Why do some moms choose not to breastfeed?

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Robyn - posted on 03/14/2010

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I think some people are missing the point of the question. It was asked so that someone could understand why others have chosen not to breastfeed. Many women choose to formula feed for various reasons. She wasn't trying to make those that chose to do so feel bad. She has been more positive than some on here. There are some women out there that didn't but didn't have the support or couldn't for medical reasons. I think she just wanted to know that most women have valid reasons for choosing formula over breastmilk. The only negative thing she said was about the pre-made formula that you are given or can buy. All formula has an expiration date on the can and I am sure the pre-made bottles do as well. I do know that some hospitals in the US force them on some people. My sister-in-law had to put under for her c-section and planned to breastfeed. The stickin' nurses handed a bottle to my other SIL to feed the baby less than two hours after she was born. My neice didn't need anything yet. It really is a misunderstanding that babies need to feed right after being born. They still have plenty of nutrients in them for a bit after birth. If you think about it...when a woman breastfeeds, in the beginning it is only colostrum. It isn't really enough to feed a baby but they do just fine until the milk comes in. Sorry I went on a bit of a tangent, but I understand the original poster's question and don't think she was meaning anything bad by it. If you go back and look at her posts you will find that it is not her being the negative one.

Hannah - posted on 03/14/2010

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Ok, ladies, I wrote this question to get real and honest answers and that is what I got. I am very surprised to hear that many women did not get the support they needed to breastfeed!! What would you do if there was no formula!? It's simple, your breasts fill with milk and you use it. I do agree that if not educated onthe matter it can be a rough start butr I really do urge you guys if you choose to have another child, PLEASE contact the La Leche League in your area(every area has one), a lactation consultant, a friend who has done it or even me for some help and support to succeed! It is very important to breastfeed as long as your child needs!! I seriously recommend getting informed and attending breastfeeding meetings of some sort(like La Leche League) while you are still pregnant so you are prepared and confident!!

[deleted account]

amanda goodness girl... i cant see how someone who is almost 10 years olders than me cant grow up just a little... leave everyone on here alone for gods sake... you have your reasons they have theirs and nothing you say will change it so drop it... are you that bored? i mean im a military stay at home mom/wife too but i dont just attck people all damn day for no reason... go to the PX or something get out of your home or play with your kids....

Brooke - posted on 03/15/2010

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I think that your question is rather judgemental in the way it is stated on here. I bonded with both of my children just as well as if i would've breastfed them. They are not lacking in any sort of attention areas. It is not a matter of being "lazy" or not. It is however much easier to share responsibility with my husband. They are not completely dependant on me for anything. My husband can help me with middle of the night feedings or I can go out for groceries by myself and be done in half the time than if I wouldve had my baby with me and I wasn't crunched for time so that I was home for the next feeding. It gives you freedom if necessary. It is unfortunate that not all of us can be stay at home mom's with our children (I am now but couldn't when my oldest was a newborn) when they are newborn. it is reality that most families need 2 incomes to survive in today's world. U have to do what works for u and your family dynamics. It also didn't work well for me because I worked at a hospital and took many different shifts and was "on call" and who knew when i would be home or not. convenience and not having to worry about pumping when most days I was lucky to get a lunch break at work...the every 3 hours to pump thing doesn't work with every job either. an 8-12 hour shift with no break...not ideal conditions. don't pass judgement...not everything is ideal for everyone. also, my second child had many allergies and acid reflux that would've caused me alot of label reading and a very limited diet in order to breastfeed and one wrong move on my part wouldve made for a very long day or night where as a constant diet of alimentum formula that i knew wouldnt upset her tummy made for a peaceful and happy baby.

Danielle - posted on 03/15/2010

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Im not being defensive. I breastfeed! And as a breastfeeding mother I dont want someone like you (Hannah) to represent us good breastfeeding mothers. How am I reading to much into it if you said if someone is capable of breastfeeding they should and not be lazy...How is that reading to much into it??? Every story I have heard from everyone they tired their best. But you continue to say " stop making excusses" "dont be lazy" " you didnt get the help you needed" blah blah... You should respect reasons why people didnt want to continue. Its not making an excuse. I dont think you made this post to find out info. I think you made this post to make mothers feel they didnt try hard enough!

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Lasa - posted on 03/15/2010

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some times its a personal choice sometimes not. for me i had to leave my girl with my mom n gave her a bottle because i wasnt gunna be there to feed her, after that she never wanted to latch on again, it was really upsetting for me but thats just how it went after that i got discouraged and i hated the hand pump n cant afford a better one so i just eventually quit pumping i wasnt making enough to fill her up or the pump just wasnt getting it all out.

Valerie - posted on 03/15/2010

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Well I cannot breastfeed because I did not produce enough for my son. I am formula feeding him now and he is happier, gaining more weight and sleeping better. I do not think it has anything to do with being lazy!!! Also, it is not as simple as, "just keep trying and your milk will come in". I tried breastfeeding for 2 months and I was hardly producing anything. I would even pump and not get very much out, about 2 oz. total. My son was always hungry so I was trying to feed him just about every half hour. I started taking Fenugreek, but that wasn't helping either. Hannah, not to be rude, but I bet that if you weren't producing enough or had some sort of problem, you would be thinking differently about formula.

Herna - posted on 03/15/2010

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Hello Everyone,



This conversation has been locked for future replies because complaints have been sent to the Circle of Moms team.



We'd like to remind everyone that Circle of Moms has guidelines in order to foster sharing with generosity and respect. You are all a very important part of our communitiy and we ask that all members contribute to this.



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Circle of Moms

Customer and Community Support

Lisa - posted on 03/15/2010

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to hannah g.- Maybe you should've closed this conversation long ago then before it got out of hand...I think I read a few that wrote answers that you were really looking for. I'm not trying to be rude or anything but some of this stuff is pretty harsh, and it definitely got out of hand. I hope you find the answers you were looking for for your La Leche team. Good Luck!

[deleted account]

Lianne- Your delivery sounds much like mine, actually. My son was almost ten pounds when he was born and I hadn't eaten in over 30 hours before I went into labour. I pushed for four hours after this thirty to be told that he was too large and that I was going to have to try the forceps, which also DID NOT WORK. haha! At this point, I was given an emergency c-section, where I had a reaction to the agent that was supposed to take me back from the local anesthetic, and ended up in ICU for an additional 12 hours with a respirator until I came to. Then, and this infuriated me more than anything, the first thing the nurse was concerned with when I regained consciousness was the URGENCY of my immediate breastfeeding, while I was t-totally pumped full of drugs.......I am a firm believer that sometimes breastfeeding is too traumatic after a stressful birth for parent and child. I did breastfeed for a period of time, but think i would have done alot better if my introduction to it was a better one.

[deleted account]

I wanted to exclusively breastfeed but that wasn't an option for me. It isn't always a personal reason. Formula may be the best option for some babies. In my case, my daughter was jaundice for a while. In the hospital they FORCED me to stop breastfeeding and to bottle-feed her. After her two week check up, the doctor said it was ok to start breastfeeding her again, while still giving her at least 2-3 bottles a day of formula. But at that point, she didn't want the breast as she had adjusted to the nipple of the bottle. I then tried using a nipple shield to see if it would work for her, which it did, but after 2 months she didn't want my breast anymore. She wanted the rapidness of the bottle and pumping was not working for me, so I had to bottle-feed her. She just wouldn't take to my breast. But if it was as easy for me as it is for you, I would be breastfeeding her still today. I miss it! I loved the bonding! It's a wonderful experience! But sometimes, it isn't the best option.

[deleted account]

I can provide an answer to this question, and admit that I experienced a lot of guilt when I decided to cease breast feeding with my son after just a few weeks. When my son was born, he was almost 10 lbs and could feed on each breast for an hour at a time each time he ate. I couldn't keep him fed from my milk alone and started supplementing with formula until I eventually turned to using the bottle solely. I feel that it is a personal choice and, like my case where I simply could not keep my son fed, it is not always the "decision" of the mother. I respect women that choose to breastfeed and ask that those that choose this route respect formula feeders like me.

Hannah - posted on 03/15/2010

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Dana, I woul love to hear your story. I cant figure out how to lock this anyway so it will be open for nice discussion for a few more hours!!

[deleted account]

Hannah G-

my daughter is 2 now, but im intrested to no, when i had my daughter i was extremly out of it i had no energy i hadnt slept or eaten for about 60hours then another 40hours of labour then a emergancy c-section, my daughter wouldnt latch and didnt do anything when i put my small finger in her mouth so i tried for a day or 2, listening to her scream the hospital down, and i finally gave up and got my mum to go buy bottles and milk.

because i didnt have any because during my pregnancy i planned on BF.



All i want to no is how long do you leave a newborn baby to go without milk ???

Shamarra - posted on 03/15/2010

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I tried breastfeeding both of my boys but I gave up too easily thinking they weren't getting enough as they were feeding every hr. Mind you I only tried for 2 weeks so it was quite normal. I had no information about breastfeeding, how much is sufficient etc. So after I felt like I failed yet again with my 2nd child I read & read & read up on breastfeeding & I can't wait to breastfeed my next child.

So both my children were forumla fed from around 2 weeks of age & they are both very happy, healthy children.

[deleted account]

WOW! Hannah......sorry everything has gotten so outta control! Good luck with the research......I was gonna post my personal story but if you wanna hear you can message me!



P.S. I have also read the entire thread and just for the record; I CAN SEE BOTH SIDES! I can understand the women who are upset but I also don't think Hannah intentionally wanted to upset anyone AND even if you thought that's what she was doin why play into it?!!



Good luck ladies!

Ericka - posted on 03/15/2010

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I breastfed my daughter for two weeks until I found out she was lactose intolerant. There are some moms who would like to breastfeed but are unable to.

Hannah - posted on 03/15/2010

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Why isn't it working? How old is your baby? I need more info? What is going wrong? Is he having trouble latching? If you stick your pinky in his mouth does he suck? Im leaving to the beach, so I will get back to you in 2 hours!

[deleted account]

yes very true every child is different thats why not all babies are BF, im asking from when your baby is born how long do you not feed it for because BF is not working ?

Hannah - posted on 03/15/2010

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Your child needs to nurse no longer than every 3 hours! Every baby is different! Some babies nurse every half hour, some nursr every 3 hours and some nuse evry hour! In the middle of the night maybe once or twice, it depends on the child!

Hannah - posted on 03/15/2010

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I agree, I had no idea it would come to this ladies! It was just a research question!

[deleted account]

Hannah G- its a question and your saying you want to help mums and you seem to no about BF, so how long would you not feed your baby?

Sheree - posted on 03/15/2010

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Hannah, I posted on here when the post first started, i have just read the thread again and really think it needs to be locked, its kind of gotten out of hand, With people abusing others. Just a thought :)

Roxanne - posted on 03/15/2010

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danielle it was on that stupid cereal one, basically what you have said on here, putting some one down because they have researched and now are voicing their opinion and its different to yours...
you all have to remember that this is all opinions on here, plus i'm sure most people on here care enough about their children to join something like this,
but i also agree that amanda has taken it a bit far : )
remember this is just a internet site, you dont have to get angry because you have the power to switch it off

Hannah - posted on 03/15/2010

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I think my words were taken out of context! FF is way harder and more stressful! That is one of the many reasons I chose to BF! Take everything that is said here however you want but I only state facts about nursing to help other mothers in prediaments and because I am a member of La Leche League and I made a huge effort to learn everything I possibly could on BFing so that I could succeed! I researched, went to meetings on BFing while pregnant and talked to many pro BFing doctors to make sure there was no way I would fail because I was very determined! To each her own, and like I said MANY times before, I am just getting insight so that I can create a site or group of BFing mothers that would like to help struggling moms! There are many things parents don't understand about BFing and that is why so many women give up and worry that their baby is not getting enough milk! They are getting enough milk, they just need to nurse more often in the beginning because breastmilk digests soooo easily and their tummies are only the size of a marble! Anyways, I could go on and on about this but I only help people who want help!

Cindy - posted on 03/15/2010

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So Amanda, everything you did with your children was your choice right? Its obvious that you didn't really like formula feeding so you CHOSE to not do it anymore.



Just like you all the other Moms on here have CHOSEN to do what they want to with their children. Therefore, nobody, is better than anyone else for CHOOSING to do something with their child. :) :)

Cindy - posted on 03/15/2010

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So Amanda, everything you did with your children was your choice right? Its obvious that you didn't really like formula feeding so you CHOSE to not do it anymore.



Just like you all the other Moms on here have CHOSEN to do what they want to with their children. Therefore, nobody, is better than anyone else for CHOOSING to do something with their child. :) :)

Danielle - posted on 03/15/2010

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Also you have never seen me on another post downing 1st time mothers...because I just signed up for this late last night!

Danielle - posted on 03/15/2010

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Roxanne what are you talking abut..I wrote something to Hannah about being a 1st time mother and thinking she knows everything...Because she was telling "us" mothers of 2 or 3 kids already that we didnt try hard enough or we were lazy with breastfeeding..and all I was saying for someone who is a 1st time mother she thinks she knows everything. LIKE I SAID BEFORE AND IM GONNA KEEP SAYING...AS LONG AS OUR CHILDREN ARE HEALTHY AND GROWING THATS ALL THAT SHOULD BETTER..NOT WHAT THIS MOTHER OR THAT MOTHER DOES. WE SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT OUR KIDS ARE HEALTHY. There are sooo many kids out there that are really sick and dieing...And here we are sitting here bashing one other for what the other one does with their child.

Anna - posted on 03/15/2010

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I tried the day she was born and she would not latch even had a home nurse come to our house to help but she just would not latch. Moms who do not breastfeed don't bc they have their reason not bc they are bad or lazy moms. If your a mom who can than good. But some moms cant and some babys just dont want it.

Becca - posted on 03/15/2010

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I tried and tried and tried. For almost 2 months I pumped every 2 or 3 hours and used a supplementer thing when I'd feed my son. I couldn't do anything else because all day I was nursing or pumping. It completely wore me out. I was pretty much a zombie. My milk NEVER came in, the doctors aren't sure why though my bad ppd may have been a factor. Every time I feed him I feel l need to explain to everyone why I'm using formula because most everyone seems to think bf is the only way. It makes me feel like I'm a bad mom. I feel like everyone is looking down on me. I know I shouldn't feel that way because for the most part it's not true. If I have another baby I'll try again but I'm not getting my hopes up.

[deleted account]

back to feeding!!

when i was pregnant, i planned on BF but after about 60 hours of no sleep! 40 hours of labour and then a emergancy c-section! i was completly out of it, i was completly drained!! i did try to BF and my daughter just wouldnt latch on! so after a couple of days i gave up my daughter hadnt eaten for days she was constantly screaming i was losing my mind, so my mum went out and brought milk and bottles.

just like to say i am not lazy!! im a single mum looking after my daughter 24/7 i do everything for her i dont get 5mins for myself.
also i suffered post natal depression and half the reason was because i couldnt BF.

Amanda - posted on 03/15/2010

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Actually I just said putting cereal in a bottle was wrong if there was no medical reason for it and even then it's dangerous. Which is no more than any doctor will tell you. I guess being called names and being cussed at was alright b/c it was by someone who agreed with you all. Cindy, you keep telling me on here to stop talking to you and then you email me 3 times. Looks like you are the one harassing me.

Cindy - posted on 03/15/2010

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Roxanne, Danielle wasn't putting anybody on a lower level than her...... she is defending everybody else from Amanda Abbott who has 3 children and keeps personally attacking everybody and telling them there are wrong with what they do with their children if they dont google it on the internet.

Robyn - posted on 03/15/2010

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This is totally ridiculous! Nobody should be calling anybody selfish, lazy, crazy, uneducated, stupid and anything else demeaning. This is a forum. If you can't handle someone else's opinion, then maybe you shouldn't be on here. And there is no reason for bad language either. Everyone one just needs to be respectful of one another.

Roxanne - posted on 03/15/2010

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danielle sweeney i'm sure i've seen your name in a different thread, once again putting 1st time mums on a level lower than you... some of us are good mums with our 1st, yeah its the first time we've done it but that doesn't mean your better at doing the mum thing than us because you've done it more than once.

i cant tell you all FF is so much harder the BF, except for the 1st 6 weeks of BF, when your both learning to do it, babies dont always latch on properly and can take hours and hours of your day. but i know i probably would have given up if i didn't have the great support i had around me

[deleted account]

i am not what? playing with my kid...ohh i completely forgot that your god and you know everything...sorry what was i thinking...

Amanda - posted on 03/15/2010

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PS...You can't ban someone from the internet because they have a different opinion than you. If that were the case then all of you would be taken off as well.

Having 3 kids doesn't make me a know it all. Doing my research and not just doing what my doctor says makes me know enough to be a great parent.

Amanda - posted on 03/15/2010

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i have my computer beside me while i play blocks with my son but i am not attcking other moms for their choices

Sure you are.

Amanda - posted on 03/15/2010

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Well this I have to see. Good luck. Even if it worked, my life wouldn't end if I couldn't post here. LOL!

Cindy - posted on 03/15/2010

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I think she thinks everybody else is wrong in what they do with there children because she has 3 children......so CLEARLY she knows all there is to know about children.

LOL!

[deleted account]

i have my computer beside me while i play blocks with my son but i am not attcking other moms for their choices... you are... and continuously doing so..... people are serious when it comes to their kids... you of all people should know... and just because you lost a child as have i...doesnt mean you know every medical fact to keep them alive... and even if you did its still your opinion...

Danielle - posted on 03/15/2010

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Something needs to happen...because her being the way she is..I dont think she should be able to be on a site like this!!

Danielle - posted on 03/15/2010

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You honestly have issues!!! Something is not connecting in your brain...I would never trust you with anything...

Cindy - posted on 03/15/2010

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Hey Danielle, maybe we should start a petition to get her kicked off the Cicrle of Moms website and send it to The Circle of Moms admnistration.

Amanda - posted on 03/15/2010

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Amanda you should honestly be kicked off this site...If something happens to our kids...are you kidding me right now...who says that?!!?!?!

I didn't say anything wrong. I said IF. Anything can happen at any moment. Trust me, I know.

Amanda - posted on 03/15/2010

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amanda goodness girl... i cant see how someone who is almost 10 years olders than me cant grow up just a little... leave everyone on here alone for gods sake... you have your reasons they have theirs and nothing you say will change it so drop it... are you that bored? i mean im a military stay at home mom/wife too but i dont just attck people all damn day for no reason... go to the PX or something get out of your home or play with your kids....


Says the girl sitting at home, on her computer, making fun of me googling. I don't shop the PX dear. I am waiting for my husband to get home while my children take naps.

Danielle - posted on 03/15/2010

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Amanda you should honestly be kicked off this site...If something happens to our kids...are you kidding me right now...who says that?!!?!?!

Amanda - posted on 03/15/2010

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The whole cereal thing...you kept telling me and other mothers..."Well my doctor told me not to do that. He told me to spoon feed the cereal...So yes you did keep falling back to "my doctor"



No I came home and did my research on the whole thing. I wasn't keen on giving my 2 week old cereal in any way. But when she was violently throwing up and baby Prevacid wasn't working I had no choice. Since I didn't read page after page that putting it on a spoon would cause my child to choke I went with that.

Danielle - posted on 03/15/2010

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The whole cereal thing...you kept telling me and other mothers..."Well my doctor told me not to do that. He told me to spoon feed the cereal...So yes you did keep falling back to "my doctor" Why can you just accept that we did what our doctors told us..and you did what your doctor told you...and that all our children are healthy and growing..why cant we just leave it at that?!?!? We already know you think its not good what we did...we got your point...So can we just move on from it already!

Jade - posted on 03/15/2010

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With my first, my milk didnt come in as I was under to much stress. With my second I tried and lasted 3 days then put her on the bottle as I really didnt like it at all.

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