear this itty bitty little voice that said, "McDonald's~THAT WAY!" He'd seen the big golden arches on the red sign with an arrow pointing to the left and identified that there was a McDonald's to the the left. He was even pointing in the right direction!! It's still to this day one of our favorite family stories. But coming from a child who wasn't even two and a half yet it was cute and pretty smart. Might I add smarter than the adults who'd been bickering about it. *LOL*

Crystal - posted on 04/13/2010

My little boy is going to be 2 May 1, but he's had a little bit of a vocab for a while. Not much, but enough to get his point across, when he wants to that is.

When his daddy installed the shelves in the bathroom, he was in his room watching from the other side of the babygate. Evidently, daddy was made a lot, lol. Took him to the store, and what does he do? When daddy dropped a bag of apples into the cart, our son took that as his cue and yelled very loudly "S&!^" and then kept doing it everytime something went in the cart!

The worst one is this: He likes to help do the laundry and he was helping me fold it. Well, the UPS man came by to drop off some stuff. Ethan pushed up into the doorway by me and said Hi to the UPS man. The man said hi back and Ethan said, "Here. Yours." and took back off towards the kitchen. Now, I knew he only said that when he was giving someone something...imagine my surprise when the UPS man handed me back my bra!

Tiffany - posted on 04/13/2010

My nephew, he was 4 or 5 at the time, told his mom (my sister), "well, Mom, it looks like your skinny days are over!".

Carolee - posted on 04/13/2010

Another gem from my son... he's got an eye for the girls. He especially likes waitresses. My husband, son, and I were at a Chinese restaraunt having dinner, and Corbin (my son) took a liking to one of the waitresses. He was SO into her that he would whip around in his seat to keep watching her whenever she walked by... without noticing that he kept putting his entire arm into his rice. Well, one time, she walked by without even looking at him (attending to the other customers), and he shouted across the entire room "LOVE YOU" at her! He's not shy...

Melani - posted on 04/13/2010

Goodness...kids always seem to say the wildest things, lol. My oldest (when she was 2in a half) started with her mispronunciation of armadillo...wouldn't have been to bad if she wasn't yelling the fact she saw an army (ya know). I about fell over with embarrassment, lol

Cassie - posted on 04/13/2010

I have four kids so you can imagin all the cute and funny things said in my house but I will tell you the most recent. Yesterday I dropped a thing of eggs on the floor and yes 10 of them cracked and we had a huge mess. As i was cleaning it up my three year old came and sat on the floor and said in her very sweet low informative voice," mommy, grandma cracks eggs in a bowl, not on the floor" then she calmly got up and walked away and when called to the table to eat she refused and when I asked her why she said," cuz your trin to posion me with floor cracked eggs" lol


I wanted to say I love this conversation it has made my morning!

Kendra - posted on 04/13/2010

lol my son is full of funny things to say but his usual daily thing when his daddy n him play fight he will tell him "Get on my level" lol and so he will get on his knees and tackle him its so cute to watch an adult argue with a lil 3 year old lol

Dawn - posted on 04/13/2010

my youngest used to have a difficult time with certain words. hospital would be pronounced "hothspitle" or apple would be "ahole" and the classic one ship of course would be pronounced "sh@! " "Oh mommy, look at dat sh@! " "it's big" was once a comment my youngest made when we were looking at tugboats and ships

Lynsey - posted on 04/13/2010

When my eldest child was 2 we went to the suppermarket and I asked her to get some juice . Of she went and at the top of her voice screamed "Mummy I got the blackc**t jews" . I quickly grabbed my daughter left the cart and ran out of the store. She meant to say blackcurrant juice. It took another 18 months to get her to say it right

Jess - posted on 04/13/2010

While vacationing at my parents house my 1 1/2 year old, who had just finished his lunch, carefully looked over each shoulder before he shouted NAKED! with a huge smile. My husband and I died laughing because we realized that is what he calls bathtime. Besides that he has also really embarassed me....he wanted this lady's attention in Wal-mart so he grabbed her butt because it was the only thing he could reach! *blush*

Becky - posted on 04/12/2010

When I was in the final stages of my pregnancy last summer, I was going through some major discomfort and my 7 year old told me to "go poop out the baby!"

Amanda - posted on 04/12/2010

Well my daughter isn't old enough yet to talk (she's 8 months) but I am 10 years older than my little sister and when she was about 3 I remember we were at the grocery store and were walking down the feminine hygine isle. She pointed to a package of pads and simply said to her mom (my step-mom) "mommy, I need those"

Jamelle - posted on 04/12/2010

my son when he was 3 was telling his grandma how much he loved to eat graham crappers ... she couldn't hold her laugh very long ! and my daughter 5 calls R2 D2 from Star Wars R2 D2 tooty too ... LOL love it !

Beth - posted on 04/12/2010

My husband and I pastored in a small community for many years and hosted meetings in our home. One particular night we finished up and were moving towards the kitchen when my then 5 year old son pipes in, "Come on hypocrites! Let's eat!" I was MORTIFIED! What can you do but laugh! I wish our guests would've laughed too. Hmm. :0)

Mary - posted on 04/12/2010

The funniest thing my daughter has done was also quite embarrasing. We were in the 7th Day Adventist church here by us in Halifax. It is a rather small congregation and building and everything echos. She had along her baby doll that has boobs on it. Don't you know she decides to yell rather loudly during the service, "It's got boobs!" I tried to put my hand over her mouth but that made her worse she started saying don't cover my mouth. Finally her father came back. I think he'd gone out for a minute to answer his cell phone. When he came back I told him and he took her out right away. There are so many other's I could tell about as well. She's always coming up with something at the wrong time and place.

Shelley - posted on 04/12/2010

Well many I suppose but just yesterday my Mr. 10 informed me that his bestfriends sisters boyfriend gave her crabs for her birthday. But later informed me they were they cutest hermit crabs he had seen. Dh & I laughed & laughed about it because I am sure both our mouths hit the floor.

Emilie - posted on 04/12/2010

Just a few min. ago my daughter told me "You are not supposed to be mad at cuddley babies.....I'm the cuddley baby, you are not supposed to be mad at me."

Emilie - posted on 04/12/2010

My 3 1/2 year old says something funny everyday, so I can't write them all. My brother was recently in a "strong man" compition, My daughter saw pictures of him lifting weights and different things and she said "I want to do that" I said "You can't, you're not strong and you are not a man" she says " I will be a man when I grow up" I said "no you won't you are not a boy" She said "I need a Penis"

Another time my daugter was in the bathroom and I said "Are you pooping?" she said "yes" I said "eewwwww" she said "Pooping isn't nasty, Pooping makes people happy"

Dawn - posted on 04/12/2010

my youngest is just begining to learn about time.she sometimes thinks that today & tomorrow are the same:)

Kel - posted on 04/12/2010

that is adorable, carolee!



Another one about my daughter's system of logic...



When she was little she used to ask me "What are we going to do to-morning?" It took a while to figure out what she meant...We do things today, we do things tomorrow, we might do something tonight...Why on earth WOULDN'T we do something to-morning...Makes sense to me!

Dawn - posted on 04/12/2010

you got to love the way kids say things and the way they think . it is so funny

Carolee - posted on 04/12/2010

I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant with my second child. I'm showing a lot, so we're trying to introduce the idea of a baby being in mommy's belly to my son (2 1/2 years old) so he knows to be careful. Well, he got a bit confused as to EXACTLY where his sister is located inside mommy. The other day, he came up to me and started rubbing my right breast and saying, "hi sis"!

Caitlin - posted on 04/12/2010

My son was about 1 1/2 and one day I kept getting onto him about coloring on his table. He looked at me with the most serious look on his face and said " Momma you stink!" and stuck his tongue out at me. He seemed so proud of himself for having such a clever come back I couldnt help but laugh :-)

Dawn - posted on 04/12/2010

right now my youngest is singing the mcdonald fillet o fish song "give me back that fillet o fish"

Kel - posted on 04/12/2010

I know, right? I have no idea how she came to that conclusion! I love her logic, though. ; )

Dawn - posted on 04/12/2010

omg Kel that is tooo funny

Kel - posted on 04/12/2010

OH! Speaking of boobs...Rylie is obsessed with them, always has been. When she was two she asked every woman she met how big her boobs were (so embarrassing!) One day she asked her Aunt Joyce...Joyce turned it around and asked, "Why do you want to know?" Rylie answered, "The one with the biggest boobies is the BOSS!"

Dawn - posted on 04/12/2010

a short time ago my oldest asked her dad how she was made and he replied "you were made in the garage with power tools"

Dawn - posted on 04/12/2010

i was wearing a kind of short t shirt with capris. the shirt kind of showed my hips and well i have a lot of stretch marks on my hips. my youngest asks me "mom what are those on your hips?" i replied "they're stretch marks honey."don't worry they don't hurt" my oldest adds "yea and you and i sis gave them to her when we were in her belly""we gave mom the ones on her boobs too"

Dawn - posted on 04/12/2010

one time my oldest was sitting next to her dad and well he unintentionally passed gas next to her and she said "mommy, i think daddy had an accident and he needs to change his shorts"

Tabitha - posted on 04/12/2010

I got in a car accident. Colton (3) came in and got a little frightened seeing me on a board strapped to the bed. He got teary eyes and asked the nurse to fix mama's boo-boos. The when she tried to take me for a cat-scan he panicked. She told him I was going to get pictures taken. He insisted he go and said "Cheese" with the biggest smile.

Debbie - posted on 04/12/2010

Oh since you were mentioning birds it reminded me of one. ..... When my daughter was around 4 we went to a lake to feed the ducks. I gave her a piece of bread to break off to give to the ducks. We walked around the lake and she decided she was hungry and ate half the bread herself. She then looked at me and said, "Shhh.... don't tell the birds."

Kel - posted on 04/12/2010

Another one...Told ya, Dawn...LOL

When Rylie (my daughter) was two...we were out on the back porch one day, sitting in the swing and enjoying the nice weather. Some birds were hopping around on our back fence and she called to them, "Birds! Come here, birds!" Of course, the birds flew away. So, she called our dog. She was petting the dog and asked, "How come Pearl comes and the birds won't?" I explained the difference between wild and domesticated animals. We spent a long time listing different creatures. "Deer are wild. Cows aren't..." etc. After a few mintues of this she paused then asked, "Mama, where's the wild people?"

Dawn - posted on 04/12/2010

"hey mom , you gotta come to the bathroom and see this giant lincoln log i put inthe toilet"

Dawn - posted on 04/12/2010

well , what i have to share can be seen as either funny or embarassing or both.

my oldest daughter and i were in a local grocery store. my oldest was almost 3 at the time.she saw her gram take out her false teeth before and when we were in the store she saw this elderly woman with not so nice real teeth and yelled "hey lady, you need to take them teeth out and clean them" "take them teeth out lady". i do not think the woman heard her, but i was embarassed and we quickly and quietly left the store and i had a long talk with her about how it is never okay to point out another person's flaws.especially in public

Debbie - posted on 04/12/2010

I have a couple ones with my 8 year old when she was younger. I know my 2 year old has said funny things but they aren't coming to me right now.



When my 8 year old was around 3, I asked her to "Go into Mommy's Room and get Mommy's purse." She paused and I said it again, "Alex, go into Mommy's room and get Mommy's purse." She started to head to the bedroom and then my ex-husband (husband at the time and her daddy) thought I was being possessive of the room and changed the sentence around. He told her "Alex go into Daddy's room and get Mommy's purse." My daughter then changed direction and instead of going to the bedroom went to the kitchen instead. (smile)



Around the same time (when she was 3) we were watching Fairy Odd Parents and Timmy Turner commented about his mom cooking. Alex just started laughing. I asked her what was so funny and she told me that "Mommies don't cook." (smile)

Kel - posted on 04/12/2010

Oh boy! I bet I'm not the only mom with a funny kid...this conversation could end up with literally thousands of posts!



When my daughter was five she was determined to decide who her future husband would be...After pointing out that it might be against the law for her to marry her daddy, her grandaddy, her uncle, or her big brother...she settled on her friend Noah. One evening she announced she was going to marry a neighbor boy, Emmanuel. I was teasing her and said, "I thought you were going to marry Noah." She replied, "I'm going to marry them both and I'm going to have two kids. You need three parents for two kids, especially if they're crazy boys!"