what should i do im feeling really down and depressed :/
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Ali - posted on 06/13/2010
Vickie is right. But, I must say that sometimes it is so very hard to feel that way. And I just want you to know that it's okay to NOT feel that way ALL the time. It's downright impossible. The change that happens when we become parents is immense. It's so much and we become overstimulated, overloaded and overwhelmed. And, yes... Motherhood and creating a person is a HUGE accomplishment, but it's also the scariest thing to occur in one's life. You instantly become completely responsible for another life! The fear and intensity can attack us and we feel out of control with emotions. It's normal. Depression is so very common. Just be sure to breath, meditate, talk to others and trust in your maternal instincts.
Ali - posted on 06/12/2010
Whatever shame you might be feeling... LET IT GO! The life change is so overwhelmingly intense. It's a blow! DO NOT hesitate to ask for help. And DO NOT be afraid to take an anti-depressant. There is nothing wrong with needing assistance. WHY feel down if you don't HAVE to? There's no point in "toughing it out". Really. And ask for help literally too... from friends, family and your husband. Make time for YOU! And, know this... the mom's that are spouting things like, "My baby is so perfect. Motherhood is everything I ever dreamed of and more. Life couldn't be better" are FULL OF SHIT! Please. Give me an f-ing break! I think those moms are the "closet depressives" and are on the highest dose of meds. Either that or they pathetically have NO other goals or dreams in life then to be a mother. Wow! I sound like an asshole! Sorry. But, I won't take it back. What you're feeling is SO much more normal than we will even admit. Hang tough! This too shall pass! I promise you that.
PATRICIA - posted on 06/07/2010
I got very depressed after my first was born. Your hormones are so out of whack, it will get better. Go one walks. talk to friends/family, make play dates, if it gets worse talk to your doctor. but the hormones should even out in a few months . Talk to your hubby too. Maybe you need to do something for yourself.
Katherine - posted on 06/07/2010
I am in grad school and am doing a research project which deals a lot with depression and pregnancy. Typically baby blues are something which last at most two weeks after pregnancy after that you start getting into actual depression which would be post-partum depression if you have recently given birth. It is very common but unfortunatly not many women talk about it because having a baby is supposed to be the happiest thing ever. I myself had post-partum depression and I waited 3 months until I finally talked to my doctor about it. I was put on an anti-depressant and it has worked wonderfully! Of course every person is different and I would strongly suggest you talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. You should be able to feel happy!
Karen - posted on 06/07/2010
Hi Samantha! I know exactly how you're feeling. I have a 2 year old and an almost 4 year old and went through the same exact thing you are going through right now. I know it feels awful and you don't feel yourself. Hopefully you have a good support system. If you are feeling really depressed, make sure you talk to your significant other or someone who understands what you're going through. Don't bottle it up. I also agree with the other posts above. Exercise, taking the baby for a walk, getting some time to yourself is all good. Sleep is vital too. Make sure you sleep when the baby sleeps. If you feel that you're not feeling better, make sure you call your doctor. The 'Baby Blues' are completely normal and most of us have all been there. Hang in there and Congratulations on your new baby! :o)
Natasha - posted on 06/07/2010
I totally know how you feel. I think most mums do. It is such a big change having a new baby and all your hormones are going crazy! The best advise i can give you is get out of the house and take a nice walk in the fresh air every day. Exercise really made me feel a lot better. Also try to do something for yourself everyday that you enjoy doing. (do this while your little girl is sleeping). Another thing is to get as much sleep as possible! Even a little 20 min lie day will make the world of difference! All the best and if you keep feeling down and it doesn't get any better within the next few weeks go see a doctor.
Heather - posted on 06/07/2010
The majority of women experience the blues after having a baby. Sometimes it goes further to be depression. I am dealing with that right now. There are a few ways to help with that. You can go to counseling, join a support group, or get medication. You can also make sure to make time for yourself (even if it means leaving the baby with her daddy) so that you can get a break. It's really stressful when babies are really little. Also, it helps to just talk to the people you love about it. I didn't want to accept that I had depression until I talked to my husband about what was going on, and he told me to talk to my doc. Even my mom noticed it before I did, and she's halfway around the world (I'm in Japan right now-my husband is military).
Louise - posted on 06/07/2010
We all go through this don't worry. You have gone from being centre of attention with the family with every body saying how are you, have you had the baby yet, to bringing the baby home and everybody wanting to visit to nothing! That is when reality hits that you are on your own raising this child. It is a big burden to get your head around. Even if you have a husband to help it is still the mothers responsibility to care for a new born. Just give yourself some time to get used to the idea and try and make you time whether it is having a deep relaxing bath or just a walk. Time to clear your mind and be able to breath without your child. It will pass, it is just a shock to the system that baby is here and you have to care day and night for your little bundle of joy.
Fiona - posted on 06/07/2010
My little fella is 3 weeks old, and i have been feeling like u..they call it the baby blues, ans some say u get it alot earlier, but i didnt til i came outta hospital (was in 10 days)...think how the birth affects u can also make u feel worse. Do u have good support? Ask many friends and mums for support hun, and make sure u talk, as i find it really helps. The doc gave me some pills, but if thats not ur thing, consider counselling from ur local surestart childrens centre, they're great! Im gonna be attending the groups soon, when i've estazblished this 'on my own at home with baby' thing, as hubby went back to work 2day. Hope this has helped, chat anytime x