Why do people frown upon stay-at-home moms?

Kathy - posted on 07/07/2010

And honestly - since when is it traditionally the womans job to bring home the bacon? Tell that lazy MAN to get off HIS ass and get a better job so you can stay home!!!

Janine - posted on 07/07/2010

I think those people should mind their own buissness...im a stay at home mom also and my opion is that i didnt have children so someone else can raise them:)

Janet - posted on 07/07/2010

Do not listen to other people. Find other SAHMs to associate with and to learn from. A good place to find them is at the library. Most SAHMs use library programs for their children. I also used a church based Moms Morning Out program. I met a lot of other SAHMs there. It helps to have people who understand and encourage you. You are doing what is best for you and your family. Do not let anyone else tell you that you are wrong. I have been lucky in that my husband allowed me to stay home for so long. Our daughters are now teenagers and I am working on a new direction and career for myself. I am so glad that I have stayed home and helped mold my children into young women that anyone would be proud of. They are polite, intelligent and loving. I thank God every day for blessing me with them and with an understanding husband. God's Blessings to you as you raise your son to be the young man he is to be.

Terri - posted on 07/07/2010

I love being at home. My 3 kids are the better for it. I wouldn't trade anything for the chance to raise my own kids. It is my calling in life!

Cindy - posted on 07/07/2010

I have been a SAHM since my oldest was born 13 yrs ago. I did work for a little while at his school before my little one was born. I get crap from my sisters-in-law about me staying home and even my hubby's ex. The truth is that I don't have any problems with moms who work outside the home, this was just the best option for our family. When I was growing up, my mom didn't have a choice (she was a single parent), but my brother and I were watched by my Uncle, Grandmother, and Great-Grandmother. I just try to ignore what people say because I know what is best for my family.

Kim - posted on 07/07/2010

People who have never done the SAHM job always see us as "lazy people" since we don't have a typical "9-5 office job". I have been a SAHM for many years and I get burned out from time to time (as any other SAHM) and I still hear the phrases "you don't do anything around here", "you don't have a job, so why should you get a break?" and it's frustrating. Do some research and find some groups for SAHMs!

Leslie - posted on 07/07/2010

Staying at home is one of the hardest jobs in the entire world. People who give you flack are the people who are either envious or can't cut it. I LOVE being a SAHM, it is the greatest thing ever! I am perfectly capable of caring for my son and my husband loves the fact that I am instilling our values and not someone else's into him.

Jennifer - posted on 07/07/2010

Im a stay at home mum to two little girls aged 3 and 1, being at home with them is the most rewarding thing in the world and i know how lucky i am to be with them, but its also the HARDEST job in the world, there r no "tea breaks "(not even a chance to go to the toilet sometimes lol) my friend is a full - time teacher and we appreciate eachother, she said she could never cope with being at home 24/7 with her little ones. We r all different and people shouldn't judge, im giving my little ones a great start by educating them and playing with them and seeing all the firsts that they do. I appreciate some mums have to work and theres nothing wrong with that. But they shouldn't judge people and make asumptions!!!!!!

Sara - posted on 07/07/2010

Being a stay-at-home-mom is the hardest job in the world. I don't get a lot of flack anymore but I have in the past, and I hear ya, it's so frustrating to be looked down upon. I live in a neighborhood that is mostly "working" moms and occasionally I get the whole "what do you guys DO all day?" and "I'd go insane staying home w/ the kids ALL day." I usually pretend not to hear the remarks so I don't blow up at them.
My own MIL is very unsupportive of my staying at home and makes her opinion very known. She was a "working" mom and she believes both parents should help bring home the bacon (and apparently having a stranger raise her grandkids as opposed to her "lazy" DIL.) I chalk a lot of this negativity towards SAHMs to jealousy, though I'm sure if each of these "working" moms did the math seriously to see that having 2 and 3 or more kids in daycare costs most of their salary they'd stay home too.
I agree w/ the moms who said get a support group of SAHM's. These moms know what you're going through and most importantly share your values. Being home w/ my kids while they are young is so important and I know I'll never regret this decision, and I love being able to always be there for my kids no matter what.:)

Michele - posted on 07/07/2010

Well, before I had my children I thought stay-at-home moms had it made. My hushand and I had decided I would stay home with the kids until they went to school full time. I can not believe how hard this job is. I used to work a pretty hard stressfull job, working 13-14 hour days 6-7 days a week and there are somedays I wished I was back there. At least then I got a break. Now there is almost never a break. Lazy? Hell no! There seems like you can never get caught up. Not mention trying to do it with very little sleep. You not only have to take care of your children, but you have to teach them everything they need to know before they go to school. These are the things the mothers that work outside the home have daycare to do. Daycare takes care of the children; as well as, prepares them for school. If anyone ever saids you need to pull your weight, just member this, you are more than pulling your fair share and then some. Raising good, productive human beings full time is not an easy job.

Arina - posted on 07/07/2010

It's nice to know there're women soo far away but still facing same prejudice. I started getting questions once my daughter turned 3 months. At first the questions were subtle, more like "what r your plans for the future..", now they r just plain rude like "how do u not get bored" nd "rn't u afraid your brains will go mashed potatoes" nd "trust me your husband will loose his respect for u nd won't look for your opinion".. AND not once have i heard that from a man friend or a husband of a friend, all those mean comments are from women! So I suppose they are jealous women who can't afford to stay home or maybe their husbands are too stingy to support them. Anyhow IGNORE those people or better, tell them in detail what a wonderful life u re having don't make them feel sorry for you telling about the diapers and the housework, you are having the best time of your life! Too bad they can't afford to do the same! And now, ladies don't kill me,)) I have a nanny/maid situation and I really am having the best time of my life! Enjoying every moment with my daughter and leaving the least liked chores to my helper.

Ginny - posted on 07/07/2010

I think the only thing that can be said here is that no matter what choices you make, you're always going to have people who think you're making the wrong decision. There are plenty of people out there who turn their noses up at working moms too. You make your decisions based on what's best for your family, and be comfortable with your choices. Then be prepared to remind yourself that your choices are nobody else's business!

Jane - posted on 07/07/2010

I have heard that all my life. I'm 60 yrs. old now and have stayed home with my children all theirs lives. Don't be swayed. Remember that your son is the most important blessing you have, besides your husband of course. Why is it good to watch children, as long as they aren't your own and have a boss as long as it isn't your husband or your God. Your are a stay at home mom to take care of your husband and children not to be taken care of. You have children so that you can nurture them. I didn't give up my life for my children but dedicated my life to them. Besides all that have you checked out the cost of childcare lately? Maybe that's the problem, that to some raising our children has become about money.

Bonnie - posted on 07/07/2010

Sorry to hear you're getting so many negative reactions. I haven't gotten the lazy comment yet, but I do get raised eyebrows...since I'm "losing out on my teaching salary". I want to raise them and see them grow everyday, so I decided to stay at home with my little ones. I've heard people say they could never afford to, love their jobs too much...etc. It is a personal choice! You need to do what is best for your family. That's it. I wonder what these people would say if SAHM's started making wise cracks about how selfish working parents are. I don't think commenting negatively is appropriate for either side. Enjoy the time you have with your son! Life is too short.

Camille - posted on 07/07/2010

People (especially mothers) who frown at the thought of staying at home with the kids are SELFISH. You can't have children to "throw" them to be raised by someone else. It is the responsibility of one of the parents (almost always the mother stays home) to stay home with them. I respect moms who work but I wouldn't miss being involved in everything my daughters do. I get tired sometimes especially when they scream and fight. Not having the financial freedom to have nicer things and struggling to make ends meet are a downside but raising them is the main priority. People have asked me what I will do when they grow up and go to college, marry and begin a family, if I'm not going to feel like crap, alone, and that I missed out on life. I tell them: NO!!!! When they get that age I'll still be young to work or to do something else. I never missed every little thing. I was there when they took their first steps, when they said their first word. Shaping the life of a person, teaching, educating, and giving love is an awesome endeavor :-) When they grow up and be great women, I'll be the one to feel thankful for that!

Yhomaira - posted on 07/07/2010

I tell you why because I went through it. Its because people cant stay shut!!!! There fucking envious so if I'm you which I was is ignore thats the most perfect thing you will do if you do it. Think about your son not about others. See its not being lazy as long as your there with your son and you dont have him with strangers and your helping out cleaning the house and cooking hey your doing fine. Unless your and your hurting for money than fine look for a job. If not your doing fine. I am working because I dont like depending on my men. He has his own business he doesn't want me working nor going to school and because I have a daughter I am going to do it. It sucks not being with her sometimes thats why I prefer working part time. Well good luck and trust if you dont ignore your going to the wrong road ignore.

Rachael - posted on 07/07/2010

i feel bad for staying home too i get the same crap. the thing is i really dont know why...

Danielle - posted on 07/07/2010

I actually find that these comments come from parents who don't want or can't stay home with their kids because they can't handle it...so they needs to take their jealousy out on the ones who are raising the children they chose to have. I'm a stay at home mom of 5...two are now grown, and three still at home (10, 9 and 4) AND homeschooled...and you would not believe the grief I get for that....when most people don't even realize why we HAVE to school our children at home. Just ignore them and surround yourself with positive people. You are doing right for your son...and you have the most important job in the world right now...you are giving him his mommy 24/7..what greater gift can you give your child? I also happen to be a childcare provider..and I love it...but I do believe that for ME..staying home with MY kids in the best choice we could have made for them.

Barbara - posted on 07/07/2010

You have the full-time job of being a Mother and you also have a job. That makes you MORE productive than all those complainers. Don't let their comments bother you. They are obviously ignorant to the fact that being a SAHM is actually more work than having an office job.

Lea - posted on 07/07/2010

WOW, I don't know who your friends are, or maybe my friends are just whispering it behind my back, but HOW could they say you were being LAZY? It is a BUSY job in itself to be a stay at home mom. Children do not just lie there and do what you want them to do all day long. They keep you running around the home all day long! Plus, when you are a stay at home mom, dad expects dinners cooked, laundry done and everything to look clean when they get home. Before I had my son and both my husband and I worked, we shared most of the household chores. I now am responsible for about 90% of them. When you child is a baby and waking up all hours of the night, you don't have to go to work the next morning, so YOU are feeding him and putting him back to bed. Then there STILL is no sleeping in, because your baby is an early riser and needs fed again. Even as a toddler, they wake up early (at least mine does) and we need to cook breakast, lunch, prepare a snack, all in between household chores and keeping your eye on a busy toddler.

I would not EVER change what I did though. Because I think it was addressed in an earlier post... daycare costs are almost as much as one persons salary these days. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT? Have a stranger raise my baby, to please this new society? If society thinks I am lazy then let them think that... SMH..... There was a time where ALL women stayed at home, Now that we get the choice of one or the other we get berated for picking the old fashioned of the 2 choices? I dont think so....

Kitty - posted on 07/07/2010

I have had some of those backhanded comments like "what do you do all day?" They don't rea;ize how busy our days are. I went back to work after our first one because i had too, but after we had our second one i stayed at home. by far staying home in harder and more time consuming but the rewards are much greater and i would not change my mind. i wish i had had this oppertunity with our first.

Cathy - posted on 07/07/2010

Spending time with your son is the most precious thing in the world:) People are entitled to their own opinions.Don't be bothered by it. What matters is what makes you happy.

Mary-Ann - posted on 07/07/2010

I get, oh you are so lucky you can afford to stay home, how do you stay home all the time, I would go crazy without my work. We rent a house and we have one car, we don't shop in boutiques or high end stores. We live middle of the rod lives and we are happy. I love that I am teaching my child and she doesn't have another adults influences in her life daily just yet. Now is the time to instill your values. join babycenter.com if in the US or babycener.ca if in Canada, I'm on ther Canadian site and love it. I get to talk with lots of stay at home moms and working moms. Those who say things like like you are lazy and such are jealous. A few working parents my DH woeks with constantly wonder how we do it. How do we manage to have me stay at home in such an expensive city. Well, we cut out certain luxuries, we are willing to make the sacrifices they weren't so I can raise our kids. My DD is 3 and we have one on the way and neither of us would change it for the world.

Gretchen - posted on 07/07/2010

I'm sure there are many reasons why people lean towards frowning on stay home Moms, but the truth of the matter is that God designed it to be this way, no matter how much society tries to change the structure of family for whatever the reasons, There is blessing in staying home & raising your own children that benefits the entire family. Most people to not have the opprotunity to stay home with their children mainly for financial reasons, my guess is that the majority of working Moms are down deep jealous because they cannot do the same thing. Remember God is watching and He is the boss that oversees your role, He expects you to be a good steward with your children to run your home & family as if it were your job. Now if the static you are getting from your Husband, examine how well you are doing your job, it only matters how you both feel, not your friends & family.

Pamela - posted on 07/07/2010

being a stay at home mom is a 24/7 job and it takes a lot of work you don't get time to be lazy I've been a stay at home mom for almost 2 yrs now and i keep having people tell me i should put my oldest in day care and to do the same with the youngest when he's old enough and get a real job but i think its better that they learn right and wrong at home in my eyes its the first step to having a trusting lifelong relationship with your kids

Tina - posted on 07/07/2010

First, being a stay at home mom IS the best thing you can do for your child!!!! As long as your husband is okay w/ you being home with your child/children, do not listen to what other say!!! As a stay at home mom, I do a lot to contribute to the finances, maybe not bring homeht ebacon,t aht's what my husband is for, but I to our budget, etc. I raise my kids!! I eduacte them, play w/ them, and tend to them! yet all the hard work WE don't get paid!!! You are NOT lazy to stay home,and even if you find that those days you are laxy and do ni=othing...IT'S OKAY!!! YOUR INTITED like anyone else!!! I have too come across some peopel who looked down at me, yet I cna care less abotu them because of the need for socail status, something us hard working stay at home mom's DO NOT NEED!! Good luck!! Just remember, if you are fortunate enough to stay home w/ your child, the suck up that joy of watching your child grow before YOUR eyes and not someone else's!!!

Nicole-lyn - posted on 07/07/2010

What has happened to society....days of old we were all brought up by stay home homes, before times really started to get tuff.....and if you were a single mom (dad) the granny or nana would be our stay home mom, Heck i grew up just fine......

Diana - posted on 07/07/2010

I can understand the feeling! When our special needs daughter was born, I was with her every moment I was not in the kitchen, laundry, grocery shopping ( the three went with, of course). I missed out on a lot of our second son's development because of all the time I needed to nurture the baby. Fortunately, his older brother (6 years older) became his best friend from the time he was about 2 years of age. He taught him to read at 4 years old. It took a lot of convincing communication to my husband that he needed to help me so that I would have the energy and desire to spend time with him. If that doesn't work try a marriage course (like the Dynamic Marriage course). Husbands need to be more involved with their kids and love for the wife means showing it in the home. You are servants together. Domestic help is a love need.

Kristin - posted on 07/07/2010

That is crap is all I have to say to that!! I am a stay at home mom as well. It is not an easy job to do and is very important. I was raised by a stay at home Mom and I think kids benefit from it.

Desirae - posted on 07/07/2010

BECAUSE: There are too many "stay at home moms" who don't do anything but keep their kids alive and think their job is done WHEN IN FACT there are other stay at home moms who get up before their husbands, have a cup of coffee ready to hand them as they walk into the kitchen, breakfast on the table, and a lunch packed for him to take to work.
Then, you prepare for the children to wake up... You have their breakfast ready (or for the whole family if Dad hasn't had to leave yet, that varies for us) manage to sit down and see what everyone wants to do that day and magically a plan forms in your head.

You clean up breakfast while thinking about what you need to get together for today's adventure (which may sadly and simply be a trip to the grocery store with a 3 mo old or a trip to the beach promised to a 6 yr old, or a drive across town with a teenager. I'm gonna go with the 6 year old for my example.)
You give your 6 year old a list of things to gather for their little adventure as you both see dad out the door... while your child is gathering their things you are cleaning up the evidence from last nights movie night... Your child walks into where you just finished cleaning and drops a pile of things they really don't need to bring with them at your feet, so, you negotiate down to what you know you can carry when they get tired of carrying it. You get them to pack it into a beach bag while you put the rest away, only to come back into the living room to re-pack it so you can fit what you really do need in the car... not to mention the 1/2 hour search for the swimsuit and another 1/2 hour for the favorite towel or toy. You get the car packed and realize that it is now 11:40 and you know you are soon to hear, "Mom... when is lunch?" You have a quick decision to make... Do I pack a lunch, or do we have lunch and pack snacks... either way this is turning into a pain in the ass and you never even made it to the beach. Don't forget for one second that you will in no way have a relaxing time at the beach. First off you will be too busy making sure your child does not get in over their head so to say. Talking them down from a frantic state when a big kid kicks down what was supposed to be the biggest sand castle they ever made. Applying sunscreen... re-applying sunscreen, and again, and again... Finding a way to either eat that lunch or snack without washing down a pound of sand with their drinks, which you realize you don't have enough of so on the way to find a few things like fresh water and ice cream you drop what you can off at the car.
You look at the clock in the car... shit! It's 3:30! "But Mooooom, we've only been here a little while..." You compromise again using ice cream as a weapon of choice so you can swing by the store to pick up the last few things for dinner. You get the kids in the car while you have them talked into it... hit the DQ drive through, and realize when you get to the grocery store that your suit made you look like you are the one who wets your pants, and you use your kids suit to wash the ice cream off of everything, beat the sand off of them with a towel, and hold up a bigger towel for a changing station so you can go into the grocery store without looking like a mom who lets their kid get away with anything and everything. You finally get the last few things for dinner... get to the car... get to the house... have your kid help you carry things in while you grab the groceries and get dinner started so it will be on the table and ready to eat when dad gets home. You have dinner going smoothly only to turn around and find that you kid did in fact carry everything in... GREAT! It is stretched from one end of the living room to the other with ice cream and sand all over it. You give your kid a pass to play outside in the yard while you try to clean the ice cream off the door, put everything away, get anything fabric you used into the washer, find more ice cream stuck to the bottom of your favorite pair of sandals with part of the cone squished into the carpet. Check on dinner, things are still ok... start vacuuming up the sand, have to talk your child out of the fridge and back out into the yard, finish vacuuming up sand, realize you still look like you peed your pants when your bladder is screaming at you for not stopping to even try all day. Turn the oven/stove off, run to the bathroom for the first time today, find a change of clothes, just in time to set the table, get your kid in the house... make sure they are washed up properly (because you know at this point it will not get done on it's own) and make them play in the house for 20-30 min while you frantically finish dinner so it's on the table when dad get's home. The car pulls into the drive, dad is home. You greet dad at the door, he drops his dirty lunch box at the door and takes off his shoes and heads to clean up for dinner. While dad is cleaning up for dinner you let your kid get out the silverware just so you have them busy enough not to realize that you are cleaning up whatever they were just playing with and pout over it. Dinner is the best and most relaxing time of the day for me... it lasts about 15 min. Then dad veges out to the tv/computer and my daughter goes back out the door to play with a friend while I stay in the kitchen and wash dishes, put food away, and mop up the sticky floor where the milk was spilled for the thousandth time. THEN... I have time to switch those clothes over to the dryer, put the clean ones away, feed the cats, water the plants, get everything for bath time so I am not looking for it at 7:30 which I realize is only minutes away anyways... Get my daughter back into the house and in the shower (making sure she actually rinses her hair) ready for bed, say goodnight to her daddy, go in and listen to her read a book, which puts us both to sleep and around the time the news is on, my husband wakes me up and says in a whisper, "Hey... she's asleep... come on, let's go to bed. Why are you so tired? What did you do all day?" ...and I am too tired to tell him where to go.

That is a more accurate stay at home mom job description if you ask me... at least, that was my day yesterday.

Nicole-lyn - posted on 07/07/2010

What madness is that!. Don't people know that Stay home Moms have alot to do......we are also wives, housekeeper, doctors, teachers, gardeners..etc. It is a great decision to stay home with your child is you can. While supporting your husband while he is hard at work. We also know how to live on a budget and make the best outof what we have....at the same time training our children to be well grounded individuals to life in this type of world....where no one really cares about you but for themselves!!!

Deena - posted on 07/07/2010

HI there! Well let me put it this way, opinions are like _______ everyone has one! Please don't listen at all to what they are saying. Now, I have to admit, I WAS one of those people who used to say things like "If 'they' have money problems why doesn't SHE (meaning the mom) get off her butt and work?" I used to 'think' that and say that to my hubby about other people BEFORE I was a mom and when I busted my butt to go through college and was very career driven. Honestly, I would have never said that to anyone ever but I thought it.

I can honestly say that back then it was jealousy. Here I was working 60 hour weeks trying to justify the money I spent on my education and I worked for decent pay but it was not rewarding, it was exhausting, my house was in disarray and we had no family just us. I was jealous of the freedoms my friends had from no deadlines from work, no being told WHEN to do this or that. AND, I thought being at home was the easy way out and that it wasn't work.

Well, then I became a mommy. When I was pregnant I just KNEW I was going to be a rockin' working mom. NOT! The MINUTE she was born my life changed! This work was HARDER than any other 60 hour week job I had in the past! It was STRESSFUL trying to figure out why she cried so much etc and it was tiring waking up and being responsible 24 hours. But it was REWARDING and AMAZING! The BEST job ever! She is now 3 and now I have a 9 month old boy. I am on a journey now with my own business to bring myself HOME to my kids.

I work at home now but still have to put them in daycare becasue of the professional requirements of this role. Travel, conference calls, long hours. Yes I'm at home but the calls are non-stop, the work is long and hard. My goal is in 6 months to replace my income with my Homemade Gourmet business and come home to the kids.

So I can tell you, they are 'seething' with jealousy, it is dripping off of their lips! Even though they may not admit it or say that's not it, it is the truth.

Not everyone is the same, so some people that have the best kids in the world, the baby that never cries the terrific two year old, MAY think that it is easy. But remember, they only see their child for 2 hours a night during the week and two days on the weekend. Their experience with their child is different than yours. So ignorance is driving what they are saying.

So are you really going to listen to ignorance? And yes, I realize that I am calling the OLD me an ignorant, jealous, woman! It took walking in a mom's shoes to realize what it means to be a SAHM. And they are not lazy! I was laid off last year and I used to joke that I had no more time to get a job I was so busy! I LOVE it and I'm trying to get home again.

Good luck to you, be like your kids, start having some selective hearing ;-)

Dana - posted on 07/07/2010

Just tell them you admire them for working. It takes a tough woman to work and let go of control to allow others to raise their children. Don't let them get you down. But staying positive when they are hounding you will give them an un expected twist. Don't get all caught up in their drama...that is exactly what they want you to do. :O)

Elizabeth - posted on 07/07/2010

i get the same thing... but i dont let it bother me, i know im doing whats best for my daughter and me n thats all that counts....

Victoria - posted on 07/07/2010

I am 54 years old now and was right on the cusp of women going back to work and continuing to work throughout their children's childhoods and beyond. The one stipulation I had when I started my family was that I was not going to ship my kids off somewhere for somebody else to raise. I took a LOT of flack from women who went back to work when their babies were small, and who thought I should have to as well. Women diminished me as JUST a stay at home mom, whereas they were building their careers and buying larger homes that they HAD to continue working to support. To me it made no sense to have children to hand them off. As time went by I watched marriages fail and kids who had a disconnect, as well as all sorts of problems. The parents spoiled them out of guilt, and tried to make up for their absence by overscheduling them in sports and other activities. I knew where my kids were and who they were with, and I have zero regrets as far as my choice to stay home. They didn't have EVERYTHING, but they did have ME. My adult children thank me today for my input in their lives.

Laura - posted on 07/07/2010

It society! Sixty to seventy years ago you would have been frowned on if you wanted to work out of the home and have a career. Since then it's become antifeminist to want to stay home and "just" raise a family and be a good wife. My advice is join a playgroup or book club or something to get you out of the house at least twice a week. My son is one and our playgroup meets during the day so the other moms tend to be fellow sahm. It's also nice because they aren't family or close friends who will pick at your faults. They only see you for two hours a week plus Drake gets to make little friends his age.

Catherine - posted on 07/07/2010

I don't understand why people get crap from staying at home with your kids. I stay at home with my kids. I don't trust anybody to watch them. I think it's better for a mom to stay home with your kids especially your babies it gives you time to bond with them, besides who's better qualified to take care of your kids but you. If you want to stay home with your kids then stay home with them,let your husbands or boyfriends work, but whoever says being a mom and taking care of a house isn't considered work obviously has never been a mom or took care of kids!

Kara - posted on 07/07/2010

Tell them to hush up. I stay at home with both of my children, both under the age of two and there is nothing lazy going on. Between laundry, feedings, baths, cleaning entertaining ect. I hardly have 5 minutes to sit down and watch something besides mickey mouse. Studies have shown that from birth to 3 years is a childs bonding time with there mother. I recommend reading a book called Bringing up Boys by Doctor James Dobson. His book Bringing up Girls really opened my eyes. Its christian based, I dont agree with EVERYTHING but you take the good with the bad, and most of what he says is proven. What your doing is in no way wrong. :)

Robiah - posted on 07/07/2010

I am not much different from you. I quit my job 6 years ago just to be with my kids and shower them with all the love and neccessities. I also share the same view as you that being a full time mom is the best though somtimes really test my patience...the emotional roller coaster is getting worse when your loved one accuse you of being demotivated and loser as the other party is feeling the pinch of extra burden to provide for the family especially with the current economic situation...I guess, we have to ignore the guilt feeling and concentrate on what we are doing...mean time look for option to find work from home basis...

Danielle - posted on 07/07/2010

I wonder how many complements you've gotten for staying at home? Most of it is generational in my opinion. My mother and mother-in-law think it's wonderful but on the other hand I have some friends who plan on going back to work after they have their baby. Some don't get an option. I believe it's usually because they don't understand your situation. Some come across arrogant because they are ignorant. If someone thinks it's ridiculous that you stay home just let them know it's what's best for your family and just think how much would you be paying for childcare! I was thinking of possibly getting a part time job but the cost of childcare is as much as what I would be making!

Tanya - posted on 07/07/2010

I have been a stay at home mom for 14 + years tell them that and they don't bother me. If they are so concerned that I get a job then tell them to write to the congressmen and ask for tax relief for dads the support stay at home mothers' decisons.

Tanya - posted on 07/07/2010

Stay at home if you enjoy it or work if you want to other people don't define you. Most of the time they are other moms that feel quilty that they spend so little time with theirs. Start journaling what you do in a day and tell them to walk a mile in your shoes. Most of us do more in a day than others do as a job.

Sandy - posted on 07/07/2010

Yep! Fiind a new set of friends. Try MOPS. they are an awesome group to get involved in.
Get out during the day and find other women with kids and talk to them. Staying at home is wonderful. You are raising your child, not a daycare worker that they are with 10 hours a day five days a week.

Marsha - posted on 07/07/2010

i have been lucky to have the best of both worlds. i have worked in the mental health field for 19 yrs ( i have a 10 y/o and a5y/o daughter) and currently am blessed to be a stay at home mom. i treasure the days i can eat lunch with my kids, not have to worry about productivity about missing time off work when they are sick, not being able to go on field trips with them right now and this is the first summer in 19 yrs i have been able to spend time with them all summer long, get up late, play and swim! i don't regret my time in the work place at all because i enjoy helping others and hope to be a sub in the school system this year to bring home some extra money but still be able to have a very flexible schedule to work when i want and be able to be with them when they have things to be done at school. i think people who give u crap could be jealous or they are not made to be stay at home moms. i think it is great if u r blessed to be able to do so. everyone is different. if you are happy, then ignore people who try and make you feel less than for being a stay at home mom

Penny - posted on 07/07/2010

ya i had that too. BUT what thay dont know is staying home taking care of your child and if your with someone them too. Its not easy, and alot of people dont understand that. Just do your thing and be happy for what you do. your son will thank you in alot of ways. mines 4 now and hes in school but im still hmoe to take care of him and he LOVES knowing im home keeping the house clean and ready for when he comes home :) because then all my time goes to him

Maggie - posted on 07/07/2010

i am not due until august but i get crap all the time because i am a house wife and soon to be sahm. mostly from my hubby's mother because she seems to think that daycare is the best route for my daughter. i don't want a wack job watching her for me i've heard and seen things on tv and the web about daycare staff shaking peoples kids to death because they wont quit crying. idk about you ladies but i would not want to carry a child for 9 months only to have her snatched from me by a nutter who can't handle a crying baby. i'm a proud soon to be stay at home mom and if people don't like it they can go to hell for all i care.

Melissa - posted on 07/07/2010

You need to be very proud of yourself! There is NOT a job out there harder than being a SAHM!!! I think the sacrifices that a family makes in order for one parent to stay at home and RAISE their children is AMAZING!!!!!
There is a christian program that I have really enjoyed....MOPS International (Mothers of preschoolers) just google MoPS International and you can find a location near you. It is a great way to connect with other SAHM that have wonderful faith.

Felicity - posted on 07/07/2010

Congratulations all you stay at home mums or any "stay at home parent"!. Insurance companies have now put a value on your work in raising a family and according to a report by the Australian Institute of Family Studies, have found that the value of a woman, aged 25-44 years, managing housework, shopping and looking after children was $45,617 per annum. Calculated over twenty years (without factoring in CPI) then it works out to be $912,340, not including the cost of raising and educating children. You are highly valuable to the wealth of your family overall, community and nation and now being officially recognised in some high places... so you are worth more than you probably could have ever imagined ... hold your head up and do the best you can with what you have- it is worth it!

Ginger - posted on 07/07/2010

Some Mommies that stay at home, are lazy. They don't get out of bed, take care of themselves or teach their children what they need to be learning during the day. They use the time to talk on the phone, shop or whatever they want to do and the kids are a sidekick. If someone is a stay at home Mom the house should be clean, laudry done, children taught and cared for. This is why stay at home Moms get frowned on. I am a stay at home Mom as well, but rest assured it is a blessing and luxury to be able to do so. It isn't something I take for granted. I make sure that when my husband comes home from a long day that he doesn't have to come home and do inside work, the children are already bathed and fed, and waiting to spend the rest of the evening talking and playing with Daddy. Some stay at Moms don't realize how truly blessed they are. If stay at home Moms are truly doing right by their husband, children, and home, there are typically no frowns and if their is it is only because someone else doesn't have that luxury.

Danielle - posted on 07/07/2010

Im a SAHM with a 19 month old and a 5 1/2 month old. Its a lot of work and dont let people tell you otherwise. Ask them to take over for you for a few days. Give them the never ending list of house chores, baby time, bathtime, feeding time for kids and hubby, and show them that if you get to relax at all during the day its the 5 minutes of peace you get when you jump in the shower, (if you were lucky enough to get one that day). You get crap because these people would much rather pawn their kids off on others and go to work. I have not seen a single job that requires the patience and ability to multitask like a SAHM. I have seen woman complain about not making enough money and I laught because we get paid in kisses, I love yous and finger paints. We dont get 2 weeks paid vacation. We dont get a 401k, but when our babies take those first steps, speak their first words and do oh so many other adorable things we can say we were there. We didnt have to hear about it from the sitter. We are there for our kids in the most crucial points in their lives and id take days of hearing people complain to spend an hour at home with my kids. I feel sorry for the moms who have to go to work because of everything they're missing out on.