What to do?

Mandi - posted on 07/01/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I moved to a different state to be with my boyfriend. In the process I quit my job and moved away from my mom. I'm in a state where I only know my boyfriend and his family. I am not working from home and taking care of my son. I have been here 6 months and have become extremely depressed. I still do not have any friends here, the only people I see is my boyfriend, his kids, and my son. I stay at home all day working, doing school work, and cleaning. I just recently quit smoking and ever since I have been an emotional wreck. I feel lonely, sad, and just depressed. I would like to meet other moms or someone so I am socializing with someone other then the people I live with but I can't seem to find a way. I just need to get out of this depression that I have fallen into. Can anyone suggest anything to me?

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Michelle - posted on 07/04/2010

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moving to a new state with a bub is a really difficult thing to do. I did it when I was pregnant with my second child, so I was already really tired being pregnant and running around with a toddler. My best advice is to join a playgroup and meet other mums, or a lot of libraries here have a baby reading time (or something similar) and you can come and go as you please without having to book yourself in. My suggestion is to go to playgroup, but if the depression makes you doubt yourself check out your library first. If you go to a couple of these sessions you may feel a little more confident to join a playgroup and meet others. It is really important for you to get out there and meet people. You should also find something you want to do for yourself and get your partner to look after the baby while you go and do it, this will give you a way of meeting others and getting some time for yourself.

Brianna - posted on 07/03/2010

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You don't have to qualify for meetup groupd, lol. They keep a lot of the mom/kid groups private so that not everyone can see the information, names of members, pictures, meetup places. To many wierdos out there that would try and use that information. You just send an e-mail to the group/organizers and they will open it up for you!

Tara - posted on 07/03/2010

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I would do all the above mentioned activities so you can expose yourself to the local mom community, however I would also speak to a doctor if your depression/anxiety keeps you from trying these ideas out. If you feel so down or anxious about meeting new people that you don't leave the house than it can become cyclical and you end up staying home because you are too depressed to go out, and it just gets worse.
If you feel you aren't enjoying life, that even when you think you would normally feel happiness and you don't or if you find yourself thinking negative or apathetic thoughts often, please speak to someone. Depression is an illness and if left untreated can become a jail.
:)Tara good luck!

Stephanie - posted on 07/03/2010

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IDK about joining a group of moms that think you have to be "quallified ", that sounds fake to me.I like the real get your hands dirty & have fun with your kids type.I like to go to church & know how it can be to find one to call home, I moved out of my home town about 6 yrs ogo, I have taken all the avenues & came to relax over things and do the foot work as I feel comfortable.One day at a time, I have a mom network & a couple friends, I don't have family around either .There are community organizations all over & you can check into the closest Hospitals advocacy to see about groups, walks, and events to meet other moms, good luck & this time will pass .

Mandi - posted on 07/01/2010

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I just looked at meetup.com and sent registration to a local group of moms in my area. They are a private group so it said they would contact me if I was qualified to join their group. I hope to hear something soon!

Brianna - posted on 07/01/2010

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Also try meetup.com there are lots of groups that you can join on there I'm sure there are some in your area!!

Crystal - posted on 07/01/2010

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Find the local Mom's Club. They organize playgroups, Mom's night out, and other events throughout the year. Although I don't attend much anymore, I've been a part of our local chapter for years. :) It's definitely a start! Their website is www.momsclub.com. Best of luck!

Mandi - posted on 07/01/2010

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I have a trial behind my house so we do go out on a lot of walks but don't see many people out there. I am not even sure where there is a mall near me lol living in a smaller town makes it tough but I will find a way. :)

Mandi - posted on 07/01/2010

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There is a park near by but it is small and not many people go there. I live in a very small town so not much around that is close to us. My boyfriends family lives hours away from us so no family that is close. I have always been a shy person so it is hard to just walk up to strangers but I have looked into a moms group near me so I hope that will help. Thanks for the suggestions.

[deleted account]

hey! good for you for quitting smoking! i quit one year ago in may and let me tell you- best thing EVER! there are a lot of emotions that come with quitting smoking, i remember how upset i felt, and how depressed i got too!! can you go for walks where you are now? if you can, walking is a good way to meet people... i also like the parks, the library, and... the mall (if your malls have little play areas... OR before the mall opens, a lot of mommies "mall walk" with their babies in a stroller.... the more you go out and explore, the more comfortable you will become =) congrats on the quitting smoking!!!

Christy - posted on 07/01/2010

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Girl, get out more, even if it's a few hours a week, to meet some other people. Join a local mom's group, go up and talk randomly to moms with their kids wherever that may be. Sounds desperate, I know but you'd be surprised at the feedback you get.

Cynthia - posted on 07/01/2010

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Is there a park nearby to meet other kids...and their moms. Does the local library have a lap sit where moms and little ones listen to a story? These are all places to meet people. Get out of the house and see what is available. Is there anyone in your bf's family who is a stay at home mom also who can show you around and be introduced to others? Good luck and keep us posted.

Mandi - posted on 07/01/2010

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Thank you :). My boyfriend has lived here his whole life so he has friends here but I still do not know anyone. I just found a local meet up for moms so hopefully that will help.

Jonna - posted on 07/01/2010

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The only way I got by when my husband and I moved to a new state where we didn't know anyone was by connecting with a community. We went to church and met a ton of people, and when I went to work outside the home, I met a lot of new people too. You'll never meet anyone if you don't go out of the house. It's tough, but find a way to get out. Good Luck, I know know how that feels.

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