Why do people frown upon stay-at-home moms?

Liz - posted on 07/08/2010

You've probably seen this going around at this point, but in case you haven't, share this link with people people who give you crap: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/con...
It's from Carolyn Hax at the Washington Post, and it pretty much sums up the important job we do, and the lack of understanding that is out there about 24/7 nature of it. I'm sure you're an awesome, loving mom and give them exactly what they need. If this is the case, forget what the nay-sayers say. You know you are doing your job right.

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Dana - posted on 07/08/2010

i agree with her it is lazy to let other people raise ur kids NOT the other way around

Clare - posted on 07/08/2010

Ignore them. my mum was a stay at home mum and some of my best memories from childhood are from that time hence i really wanted to be a stay at home mum myself. we are not well off but my kids never go without and have treats but the time i get to spend with them is what they love the most. we spend time painting, reading, singing, counting. I am educated and have a degree in education i have just choosen to stay at home while my children are young. i know children with full time mums who spend their day in nursery and have found that they are not so good at being nice to one another or sharing as they fight for their place in nursery but my children are polite and kind to others share what they have. my son attends nursery twice a week for a few hours for social aspects but i would never want him in full time. so ignore those ones that give you looks and just think how you and your child are bonding and the learning they are getting from you they will remember that with fondness and appreciate it when they are grown.

Kristi - posted on 07/08/2010

Hi Dawn, I have been a SAHM and a working mom, and everything in between. There is no perfect solution that applies to every household in America, and all over the world. Each family has its own needs and priorities. Unfortunately for many, they are saddled with lots of things that cost money to keep up, and it's too hard to scale down or they aren't willing to do it, and in many cases I think society makes people feel like they are crazy to not want more stuff. So they keep working and hoping somewhere down the road they will catch up. I feel so lucky to realize early on that you can't catch up. The more you have, the more it costs, and the more you work to pay for it all. Very few families seem to have an arrangement where one parent makes enough for all to live comfortably. Interestingly enough, the folks I know that make what the rest of us would consider A LOT of money, just have more expensive stuff to pay for, so when it all shakes out, they are no better off than the rest of us low-income or middle-class families at the end of the month. Something else to consider is the generational shift. Many parents raising kids today were raised by parents whose SAHM efforts were thwarted by the "feminism" movements. I can't tell you how many of my older friends (50's and 60's) who have sons and daughters my age (late 30's) make comments frowning upon their non-working kids who are home with the grandchildren. That might work for those who have grandparents willing to provide fulltime childcare, but for most of us, we want and our kids NEED the contact with their own parents that two-parent working families just don't provide. There are certainly exceptions all over the place, but when people make comments to you, take a close look at them to see where they might be coming from and choose your response carefully if you bother to respond at all. A wise and knowing look and smile is worth a thousand words most of the time. If you have to say anything, mention something to the effect that the current economy doesn't provide jobs that bring home any takehome pay after all the daycare expenses are paid. That's just a plain simple fact in many households, especially in urban areas where daycare can cost upwards of $1500 a month for one child (not to mention commute costs, wardrobe, lunches, sicker children/pediatricians, etc.). SAHM's that have worked in an office know that in most cases, going off to the office is a freaking breeze and vacation compared to battling it out in the trenches with a toddler's meltdown in the grocery store. I remember wearing beautiful outfits to work and having thoughtful conversations that weren't interrupted with other adults. Lunches with my favorite books. Even going out for a drink afterward! Whoo-eeeee! LOL! But you and I both know that the greatest rewards we can reap are in being there for our children if we are able to give wholly to them. No paycheck, retirement savings or benefits could replace the time you are spending with them. You are raising them, teaching them, loving them. They know that they mean something to their family. I also feel that it is important to be supportive of working mothers, because I have been there, and I understand the heartstrings that are tugged and the tears in the bathroom that occur all the time for those moms. And that's in a workplace that is supportive of working parents. I can't even imagine what it would be like to work for a company that didn't flex for parents. When working parents say things that seem to put down SAHM's I try hard to remember that they are being defensive because they often question their own mission and are green with envy at your ability to stand your ground at home. Know in your heart that you are doing a wonderful thing for your kids and your family, even if being a SAHM is often a thankless job in the adult world. Your kids' hugs and kisses, and your getting to personally witness every day of their growth is money in the bank! At least that's my two cents, for what it's worth. :) Good luck and hugs to you! xoxo Kristi

Joan - posted on 07/08/2010

i think it also depends where you live. i live in CT and most of the moms in my area are sthm. i dont know anyone except my sister in this area that does go to work. i would love to have a part time job but childcare is so expensive i dont think it is worth my while.

Amy - posted on 07/08/2010

We get garbage looks and responses because sahm are viewed as lazy, uneducated, or particularly well-off. The first two are seen as avoidable, and the latter, although it is what many wish they were, produces green monsters. Many sahm also forget that it is not simply the age at which the children can stay home alone that should help them decide whether to (re)enter the workforce, but life stage. I am so glad I have chosen to continue to be a full-time mom as my children enter and move through high school. The volunteer time I put in at the school and the "ordinary things" I hear in the carpool are priceless. May God bless every day you are with your children ♥.

Jennifer - posted on 07/08/2010

Wooo hoooo suck it !!!!

Kelly - posted on 07/08/2010

If your son is happy and you're happy, tell the naysayers to suck it!

Renee - posted on 07/08/2010

My hubby & I get comments all the time. No one seems to understand that we make the sacrifice because we feel that it is important for one of us to always be available.
I feel that my sister is jealous of the fact that I get to watch my boys grow. She constantly makes comments about the fact that she has to go to work "to make that money". I just brush it off it doesn't matter to me what others think. As long as my hubby is still on board & willing then I see no problem with it. I'm a licensed Medical Assistant. I have also worked from home(licensed daycare) before & if we need extra cash in the future. I would do it again. But right now my job is being here for them and everyone who stays home knows that is not an easy or uneventful job. All of you stay at homes should be proud. When our children grow up they will have a child hood that they can look back on & smile!

Shoni - posted on 07/08/2010

Ask THEIR kids in 10 years the difference. At least ours will have that bonding and won't call the nannies name when they have a nightmare!

Jennifer - posted on 07/08/2010

The real question is why do you care so much what other people think. They don't know what you go through every day and how much better staying at home is for you and your family....the only thing that really matters. I used to listen to all the comments and it affected me greatly, then I realized I DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM. I only care about me and my family and whats good for us. So I say feel sorry for the person so interested in your life because they must not have a great life of their own.

Alicia - posted on 07/08/2010

Here's a few thoughts:
-someone already mentioned that it makes more sense for middle income famlies for one parent to stay home, especially if you have more than one child.
-if more moms did stay home and raise their children with respect, morals, exercise and religion the teachers could focus more on what they SHOULD be- teaching! Not raising other people's kids.
-your children will only be young for such a short time. Enjoy every second with them!
-check out www.salary.com to see the mom wizard for 2010. The estimated annual salary for a SAHM is $117,850! That's because of all the roles she plays. Cook, cleaning lady, teacher, laundry, personal assistant, accountant, and MANY more.
So mommies, pat yourself on the back, hold your heads high, and keep doing what your doing! You are the glue that keeps your family together. And my MIL once told me, your kids will remember how much you love them-not how clean your house is.

Carly - posted on 07/08/2010

Wow there are a lot more stay at home moms then i thought!!! i am proud and spoiled!!! my husband was excited for me to stay home and loves it too because i get to spoil him as well. everything is done for him. If i was working thigns would be competely different! All o four friends and i mean all of them cannot wait to go back to work and i told them they are in for a rude awakening when that baby comes! People give you crap because they believe that women are higher standards then they were in the 50's which is definetly true but what does it matter wether you work hard for your kids college or your work hard for your kids relationship with you! You are a geat mom and making the stay at home decision is a huge sacrfice! I wouldnt trade it for the world!

Jennifer - posted on 07/08/2010

Some people are just set in their ways. I'm also a stay at home mom and it's the best decision I ever made. I had some people tell me that we won't have enough of money since I'm not working. I also decided to home school my son and I have so many people putting me down for that as well. I had my mother in law tell me my son is going to turn out weird. I learned not to care what other people think. Your his mom and you know whats best for him. Have fun and enjoy your time because they grow up fast.

Jaylin - posted on 07/08/2010

everyone has an opinion .....your saving money by staying home as well. If you guys are ok financially than the best place for u is home:-)

Melissa - posted on 07/08/2010

I'm so sorry that you have to put up with that sort of b.s. It's just not right. I feel so blessed that I can stay home with my little girl! I have surrounded myself with other sahm and that does make a difference. Just the other day a mom at church who has a son about 6 months younger than mine actually told me she didn't know how I did it all day everyday! She has a 4 day work week and doesn't know how to "entertain" her son one day a week when it's just the two of them!! I don't spend all day entertaining my daugther but I spend time with her and teaching her new things so that she can entertain herself (how else would I be sitting here typing this!!) Don't let others get you down. You are doing the best thing for your child!!

Jacqueline - posted on 07/08/2010

Being a SAHM gets a bad wrap! I was a working mom because I had to be. I was laid off of work a few months before my daughter started kindergarten. Let me tell you, I knew being home with my chlidren was going to be a challenge and hard work. It is that work. You are a jack of all trades so to speak. So, my advice to you is. Simply tell those that tell you are being lazy to hush. For they do not understand what is involved in your daily activites. I get up earlier than I did when I worked 8-6. I run all day long. I go to bed later than I did when I worked. There is no lazyness it what has to be done to rais your kids. There is no shame you should feel for being a SAHM. It has been hard adjusting for me, but worth every penny. I have found I have to read more, research more and work harder than I ever did before. When you make te choice to stay home, you make a choice to be a teacher, a role model, a cook, a housekeeper, and many, so many more things. Your family eats healthier because you are home. You are more involved with your childs life because you are home. Even though at times you kids may call you mean, they love that you are home. You become their role model. Their hero, their friend and a great MOM. Let no one take from you the joy you feel inside because you made a choice. A simple response can be, well I may not bring the bacon home, I make sure we keep as much of the bacon home as we can. Because when both parents work, majority of someones bacon is going to daycare and groceries. Plus you can sleep at night because you only have the stress of your household. Not the stress of your household, plus what is gong on at work. I still have stress in my life, but it is far less than it was before. I am healthier now than I was when I worked outside the home. Good for you for making the choice I wish I would have done it sooner.

Stefanie - posted on 07/08/2010

Because they're jealous and have insecurities about leaving their own kids to be raised by someone else. If all moms worked they wouldn't have to wonder if they made the right decision.I too suffered this ridicule for a LONG time. Most of it came from my in-laws because my sister-in-law had her kids around the same time and chose to go back to work. I think they were all trying to justify her decision. Everyone is different. I was a stay at home mom with my first child from my first marriage and received lots of moral support from my mother in law. She felt that mom's should stay home with the kids. I then divorced and was a single working mom. I remarried and was still a working mom until the birth of my second child. I have three boys now and have been a sahm for 11 yrs now. I can honestly say, having done both, that being a sahm is more demanding on my personally. I guess if I just sat around watching soaps and eating bon bons like lots of people think I do I wouldn't be so exhausted at the end of the day. I can tell you that I've never once thought "man, I miss going to meetings- I miss those reports- I miss employee reviews- or policy reviews, etc." On the rare occasion I've been absent from my boys when they did something for the first time or did something exceptionally well, I HAVE missed that and always will. Now, having said that, there are those mom's out there who simply cannot afford to stay home. In a middle income household, if you look at the numbers it doesn't make financial sense to work. By the time you pay childcare, gas, and all of the other expenses related to working, if you do make a profit, it's usually not enough to justify leaving the kids. In a low income house, or single mom situation, there are programs to help with childcare and working is the only way to pay the bills. For a professional, like dr. or lawyer, I can totally understand not wanting to throw ALL of that education away. And they're probably still paying student loans. Plus, the professionals usually have more flexible hours and can afford to hire help with housework so that their time off can just be spent with their kids. The professionals usually have a nanny as well so they don't have to send the kids to daycare. I wish everyone would just remember that there are many different situations and circumstances, that we're all different, and as long as what we do as mothers for our kids is done with love and the best intentions, we're all good moms doing our best.

Shannon - posted on 07/08/2010

Anyone who thinks it's "easy" being a SAHM has clearly never done it. Call me old-fashioned, but I thought you were supposed to be the one raising your children, not other people.

Sue - posted on 07/08/2010

JEALOUS and maybe feeling bad that they had to go back to work. It's not for everyone and I think those that choose to go back to work or are not in a financial position to stay at home have some feelings of guilt as well. Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people is the best! I would never bash a working mom, being a mom is a tough job no matter how many other jobs you do at the same time.

Shraddha - posted on 07/08/2010

hey u r doing the best thing for your child i am SAHM .but the amt love from u r kid is not satisfying and fulfilling as any job in the world . u go girl ...the working moms don't know what they are missing ......

Melizza - posted on 07/08/2010

I completely understand how you feel! Some people make you feel like you don't do anything and you should go work but that's not true. We work very hard and what we do is pulling lots of weight! I actually felt guilty myself and started find jobs but I finally found a job that lets me work from home. Totally ligit! I love it and it helps us with the bills and I get to stay home with my little munchkin! Which is very important to me. Don't let anyone put you down...screw those people! You need new friends.

Cecilia - posted on 07/08/2010

Being a SAHM is a FULL TIME job. No I dont mean 40 hrs a week like you would think. I am saying 24 hours, 7 days a week, full time. You clean, cook, run errands, take care of the child/children, and in that still try to shower and sleep! Its NOT easy. People are sadly mistaken if they think this is easy. Especially when your child OR you are sick, then its almost impossible! Children are not always easy to care for but we do it because we love them. Staying at home with your child is the BEST thing you can do for them, if you are financially able to. Why have someone else raise your baby when the person they need the most is their parents? Forget about the people who tell you that you are lazy and dont do anything. You are doing what is right for you and your child. If they tried to do what you do, they would be lost. I have so far gotten lucky and have met only people who support my decision. Once my kids well my one now and any that come along the way, start school I am going to try to work a part time job, possibly with the school, something where I have the ease of leaving if the kids call without getting the third degree from my boss, and where I will still be bringing in atleast a little bit of money. Even if it only pays one bill. Every little bit helps. My point is, dont worry about those people. You are doing what is right for you. That is all that matters. :)

Laura - posted on 07/08/2010

Being a mum is a full time job you are working 24/7 not 9-5. I am a stay at home mum and I will go to work once both of my children are in school full time. I don't care what people think of me it's my choice I wanted to raise my children and not pay someone else to do it for me and you have that right as well. don't let people put you down you have the most rewarding job in the world and that is being a mum x

Denise - posted on 07/08/2010

Being a stay at home mom is the most important job you'll ever have. Being there for the formative years is vital for your children's growth and well-being. People that down you for staying home, probably work and are just insecure about their decision to work. There is no greater gift you can give your child than being there for him every day. It's the people who work who should feel guilty. They miss out on so much and have others raising their children. Why have children if others will raise them?! Maybe that's why children grow up too fast and are so screwed up -- because their moms chose to work instead of being there for them.

Paula - posted on 07/08/2010

I had my youngest 3 kids very close together and I stayed home with their older brother so I wanted to do the same with them. My husband supported me in this. Why have kids at all if you just ship them off to day care, where a stranger sees their first smile crawl and steps just to tell you about it when you pick them up. Also the wages I would earn would just about cover the child care costs and the house work would still be there when I got home. So enjoy the time with you son and tell the rest to butt out!

Jennifer - posted on 07/08/2010

Woman are alwys critical of other woman. What you are doing is a noble and rewarding decision for you and your family. Do not let the other career woman bring you down your family needs you right now and the rewards at the end will be well worth it.

Lesley - posted on 07/08/2010

Ignore them. Or, the next time they are in your face, tell them how much you think it's selfish that a mother could be away from her child all day long and then be tired at night to play with them or too busy with housework on the weekend to pay attention to them. This usually shuts up the one or two "know it alls" when they comment about me being a SAHM. It's none of their business anyway. Truthfully, if more mom's stayed home with their kids, today's youth wouldn't be in the mess that they are! xox

Jennifer - posted on 07/08/2010

It is feminism that makes other women look down on stay at home mothers. That and guilt. You are doing the right thing!!!

Maria Celestina - posted on 07/08/2010

Being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job on earth. You don't just take care of your son's hygiene-but you also need to assure of his health and establish good manners. You are not being lazy you are just being a responsible mom that's why you're staying with your son instead of leaving him for work.
Try to add up other activities that will uplift your motherhood experience. Acquire skills that you can do while you're taking care of your son. :)

Naomi - posted on 07/08/2010

I just recently became a SAHM to my two boys. My husband and I previously split childcare duties due to me working part-time in the mornings and him working the afternoon/evening shift. He lost his job while I was pregnant with our second, accepted a position that was day shift hours, and began his job while I was on maternity leave. After looking at the cost of childcare, we made the decision for me to stay at home with the boys because childcare would have been most of my salary, with the increased costs of going back to work eating up the rest of it.

In my time being home with my two boys, I have worked harder than I ever did at my job. Being a SAHM mom is not for the faint of heart, and it is a job you don't get a break from! But it is by far the most rewarding job I'll ever find.

Tenneille - posted on 07/08/2010

Because they are narrow minded, jealous or dont know how hard it is. Feminists did us women no favours making us get careers just to have to give them up and then make us feel bad for it. I have won with being a stay at home mum and working an amazing skin care business from home. I will never work for a boss again and wont miss out on the most important moments watching my children grow up.

Rachelle - posted on 07/08/2010

I hadn't realized people frowned upon SAHM's. I am a stay at home mom and everyone I know, thinks it's great. I admire those who do stay at home with their little ones. Women who have no choice but to work always say they wish they could stay home with their little ones. All I can imagine, is that you have ran across some jealous people who wish they could afford to stay home, but cannot and try to make you feel bad about it, because they do.

Mothering is the most important job any of us will do. In turn, I do not judge working mothers. I have heard some mothers say, "I love to work. I do not like staying home with my kids, they would drive me nuts. I drop them off at daycare and when I come to pick them up at the end of the day, I miss them and appreciate them so much more than I would have if I had stayed home with them resenting being there."

There is no wrong or right mothering. It is personal and what ever works for you.

Gina - posted on 07/08/2010

Staying at home with your son IS the best thing for him. Stay at home mums are NOT lazy!! I don't stop from 6am til gone 8pm normally. How is bathing, feeding, playing, cleaning, cooking, running errands lazy? Sometimes I'd rather be at work just for the break... and the pay!

I'll be staying at home with my daughter until she's 2-3 when she'll go to nursery to get her used to mixing with different children and going to school, unless we need the money and I have to go back to work. But my husband works hard so that I can stay home and look after our daughter.

What is the point in having children if you're just going to palm them off onto other people to look after?? Children learn the most in their first 2 years and parents should be there to teach and care for them.

As someone else has said, the people who are getting at you are just jealous! :)

Jill - posted on 07/08/2010

I think you need to be very clear when you communicate with these people, that you're putting your children first and that's what mum's do...studies show that children thrive best with one consistent caregiver especially boys which helps them to develop fulfilling relationships later in life....I think you say that we all have priorities and that when you're ready and the children are ready that will be the time you go back to work. But with an increasing unemployment situation and economic situation which doesn't support working mums with childcare costs and not all employers offer flexible working you might as well just sit it out...do what you're meant to do and look after your children because as a mum that is what you've got to do.....ask these people if they'd be willing to share the childcare if you got a shift job and see how often they ask then!!

Heidi - posted on 07/07/2010

How horrifying that you are getting this sort of feedback! I have been a sahm for more than 5 years now and have never gotten anything but positive support and great feedback for the positive thing we are doing for our children. There should be more sahms, if you can afford to do it you should, no question... Anyway who gives a stuff what anyone else thinks anyway. You do what is right for you and your babies.

Evie - posted on 07/07/2010

I'm a stay at home Mum and it is a choice because I want to give my kids the very best. I am not having a dig at working Mums but its a fact that if you do too much you can't do everything to the very best of your ability, its just not possible. Even my husband has a go at me and thinks in this day and age I should be working. If it feels right to you then stick to it and ignore everyone else. Being a mother is the most important job in the word...and the hardest!

Elyssa - posted on 07/07/2010

ever wondered why it costs so much money to put your kid in daycare? because it's HARD WORK! don't let anyone tell you that you're being lazy by staying at home and raising your children... call me old fashioned but I firmly believe that, unless absolutely NECESSARY, the mothers place is at home nurturing and raising her children. and by necessary I mean having to work to put food on the table and lights on in the house... not making it so you can have high speed internet or satalite tv... I mean honestly, at the end of your life, do you want to say that you had a bunch of money and success at your job, or do you want to be able to say that you have an amazing relationship with your children??? I know what my answer is. I have nothing against working mothers, I just think that would want to think twice about my priorities in life if I was ever given that choice. I think that a lot of working moms find an escape at work... it's easier than being at home with their kids and dealing with the issues and problems that arise at home. Raising children is hard work, but is by far the most rewarding "job" that I have ever had! Don't let yourself get discouraged by what other people say... do what you know is best for you and your son!

Laura - posted on 07/07/2010

Hi there. I haven't even read the other posts, but I was outraged at reading what people have said to you. First of all if you can afford to stay home it's nobody's business what you decide to do in your life. But what is more important I think that if we had more stay at home mothers we would have less societal problems. Too many kids are left in the care of non family members and families go through life with a constant sense of stress; mornings are a nightmare because mum has to try to get herself ready and the kids, afternoons are even worst because she has to rush out of the office to pick them up from school or after school clubs and maybe rush of to an activity, comes dinner time mother is exhausted and has little or no patient to spend some quality time with the children. I personally think that if money isn't an issue it's better to have a little less of it and to have more quality time as a family. I made the decision to stay at home, I miss work, but I wouldn't take away my time and attention from my children. And I have never had any negative comments. Maybe, for some reason, deep down you feel guilty for your decision, if so try to understand why and stop thinking you have to justify yourself with others. It's your life, it's your son so do what you feel is best for you two!

Julia - posted on 07/07/2010

Hey :) I'm a stay at home mom as well, and I've met people that thought that i was uneducated and that's why i couldn't get a job... You should have seen their faces when i told them i am an interior designer and photographer that decided to stay home because my child was more important than any "fulfilling experience" i might have had in any career. My mom's generation went to work, and i never hear her complain about missing out on career opportunities- she complains about missing out on spending more time with me, and tells me how much closer to my grandma (who took care of me) i was when i was little. I want more than that. Our job is not easy, starts early and ends late, but it's far more meaningful to me than all the recognition in the world. I'll have enough time to do more when she grows up.(if i want to- might just stay here, i love it) Keep up the good work, and don't mind them, they are the ones in the wrong side of the road :)
Julia

Brooke - posted on 07/07/2010

My husband tells me I just get to have fun all day, so I truly don't think he understands everything I do. Yes, I get to do lots of fun things with the kids, but I also do a lot of work and get very few breaks!

Crystal - posted on 07/07/2010

Because its 2010 and people are IDIOTS!!!! Do you know how much $$$$$$$ u are saving a month?? A YEAR?!?!?!?! I get PISSED about this!!! I have been a stay at home mom since I was 7 1/2 month prego w our 1st daughter who is now over 3!!! We have another now also, almost 2!!! We MAKE IT work!!! It can be done!!! Just tell people its NONE of their business!!!!!!!!!!! I always felt guilty, but my husband is always sooooooo supportive. He is like WE made this choice!! He works his A$$ off so I can stay home and do what GOD wants me to do!!! I tried to do alllllll kinds of things to help out but nothing worked and then I prayed REALLY hard and now I have a in home daycare!!! =) I LOVE my job!!! NOTHING is better!!! Girl I will pray for you!! YOU ARE DOING WHAT IS BEST!!!!!! DON'T EVER DOUBT THAT!!! =)

Chanea - posted on 07/07/2010

they're HATERSSS!!!!!!!!!! lol when "they" start pushing check's under the door then i might try to think about there opinions until then they can all kiss my stretch marks all of them every last one

Shannon - posted on 07/07/2010

I am a stay at home mom. And I love it, I havent gotten any slack for it ( yet anyways) but if someone does they got something else coming to them..I will not allow someone else to raise my child when I am quite capable of doing it and we get buy just fabulous with one income and my hubby wanted me to stay home with the baby. Im sure there are good daycares out there and good people to watch children but I rather not take the chance is putting my child into a situation where she will be neglected or abuse. I have seen alot of crap on tv about daycares and home daycares and no thanks its not for me. I can stay home and raise my child how we want her to be raised. Plus why should I go to work and put her in daycare when daycare can be so expensive. So what go to work just to pay for daycare??? no thanks. My lil princess is fine at home with her mommy where she should be!

Casandra - posted on 07/07/2010

I actually got alot of grief from my sons father about staying at home. It annoyed the heck out of me, to the point that I unhappily got an overnight PT job and now he is trying to force a daytime FT job on me and I hate the idea of sending my son somewhere to be raised while I make just enough money to send him to that place to be raised I'm not sure who thinks that makes sense or why they think that but they need to get over it. Now I do work the overnight PT job but I get to keep the little bit of money I make and spend it on my and my son on the 5 days i'm not working to go to the park, take him shopping, go to the beach etc.

Oh and I love the people that say, because my son is attached to me (he is BF and i'm SAH) I need to put him in day care. I'm like thats what play dates are for.

Michelle - posted on 07/07/2010

I have gotten grief about it too...and really its no ones business, its between you and your husband. My mother in law was the biggest one to down me for staying home, and I have heard "lazy" and "JUST" a mom more than once. The people who say these things are probably jealous and have certainly never been a sahm so they have noo clue what its all about. You ARE doing whats best for your son, hands down! I have been home for over 6 years and cant imagine doing anything else. I get asked all the time if I ever get bored....ya right, with a 6 year old and a 1.5 year old and a husband I am anything but bored! Staying home isnt for everyone, or every family, but if it works for you and it works for your family than so be it, your babies are only little for a short time. :) Enjoy every minute of being at home. And eventually the BS will stop. My mil finally has seen that I AM busy, Im not lazy, and my kids are happy. ♥

Sheila - posted on 07/07/2010

It was my husband's idea for me to be a SAHM. He frequently tells me that he wishes I was the one who had the higher income potential because he would have loved to spend more time with the kids when they were little and have a more flexible schedule. I think those that put SAHMs down feel the same way. A percentage have no idea what it takes because they've never done it. The first 6 weeks at home with a newborn is nothing like having a toddler and a baby, or elementary and preschool kids at the same time. I always adopt a sickeningly sweet giggle and say "that's funny because I don't know how you take your precious babies to some underpaid stranger every day. And I'm sure its hard to get home in the evenings and have to prepare to do it again the next day, after working all day, you have no time at all for yourself or your kids." That usually gives them pause! I do respect working parents and I do wonder how they get it all done, but the claws will come out when I'm being criticized for this healthy lifestyle choice. But to be sure, there are plenty of moms who do tell me that they would love to but can't financially, or were just really unhappy or overworked when they tried it. I have no less respect for them either.

Meghan - posted on 07/07/2010

plan and simple they couldn't do what u do on a GOOD day!! everyone thinks that takin care of children is the easiest thing in the world... i work in a daycare when i leave there im soooooo tried now i have a 3 month old and although she doesn't do much that doesn't stopp the fact that i have to make bottles and change dipers and cook dinner and clean the house u tell those ppl to try doin what u do for just a few dayz and then tell me how easy it is !!!

Ticia - posted on 07/07/2010

girl i know what you mean.. but who cares what anyone else thinks or says..you do what's best for your family an thats what matters!! i could care less about being frowned upon for staying home with my daughter, i love my life as a stay at home mom an taking care of my family!!! that's what comes first for me...an as did for my mom an her mother before her it takes a certain kinda strong willed big hearted women to devote her life to her kid or kids..you give up alot to be a stay at home mom but you get so much more in place of whatever you gave up!!!! i've lost a friend for being so non-understanding of me wanting a family life but it's there loss not yours!!! be happy you have all the joys an craziness of motherhood !!!!!! i'd never change a thing...well except have themgrow up a bit slower...lol!!!

Ann - posted on 07/07/2010

I worked in child care for years when I was younger; that is precisely why we waited until we could afford for me to stay home before we had our daughter. Our daughter will be 3 in a few weeks. She is extremely active, very mischievous, & just can't be left alone for a second. I kill myself trying to get things done around the house! My husband is very hands on & he sees it too. We had to have his sister spend the day at the park with her just so we could take down our fence & do a few projects around the house lol. People rarely say things like that to me...they see just how rambunctious she is & they know I couldn't be lazy & manage to keep us both out of the ER LMAO! Tell people to mind their own business! On the few occasions some one has made a comment, I told them just what I thought...that they were simply feeling envious because I was blessed to be able to be my child's primary caregiver & they felt the need to try to cut me down to make them feel better about their own decisions/situations. There is nothing wrong with being an ambitious woman & choosing to have a career & be a mom (my mom did it & she was an amazing mother). ...BUT there certainly isn't anything wrong with making your child your career either!