what to use to calm my children for bed?

Anne - posted on 10/16/2011

We do baths with lavender calming soap and then when they are done we use the lavender calming loction. We start about 7 or 730 and they are in bed between 8 and 830

Tracey - posted on 10/16/2011

Besides reading, bath, and setting up a consistent routine, I've found how much physical activity my kids get is very important. When my kids are very active during the day, they go to sleep much more easily and stay asleep. On days when they're not very active, they can't seem to get to sleep, and tend to wake up a lot. This really didn't come into play much until my oldest was around 10, because before then, my oldest two were very active, in sports and just playing hard. At that age he wasn't in sports and started sitting around a lot playing computer games. Trust me, my husband and I tried hard to get him off the couch! He started playing U.S. football on a travel team, and his problems getting to sleep are a thing of the past and his problems staying asleep are gone.

But be careful that they're not too active close to bedtime. My older daughter had a ballet class that wasn't ending until 9 p.m., starting when she was 8, and by the time she got home it was nearly 10 p.m. and she was so wound up and hungry she couldn't sleep for another hour or two. She now finishes at 8 each night and that has helped. But I would prefer her to be done earlier in order to push her bedtime back. 2-3 hours before bed would be about the latest they should play hard, I think, without it winding them up too much.

Briana - posted on 10/16/2011

I agree with all the replies that routine is important. I'm like you though, and have a hard time sticking to one. I think you're on the right track with having a consistent time for bed. Our routine is very simple-we brush teeth, get pj's on and all cuddle in bed to read books. Reading books is a very calming thing for my 20 months old and 4 years old. Maybe twice a week when they're especially rowdy we do massages with essential oils after getting pajamas on. My kids love the massages and will also ask for them. I use lavender oil and a doTERRA blend called Serenity. I also sell doTERRA essential oils. If you are interested in them or if you have questions on how we use eo's you can message me. I also use them for stuffy noses and indigestion issues at night. We also co-sleep because my son has had reflux issues and I don't like to leave him alone at night and our 4 yo was feeling left out with the rest of the family sleeping together. You have to do what works for your family. As for your hubby, maybe you could decide on a bedtime routine as a family. Let everyone give their input on what would they would like in a bedtime routine and compromise on one routine that everyone will follow. If everyone feels like they've had a hand in making the routine, they'll be more likely to follow it and maybe even help you to stick to it. Good luck! Hope this helps!

Dawn - posted on 10/16/2011

I would have to agree with everyone, routine is important. Another mom mentioned the Johnsons bedtime bath and lotion, which is exactly what I use with my very rowdy 4yr old son. Every night he gets a bath around 7:30(using the bedtime bath and lotion), I like to massage the lotion in when I put it on, which also helps to calm him, then he will maybe watch a program (lately its been a Leapfrog movie) or have a snack, brush his teeth and I'll lay him down. He's usually out within 5 minutes. :) My husband tries his hardest to keep my routine. It is very important to communicate when it comes to routines/schedules and discipline. good luck!

Stefanie - posted on 10/16/2011

routine...routine...routine. Kids thrive on routine and what to expect. dad needs to get on board. We do warm baths or showers, then my husband and I each take a child ( I have two girls ages 4 and 2) and we read books to them, then we allow them a warm sipy cup of milk as we read to them, and then they lay in bed and listen to and watch their soothing lightshow and music:
http. ://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5913225&findingMethod=rr
Works for us! Goodluck!

Amber - posted on 10/16/2011

I agree with everyone else. They would probably thrive on a routine. We do dinner around 6 or 6:30, bath right after dinner and then we all sit down and read a book. My girls are 8 and 15 months. My 15 month old has a hard time sitting still for the book but I read it anyway. My 8 year old has an iPod and has an alarm set on it to tell her she needs to take her medicine and get her backpack ready for school and she knows at 8:30 it's time for bed, my 15 month old usually falls asleep on the couch. As far as your husband goes tell him if he cant get on board with you and the routine to just stay out of the way and quit being part of the problem. I know it sounds crappy but it may help. I had the same problem with my husband and I told him help me out or get out of my way because this is what our kids NEED and I'm not gonna have you set us back because you want to be soft. After a few days of him not getting to spend much time with the girls after dinner he got with the program and everything runs pretty smooth. We get off track from time to time and that's ok as long as you get back to it as soon as you can. Good luck!!

Tina - posted on 10/12/2011

No matter the age kids need structure. So get them into the habit. Dinner, Play, Bath,1/2 Show and then a Story works for us. Also - if your kids get wound up they are likely overtired so maybe try to get them to bed earlier. My LO acts all nutty if I let her get past the sleepy point...

Kylie - posted on 10/12/2011

we read a story before bed that calms our 2yr old down. your older one might like to read alone (tell the they ahve to stay in bed, but can read for up to 30mins if they like - tehy think it's a treat, cause they get to stay up, but you get them to calm down, and they are aldready in bed!). also try a warm bath, it realaxes most people.

Amanda - posted on 10/12/2011

Warm milk and a book after a bath works for us. My 2 also like me to sing them a song as I am tucking them in.

Keri - posted on 10/12/2011

I think it just takes a lot of repetition. Lots of kids know their bedtime routine backwards and forwards but just know that when it starts, the fun they may have been having prior to that time is now done for the day. Do they take baths before bed? Johnson & Johnson makes a line of "bedtime" products like body wash, shampoo and lotion. The formula is supposed to be cool and calming and the aroma is meant to relax the senses.

Erica - posted on 10/11/2011

Lavender lotion and warm milk works wonders!

Angela - posted on 10/11/2011

We use a nightly routine of pajamas, reading, brushing teeth and getting tucked in. I also use essential oils for nights when they may be hyper or not settling down. I find the oils mixed with a foot or chest/back massage really calms things down (3 boys, 5 and under). The ones I like the best are Lavender, Serenity and Balance. I mix them with a baby massage oil or coconut oil. All very relaxing. I have a site where you can find them at www.doterradirect.com.



One idea might be to get the kids involved in making a routine that they enjoy. Maybe a treasure map and stickers for each activitiy leading up to bed or something creative that gives them ownership and responsibility. That way they can initiate it instead of having to rely on an adult to know what to do.

Tracie - posted on 10/11/2011

Routine + reading = works like magic for us!

Bonnie - posted on 10/11/2011

I know you say your husband doesn't use them, but routines work wonders and it helps to be on the same page. My boys are 3 and almost 5 and since they have been around a year old, we have had a routine with them.

On the nights they have a bath, they have that first at around 7 or 7:30pm. On the nights they don't have a bath, by 7:45/8pm at the latest, they get changed for bed. They have fruit, their teeth brushed, bedtime story if we have enough time, and then bed. Sometimes we have the tv on while they have their fruit, but it is never anything they are interested in watching as that would probably round rile them up more. It can be calming.

Katrina - posted on 10/11/2011

Kids are sticklers for routine - it also helps them feel like the world is ok (if the routine occurs, everythings ok). Making sure you have plenty of time with each of them, so their rowdiness isn't set off by lack of attention (according to each of their needs). I read my 3 yr-old a story before bed then he listens to music til he falls asleep (often gets out of bed and I simply remind him it's bedtime, and take him back. My 10 yr-old gets scared a bit (and I do know why), but I still stick to encouraging her to be in her own bed. Sometimes I have to be in there with her for a little while, then go out, come check on her every now and then, so she feels more comfortable, etc. She and I read together (a paragraph/page each at a time) The kids know their routine, and they love it. If I'm tired and forget part of it, they remind me (plus we have it written on a chart so everyone knows what's happening. Of course, with your husband not backing you up, it could be difficult, but still totally do-able. Guess what I'd suggest, is figure out what time they start getting rowdy, and try to get everything done by then, read a story and off to bed. Also, it needs to be a routine you're comfotable with, if you're not comfortable with it, you won't stick to it. Hope you find an end to it soon. xxx

Brianna - posted on 10/10/2011

bedtime stories are always nice

Keli - posted on 10/10/2011

have you considered getting them into reading... i try to do things by routine but im not hardcore on it sometimes we slip off routine,my suggestion would be to start with your youngest around 8 after a bad and in pjs get her interested in reading a book either with her or on her own maybe she will get sleepy after some quiet time,then do the same with the older one. i used to read alot when i was a child,it was my thing to do everynight before bed. most likely beacuse there wasnt video games and computers to distract me so much, lol.