When dad is home, life is much more difficult!

Holly - posted on 08/25/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Am I the only one who feels like this? My husband recently took four days off work, plus two of the weekend so six total, and by day 2 we were arguing about issues regarding our son and by 4 days I was seriously telling him to go back to work!



Issues regarding, rules that seemed so obvious to me (no writing on toys) which he allowed him to do when I was not around, thinking the phenomenon of not being able to do a task for more than two minutes before needing to pay attention to our toddler doesn't apply to him, and wondering why our son would scream and bang on a closed door which he was on the other side of...just a couple of frustrating examples!



If he would just listen to me and respect the fact that I am with him all day everyday and go with what I said regarding him it would make all of our lives so much easier but he's so stubborn and defensive!!



Any help of anyone who's dealt with this as well would be much appreciated!!!



Should probably mention our son is 21 months old and I am currently 4.5 months pregnant with our second!

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Heather - posted on 08/25/2010

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Hello ladies!! Holly I know exactly how u feel!! My husband works long hrs and is sleeping most of the day and is only up for like 2-4 hrs with the kids daily. He has no comprehension of why we have a schedule and why it is the way it is and when he is home for regular days off I just kind of go with the flow, however when he is home for an extended period (anything more than 3 days) I am also at the point where I will tell him, it's time for you to go back to work or I need to take a whole day off! We had this issue several times before I finally sat down with him (very shortly after getting preggo with #3, I am 7mths) and explained to him some of the reasons we have a schedule and why I would appreciate the help to keep it up when he is home. I used examples like "lunch time is between 12-12:30 because if we wait any longer the kids are starving and cranky and the house turns into chaos" then I made him really pay attention the next time he disturbed some part of their schedule to make him realize what was going on. It seemed to help quite a bit. However, we as moms also need to let go. Remind ourselves that they don't get to spend nearly as much time with the kids as we do and they will always do things differently but not neccessarily wrong. Cut them some slack and ask only that they keep the biggies in place, like no writing on walls, or no throwning balls in the house, and try to keep the kids schedule a little closer to routine and then let them run with the time they do have with the kiddos. Also remember that since we do spend all day every day with the kids we have had a lot more time to learn our children, their moods and behaviors, and daddy doesn't always have that on his side. K so now I'm rambling, LOL. Just know you are not the only one in this boat and hopefully some of what i said helps. Good Luck Momma!!
BTW I have a 4yo girl, a 2yo boy, and Baby#3 Girl due in Oct.

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Candy - posted on 08/25/2010

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I agree !! My Hubby works 24 on and sometimes 48 hours on. When he has to take off and is home for more then one day in a row it is crazy. Of course it is the oppsite at my house then yours. He is more strict with our girls then I am. so there is alot of crying and fighting between them when he is home. I am here 24/7. he want listen when I tell him the best way to handle something. I love him to death. On a normal day off here and there,yes it is nice but when he is home for more then a day in a row, it gets crazy. He just want listen to me when I tell him how to handle things. I feel your pain !! How to handle it? Let me know if you figure it out.lol :)

Holly - posted on 08/25/2010

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Well yes you're right, on normal days I can't wait for him to come home, but it's only for about an hour until our child goes to bed anyway, so they play like mad, which is great. I'm talking about weekends...holidays...when he's home all day and doesn't know our routine!

Amy - posted on 08/25/2010

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I disagree!! I cant wait till 7pm comes and Daddy gets home to help relieve me of my mommy duties! He is such a great help!

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