Why do people frown upon stay-at-home moms?

Jennifer - posted on 06/25/2010

It is PURE JEALOUSY!!! Just shake it off -- I DO!

Jennifer - posted on 06/25/2010

My husband says to me sometimes --- That he wants me to work also! Which is BUllshit also! Because even when they get older they need you more! That is why you should stay home and volunteer in thier rooms also! When they are in school! GOOD FOR YOU!

Jennifer - posted on 06/25/2010

I stay home and I can tell you that I hear the same things! It is more from my sister-in-law and my husbands friends! BULLSHIT!!! It is like they are thinking "WHy DO I Have to work with kids and SHe doesn't!" I picked the right guy and I told him when I was in the hospital that I wanted to stay home and raise my kids! I don't regret it at all! I wanted to see all thier firsts!!!! Just like you do! GOOD FOR YOU!

Dawn - posted on 06/25/2010

I agree with Ella B. Get some new friends. Really - if the people you are talking to can only down you, then you don't need to be talking to them. You know why you made your decision to stay at home with your son. Stick by it regardless. And find some people who will encourage you along the way. It is hard enough without having people try to make you feel bad about it.

Lucy - posted on 06/25/2010

Some people are just rude and think they know best about everything.

I have been a working mum and a SAHM, which personally suits our family better, and I have had negative comments from both sides of the fence.

When I went back to work when my daughter was 6 months, I overheard comments from two mums at the parent and toddler group saying I couldn't "hack it" as a full time parent and was lazy to hand her over to a nursery. Now we have two kids (2 and 4) and I am a SAHM, another mum at playgroup said straight to my face "What? You don't go out to work at all? Don't you feel bad that you don't contribute to the household?"!

So, welcome to being a parent! Every parent is different, and I don't think it is fair to say that either being a SAHM or a working mum is always best. What ever you choose, there will always be some who want to do you down, so just ignore them. When it comes to being a SAHM, You're damned if you do and damned if you don't!

Medic - posted on 06/24/2010

So tell them to kiss your ass!!!!! They have the right to choose how they screw up their kids and we just prefer to torment ours on a 24 hour a day basis.....well thats what I tell people....or my other favorite is how am I going to train a proper terriorist if I send him away for 8-10 hours a day....things like that take lots of time....usually after one of those I don't get many more comments.

Tiffany - posted on 06/24/2010

Staying home with your son is the best thing you can do for him. I just tell people that I had a son so that I could raise him, not leave him with a sitter and go on like I used to. That shuts them up!! I don't know why we get crap because we don't "make money" If we got paid for all that we do, we would be millionaires. seriously. I am so glad that there are other moms who feel how I do.

Daisy - posted on 06/24/2010

I am sooooooo happy to see a post like this one and so many positive remarks on this issue. Wow awesome!!! First of all i get crap like that thrown at me without really being said to my face almost daily. From my friends i get the usual "i don't know how you can do it", or the most popular one "i would go crazy staying at home with the kids". Okay it's called BEING A PARENT, RAISING YOUR KIDS YOURSELF AND NOT PUTTING THEM IN DAYCARE BECAUSE YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOUR COFFEE IN THE MORNINGS, OR YOUR GUCCHI SHOES...Sorry got overwhelmed on this one. I respect all Mothers out there, whether they are stay at home moms or working moms, it is extremely hard going outside the home to work and then coming home to be a Mother at the end of the day. I admire and respect single moms that have no choice but to put their children in daycare because they won't be able to feed them. I used to be an Executive Secretary for a General Manager at a Marriott hotel and i loved my job but when i got pregnant i knew i would not go back to my job and four years later, i do not regret it at all. I am now a Mother of a second child, a baby boy of 9 months and i'll be doing the same with him, raising him myself. We are on a one income household, we have struggled to make ends meet, i even work sometimes as an Independent Contractor at home but doesn't bring in the money i need, but with all of that we are satisfied and happy.

I love being a stay at home mom and you shouldn't care what other people think in the first place, being a Mother is more work than doing it out there. If other Moms have an issue with us Staying at home moms then it has to be because they can't handle it and therefore would rather be at work than dealing with feeding, diapers, naps, screams ( i can do without that lol)...Anyways, wow sorry it turned out to be so long but it does upset me to hear these stories...Don't pay attention to what they tell you, what matters are your kids and your life not what they think or don't think...

Sheryl - posted on 06/24/2010

i would till them just because i am a stay home mom doesn't mean i am lazy. yes there are those but not all. everyone nows not to till me that i am lazy. even my husbend. i stand up for myself. i just till them ok you do my day or better yet week. cause my sons have a speech delay and my youngest has sensory processing disorder, seizure, peanut allergie, egg allergie, and my be austic. then allergies like crazy from pollen and to tall of grass. its crazy. so people have learned not to say anything like that to me. and those who have tryed got a big peace of my mind. i think when they here stay at home mom they think lazy. but my thing is they really don't see all of the pic.! you say your working out of the house then good for you. you get the best of both worlds. if they don't get it then who cares. just till them to get lost! best of luck! i think all of us stay home moms get it. even if we are not lazy.

Melany - posted on 06/24/2010

I have not had any experience with people giving me a hard time at being a stay at home mom. However, I never planned to stay home with my kids and had a lot of pressure from my MIL and my mom to do so (which made me want to do the opposite). Definitely try to find a group of SAHMs in your area. They are the best support group you can find :)

Scaire - posted on 06/24/2010

Having a baby/toddler etc is a fulltime job! We may not get paid for it but we don't get breaks as when they nap we are normally cleaning and making sure everything is ready for their next meal etc... If anything those who go to work and leave their children with others to look after them are more lazy than SAHM's (btw i mean no offence it is just my opinion!)
And just think of all the amazing things they are missing out on, their babies first words, crawling, walking etc etc i tried going back to work for a little bit but didn't last a month! I missed my son waaaay to much and i felt like a terrible mother for leaving him with his Grandma everyday :( I will only return to work once my son is in nursery or primary school and even then it would only be part time.

Charleen - posted on 06/24/2010

I know exactly what you mean. I worked until my daughter was 2 and then when I was 3 months pregnant with my son I got put on bedrest and never went back. I got so tired of hearing people especially family, saying that I needed to go back to work. My mother in law actually told me that I needed to go to work so I could stop sitting around and have something to do. That made me furious, I almost always have a clean house, always when she's here LOL, I am actively involved in my daughter's school, on 3 committees, and in the PTA, plus I am very active in a local mom's club for my son who's not in school yet. Plus I am a chauffer to my kids, I run errands and help out taking my mom to her drs appts. How is that lazy? I do more in a day probably then my husband who goes to work. Plus I am on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Who's the one up all night with the sick kiddos, not hubby who has to work in the morning.

Vanessa - posted on 06/24/2010

Tell them I rather forgo certain luxuries of life, than have a stranger raise my children for me. One doesn't say after the first four years of there child's life look back and say boy I sure missed out on OVERTIME, or DEADLINES, NO regretfully and YET tooo often parents look back and wish they had spent more time with there children, especially when it's too late. After there children have become despondent or have grown into a mind of there own, and are disrespectful and talking-back. It takes ALOT of determination, LOVE, and perserverance, and GREAT patience to raise children, on top of dirty diapers, spit-ups, tantrums, bathing, grooming, nursing, teething, then oh throw-up accidents, potty training stage of poopy & pee pee accidents, we have sweeping, dusting, vacuuming, laundry, dishes, ironing, cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner, not to mention snacks, paying the bills, organizing closets, and that's just the short of it to keep the entire household in order from allowing chaos to rule the day or dominate our families lives, YET we manage to keep up with society view of women and live modern lives and we find time amidst it all to do our hair, nails, and work on our killer bodies. FACE IT Stay At Home MOMS ROCK!! We are YOUR MODERN DAY DOMESTIC DIVAS!! Whose LAZY?? I think not! More like those who pay others to avoid it all.

Jessica - posted on 06/24/2010

I get the same thing! But you know what, I would rather hear their crap then put our kids in daycare! I don't want someone else raising our children. You are doing the right thing!

Dawn - posted on 06/24/2010

I work from home for a company, and it's an easy job. I started when I started getting bs left and right. I thought that would back them off but NO, me staying home makes me a bad mother I guess. Thanks everyone for understanding and supporting me!

Alana - posted on 06/24/2010

They're just jealous because, lets face it, staying home with your babies is straight up awesome! We go to the park and hang out with other babies and get fresh air and sunshine all of the time!
I also think people who ditch their babes at daycare to "bring home the bacon" are delusional. Having a job actually costs more money than most people think when you have kids. Check this out:
http://moneycentral.msn.com/personal-fin...

In addition to that, I think that our capitalist, patriarchal society really undervalues the private sphere of work. It seems that raising children and keeping a clean happy house is worth less than driving a nicer car, or having more crap in your house. What unusual priorities...

Kayleen - posted on 06/24/2010

nevermind their bs!! you do what is right for you and your son!!! us sahm actually work more!! they are the lazy ones.... having other ppl raise they kids..... what feels right for you two is what is right!!!!! ignore they bs and be happy with your choice.

Ella - posted on 06/24/2010

b/c you need new friends! for real! Try to surround yourself w/SAHM. It helps!!!! I swear!!
Try joining a AP community. They are usually very understanding!!! LMK if you would like (on-line) community ideas. :)