Jennifer - posted on 01/05/2010 ( 25 moms have responded )
My first two kids are from a previous marriage. My ex was a dead beat husband and father. I think he has spent more time in prison than out! My current husband has adopted the kids after a long drawn out battle (my ex had no argument, we just had to go through all the legal junk). Though my kids don't remember their birth father, they do remember mommy and daddy getting married and they also remember going to the court house though they don't know the reason. My husband wants to wait til the kids are 18 to tell them, but I think they need to know sooner. Some day before they are 18, they are going to put 2 and 2 together and figure it out on their own, then be mad at us for not telling them. I know my husband is afraid that the kids will want to leave him and find their birth father as soon as they find out. I don't think they will, because he is a wonderful father to them. I know there will be some curiosity, but once they realize what kind of man my ex is, they won't want to be with him. I just don't know a proper age to tell them. They need to be old enough to understand, but young enough not to have figured it out on their own.