Why do the breastfeeding moms always criticize the moms who don't breastfeed?

Jenna - posted on 12/27/2011 ( 161 moms have responded )

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I get tired of hearing that I'm selfish for not breastfeeding, that if I'd only tried harder and longer, I would have been successful, and that I'm basically a bad mom for bottle feeding. Why do we chastise the other for this? Same thing for natural birth versus medication or even c-sections. I've had friends who've nearly died in childbirth without the emergency section and then were criticized for having c-sections for 2nd babies. Why do we do this to each other instead of supporting each other?

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Jodi - posted on 01/04/2012

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I'm a breastfeeding mom and in our defense, it's not easy breastfeeding either. We get rude comments, stared at, KICKED OUT of restaurants, sporting events, shopping departments. We get told we're immodest, I was once called a pedophile. But worse than any of that, there was one time at a play-group I was chatting with another mother. She was telling me about how hard it was for her because she was having an aweful time finding a formula for her baby who was gassy, constipated and very fussy. I never said formula was bad, I never said breast is best; I said "I know how you feel! We're nursing and my baby is SO sensitive to everything I eat I have to pass up my favorite foods!" I was not trying to use breastfeeding as a weapon, or put her down. I was trying to talk to her mother to mother. Sure, we may have chosen different modes to feed our children, but that doesn't mean there isn't some common ground for us. But, she took it as my being all preachy about breastfeeding, I might as well have said to her point blank, "You are such a failure for using formula, you don't love your child." Which is not at all what I was thinking or feeling.

What I'm saying is, it works both ways. It's not right, it sucks for everyone involved. And personally, I see women bottle feeding all the time and no one gives them flack (from what *I* have seen, I'm not saying it doesn't happen.) but me, I've been asked to leave a restuarant AND to feed my child in the restroom. I've been given rude looks and dirty comments for nursing my child in public, with a blanket, in a discreet location. But, I don't hold that against anyone, it's societal ignorance IMO.

Criticism works both ways...and it DOES, don't ever think it doesn't. So...basically, you're not alone. Some people don't agree with your decisions...some people don't agree with mine, we have that in common...most importantly, we have in common that we are moms, that we love our children and that we're doing the best by them.

[deleted account]

Er because I'm obviously better than you....I'm sorry bad taste I know, but seriously because the people making you feel bad or guilty are insecure and need to degrade the things others do to make themselves feel better and make their choices right.



I have ff my son (he wouldn't latch and I couldn't get anything out with a pump after three weeks) and am bf my daughter (she's 7 months); I used gas with my sons labour and was med free for my daughters; my son sleeps in his own bed, always has, my daughter sleeps in my bed; I used a very modified very gentle version of controlled crying with my son, no way with my daughter she would be distraught after a minute or two etc.



No two children are the same, we all have to make choices based on our lives and our experiences as well as the individual personalities don't let the zealots get to you, most of us make the best choices for our families at the time. Just be proud of your choices I know I am of mine :-)

Lady Heather - posted on 01/05/2012

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I gotta say - the judgment I have experienced as a breastfeeding mum pales in comparison to that I've received as a formula feeder. Maybe this varies based on where you live, but I've breastfed all over in public and not received so much as a second glance. Hauling out the formula bottle I got looks of disgusts, left out at the library baby group and approached by total strangers who wanted to tell me how to breastfeed. For me the two criticisms can not be compared. The other thing is when you get criticized for breastfeeding you at least have the knowledge that you are feeding the absolute best according to all the professionals so how can you feel bad about that? As a formula feeder who wanted to breastfeed I think the criticism was just that much more painful because I so badly want to feed her and I already felt guilty about not being able. It was like kicking me while I was down. If someone made a comment about my breastfeeding I would more confidently tell them to fuck off because I am happy with my situation right now.

Maree - posted on 01/11/2012

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Hmmmm...a lot has been said since i was last here.

I agree with Holly but Megan i agree with some of what you said as well.



I just wonder,when some people on here have said that they are not judgmental towards women who "try" to breast feed and they only judge the ones who think it's gross or are too lazy to do it.



I feel the same but i was wondering how many people actually believe the people who say they "couldn't" breast feed ???



Do you think that women KNOW they are going to be judged therefore they say they "couldn't" in order to not be judged?



It seems that there are so few women who breast feed that it really is not possible that pretty much all of them had a medical condition,couldn't make milk,milk dried up or whatever ?....I know either way it is not my business what anyone else does but like it or not,i do judge people...most people judge but maybe they just keep it to themselves.



If it is true that the majority of the population simply cannot make milk or are unable to breast feed for one reason or another....i wonder why and when this happened !!!



Is the female body incapable to do what it once was designed to do?



Are women giving up too easily?



Are there too many other options?



I personally highly doubt that the female body has changed so much with time that it is now unable to produce milk or keep up it's milk supply..I can't help but to feel this way and i have no intention to shut my mouth and say nothing.



I have been told many times that i should shut up and be supportive if i want people to breast feed...well, i'm over wanting people to breast feed,i don't really care but i have a right to feel the way i feel and to think that women lie!!!

I think many women do lie and i'm not scared to say it,especially not on here....it is a way for me to get my frustrations out and if people do not want opinions and/or judgment then they should not be on here asking people for them...

Nete - posted on 01/09/2012

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some folks are just thoughtless and don't take into account that just maybe having to give up on breastfeeding have been a hurtful hurdle to overcome... my twins was preemies, in the ICU and the hospital simply wouldn't let me breastfeed being they needed to know the ml they were taking in...by the time I was allowed to try, my babies wanted no part of breastfeeding, we went to boot camp for breast feeding you name it and I finally just have to resort my mind to pumping and bottle feeding until I lost the milk.... not happy about it, but I got two healthy kids and for anyone to point fingers is unfair for all of us who had to find a different solution

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Tracey - posted on 01/12/2012

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I think there are a lot of factors that can have to do with ill health in kids: so much of the food supply is now GMO, etc.; the emphasis on low fat (and the fats used being highly processed instead of natural; people getting too little vitamin D over fear of the sun; abandoning of foodways that had been traditional for centuries. I've even seen articles saying that feeding artificial baby milk is better than the milk of someone who eats a highly-processed diet that contains a lot of toxins and not much in the way of nutrition. I breastfed all three of mine, but particularly with the third, as I kept learning more about real, traditional nutrition, I think the quality of my milk had to have improved as I ate better. I never ate *badly* by most standards: plenty of vegetables and whole foods, but I just ate more traditional foods, like real butter, grassfed meats when I could, cod liver oil, etc. with the last one.



One thing does puzzle me a bit: most people will acknowledge that it's better to eat real, whole foods over processed foods: buying whole, fresh vegetables, cuts of meat, blocks of cheese over boxed mixes, frozen dinners, or fast food. If it's not medically necessary for some reason, why avoid processed foods, but give a processed food to your baby as their *exclusive* food for months on end?

Amanda - posted on 01/12/2012

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This is for Kelly, I just read your post about immunity, ear infections, etc. While you were doing your research, did it cross your mind that these childhood illness are up because more infants are in daycare now? I notice a huge difference between my eldest who was in daycare at 9 months and my twins who have not been in daycare. My eldest had way more infections and such. Was it due to her getting strictly formula or was it the other mothers who sent their children to daycare sick? You know those moms who give a dose of motrin and know they can get a few hours in at work before daycare calls? I am just pointing out that not everything is black and white. BTW - I have not posted alot on circle of moms, so when i hit the reply under your comment, i think it may have reported the post instead. I am sorry if that is the case as I just wanted to reply. Thanks.

Amanda - posted on 01/12/2012

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I could not breastfeed my first daugher and I am ok with that as I was on medication that would have been toxic to her. When I had my twins several years later, they were preemies so I began my quest to pump for them. Due to them being preemies they could not easily attach. Also, due to their prematurity I was instruced by the NICU doc and later their pediatrican to mix my milk with preemie formula. For about nine months I pumped and mixed as much as I could but my milk supply was not consistent. Anyway, I did what I thought was best and I heard it from both sides of the aisle. Many thought that I should have strictly bottle fed due to their medical issues and my medical issues. The other side said I didn't try hard enough to give them what they needed. My response always was thanks for your concern but my daughters are progessing well, their doctors are pleased and if you don't stop harping on me, I will not visit with you anymore =)

Amanda - posted on 01/12/2012

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Is it possible that the women who protest the loudest may be doubting their choices? This whole breast vs bottle debate is as bitter as the working mom vs the stay at home mom. It doesn't get much better as our kids get older either. The moms who are headstrong that everyone should be like them are the very ones I hate to deal with at PTA, local sports assoc, playgrounds whatever because they are so sure that their darling children are perfect and can do no wrong because they have the most perfect parent.

**Jackie** - posted on 01/12/2012

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Krista you sound like a great mom. You sound like you don't take these debates too seriously because you know what you are doing is right. You go girl!

Krista - posted on 01/12/2012

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I agree!!!! Although it is supposed to be healthier to breast feed - to each their own. Everybody has their own opinion and views. NO one should push their opinions onto another mom. I didnt breast feed, and I love my drugs during labor. That does make me a terrible mom (so I hear)

Britt - posted on 01/12/2012

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Gosh I assume I will be scolded for not breastfeeding all 3 of my kids. Its our mothers own rights to do whatever we want or feel comfortable with. Sometimes breastfeeding is harder for some more than others. My 3 kids turned out just fine health wise , gained appropriate weight, spoon fed them cereal , by me working with children at a daycare, w/ the babies i surely saw more enfamil moms (bottle fed) moms more than breastmilk.

As long as our babies are healthy really thats what matters. Good day.

**Jackie** - posted on 01/12/2012

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Apology accepted. Just because I didn't breastfeed this munchkin doesn't mean I won't try again with the next :) Have a great day

Joanne - posted on 01/12/2012

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Now I DO apologize for starting this. While debating is good dragging down is not. Sorry Jackie.



It might not be for now about contaminated breast milk. Maybe in the next 4 or 5 decades???? Just throwing it out there. Think with an open mind to say what if is not a scare tactic. It is just not living in a bubble.



The last from me on this matter.

**Jackie** - posted on 01/12/2012

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Exactly, and since Ms Holly missed it and/or is a selective reader...I shall say it again. If you are a mother who breastfeeds in public...good for you, if you do it in the privacy of your own home...good for you. If you are a mother who formula feeds...good for you. Do what YOU think is best for YOUR baby. If you'd like to talk about me...have fun talking to yourself :)

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/12/2012

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Any time Jackie, I don't get why everyone is getting so personal. No one's suggesting that anyone did anything wrong with their babies. Most are just saying it's not right to judge or criticize another mom.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/12/2012

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Where does Jackie's political veiw fit in with this conversation? I've re-read everything in here and I'm just curious about that? Her reference about studies wasn't a shot at any country, it was a shot at scare tactics.



Holly, how about we leave off with the personal attacks? It's not conductive. Kel and I don't always agree on things, but she's yet to say anything negative towards me. What Jackie was trying to say IMO was that no ONE method is best for everyone.



Kel, the scared thing was just being silly, but you're an inch taller than my mom! Yikes. BUt still, it's not just powdered milk, it has added vitamins, minerals and other components that babies need. And moms aren't just fooling themselves into thinking these things. I will tell you one thing, I am the same way in person that I am on here. I don't use the internet to voice my true feelings then hold back in my real life. Also, if FF babies are more supsceptable to certain things, then why do I know so many breast fed babies who are now adults with a wealth of health issues?



No one knows what causes alzheimers and many people who have that were breastfed. At least the ones I've known through my line of work.

**Jackie** - posted on 01/12/2012

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It says so in my profile. Is that relevant? I'm guessing that by your apology before my name and the powerhouse question that is sensitive by many...you are going somewhere with this.

Joanne - posted on 01/12/2012

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That is what was first suggested. Do what you think is best for your own child.

**Jackie** - posted on 01/12/2012

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why would anyone sit in a tree eating bananas all day? I'm not sure I follow the stereotyping. Also, just because you say that breastfeeding babies is best....does not mean it is the best. Just because I ff my baby (who is happy, healthy and perfect) does not mean that it is the best. I do what I think is best for my baby.

Joanne - posted on 01/12/2012

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Unfortunately your subject choice for your research topic says it all. What I am saying is that yes bf is best but there are so many factors now days and your babies life will not step off into an abyss if you do not breast feed that is all I am saying.



Just because I come from Africa does not mean I swallow all research and BS. I have an education and don't sit in a tree eating bananas the whole day.



And I love a good debate.

**Jackie** - posted on 01/12/2012

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I just read a "study" that when women are given the opportunity to turn left or right in a mall...they turn right. Who put out the money for this research and more importantly, who the heck cares? So much for "studies"

**Jackie** - posted on 01/12/2012

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Joanne, although I get what you are saying...you are opening up the conversation to new elements. I don't live in Africa....researchers seem to think they are God and try to scare people into thinking that the swine flu (or the more feared name...H1N1) is more than a mutated flu virus. Today we fear terrorists, bullies, gang members, adolescent sexual intercourse, STDs.....it could happen to either breast fed or formula fed babies. We should worry about loving, molding, and education our babies. What they do or do not drink for a year will not have an effect on the above mentioned.

Jodi - posted on 01/12/2012

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Now how did I know I'd find Kel here telling all you mothers who don't breastfeed how you could be doing better.....?

Joanne - posted on 01/12/2012

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Studies of environmental contaminates that every human in a built up area (or rural) is exposed to, heavy metals and other baddies in the environment, are absorbed by men and women in their everyday life and although still to new, research is suggesting that these MIGHT be passed on to breast fed infants.



Here in Africa there are concerns about DDT and how it attaches to the fat in milks (cow & human) and how it is causing the most horrific birth defects in babies in some areas. Since the time DDT was used it is in water systems and the environment it does not go away and is just recycled. In Asia and Europe there is similar research that breast milk MIGHT be able to be contaminated. Further research needs to be done on the matter. But WOW how frightening could that be. One day we would have polluted our environment so much that even breast milk might not be safe?? Deep breath on that one. The would also apply to milk based formulas.

**Jackie** - posted on 01/12/2012

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Also, Kel, I believe that babies pediatricians, especially young ones, are proposing that babies get "adult" food at 4 and/or 6 months because they are bigger now. Back in the day you were feeding a 6 lb baby at 4 months. Now, you are expected to provide enough breast milk for a baby that was born at maybe 10 lbs? My pediatrician is in her 60s and told me not to even give my baby pureed food until 12 months. Now? She LOVES garbanzo beans, eggs, fruit and zuccini! She has never had a french fry or a hot dog and when she has pasta..it is wheat pasta. She has never even had a cough and no allergies. I, too, was not breastfed by my mother and I don't think I got sick until I was enrolled into gymnastics at age 4. :) just sayin

**Jackie** - posted on 01/12/2012

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You can do all the research you want. If I eat burnt toast and 2 cups of black coffee for breakfast...I'm not about to say "ooo that sounds nutritious...come here munchkin time for breast milk!" Nope, I will give her what I, and I alone, think is best. Please do not preach about why one is better and obesity and blah blah blah. YOU do what is best for YOUR child. I will do what is best for MINE. I don't need to post links about breast milk or formula feeding. Why? Because I won't change anyone's mind. If you breast feed your baby then good for you! If you formula feed your baby then good for you!

Maree - posted on 01/12/2012

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Holly,i think people know whats right and whats wrong...for a while i thought that they just hadn't bothered to do their research,then i thought they were ignorant,selfish,maybe even feeling guilty.

Now i don't really care too much,they want to pretend that giving powdered milk is a good thing...let them,as frustrating as it is to hear all about how healthy their kids are and how far formula has come....just let them do whatever they want and know that they will never truly get it.If their child gets ear infections every second week....it will be genetic. If they get gastro constantly,it will be because of the weather. If they get Asthma,eczema or food allergies by 6 months of age,it will be nothing to do with the formula they have been sucking down 8 times a day....



They do not want to know about the immunity benefits to breast feeding,they do not want to acknowlede that maybe...just maybe,they are making genetic problems that a child may have,worse than necessary by giving formula and solid food before 6 months.



Do they not see that the reason why it has,up until very recently,been recommended that bottle fed babies are to be given food at 4 months....formula isn't enough for them after thst time where as breast fed babies need nothing else until at least 6 months because breast milk is such a perfect healthy substance that anything else is unnecessary and potentially dangerous. Does anyone ever think to question why a formula baby should be eating food at 4 months and a breast fed one doesn't need to?????

I would have to think that formula must be quite unhealthy if it is recommended to give adult food to a tiny baby who has pretty much no immune system yet...hmmmm,someone explain this to me if you think i am so wrong..



Maybe that is something that should be studied and for all the kids that have food allergies,maybe that's because they were given food when their bodies were too little to cope with it.



I know it's not only formula babies that have problems but if you look into the studies it is much more common....forget about just the people you know and look further than that,then maybe ask yourself why this is!!!!! ...it is a proven fact that it is mainly ff babies admitted to hospital for immunity related preventable illnesses and it is also a fact that it is lack of immunity that is a cause of eczema. Bronchiolitis is much more common in ff babies and kids that have had this,especially more than once are much more likely to then develop asthma.



I honestly think that saying it's my body and my choice is selfish and wrong,especially if you can breast feed but choose not to...i think you lose that right when you decide to become a mother and everything in your power should be done to be healthy and keep your children healthy....i guess that's just my opinion though...and maybe you too Holly.

Jolene - posted on 01/11/2012

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I personally breastfed both my babies , my first born I only fed till she was 6 months , she actually weened herself and I never even had to take any medication to stop my milk .She had a good and healthy apatite by then . She went from the breast to cows milk . My second baby I breastfed for 21 months .He refused to eat and would only take very small amounts of anything from a bottle , as time went by he started eating small amounts , by the time he was 21 months old I could not take it anymore ! he had at one stage bitten me and I got a infection as the wound did not heal due to his constant drinking. Had to make the hard choice to just stop cold turkey. Boy those were a few rough nights lol , I had to actually wear a body suit as he would come to out bed and try to help himself to some comfort food haha . And I had to actually take a few prescriptions of tablets to take away the milk with him .



But never mind all that to get to the point of this topic . I have never nor will I ever look down on moms who either choose to or simply can not breastfeed . In both my children there is a significant time difference in the length they were breast fed and they both are fairly healthy children . My sisters baby who was bottle fed is probably just as healthy . We as moms should not be as easy to judge the others on what is better or what is right . I say do what you feel is right in your heart , it is probably your best and most trusted tool .

Joanne - posted on 01/11/2012

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Weird that all my brothers and I were formula fed no allergies, no obesity, no high blood pressure, no overt sickly qualities. My mom-in-law was breast fed and bf her babies till 2 - 21/2 lets see mmm she has asthma, allergy and is sickly. My husband, her son, blows up like a balloon when he is bitten by any bug and has a blood sugar problem. His sister is just weird and has had some major problems both health and mental. The other brother is fine. While breast feeding is excellent I don't think that it is the cure to all ills or that formula is the cause of all. I do think genetics is the major player.



Though a brilliant first step if you traumatize an infant or child, don't give them strong self worth, don't love them enough, don't establish good eating whole foods, encourage physical-ness, encourage exploration etc. in other words give them a well rounded, secure childhood no matter how much you breast fed a child they would emotional, mental and physical issues



What I am trying to say it is not the only thing it is one of many that will contribute to your child's health. Breast feeding is not the only issue to having a healthy whole child.

Alisha - posted on 01/11/2012

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I personally breast-fed my babies but at the same time I know of SO many awesome moms that are great that bottle feed. I think people that criticize moms who don't just have to much opinion and they probably like to flash the public too (pepeev of mine sorry). If a mom is thinking about bottlefeeding or breastfeeding I would defiantly advise her in the breasfeeding but some moms can't and they still can be GREAT moms don't let it bother you.

Holly Janelle - posted on 01/11/2012

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Here it is laid out for all who want to see it. http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/eb... Benefits of Breastfeeding past 12 months of age. please tell me again that breastmilk (100% natural, God given) is no different than formula (a man made product that is overly commercialized $$$$). we weren't given breasts to satisfy men ladies we were given them to feed our children! Your sayin you havent seen a difference in ff babies and bf babies well maybe it's because you haven't been doing your research to learn about the women who breastfeed past a year and that significant difference between those children and ff children because is right in front of you. Your just seeing what you want to see and that's fine. I don't have a problem with women who was to ff but please don't stand there and say bm and formula is the same because they are in no way the same.

Brittney - posted on 01/11/2012

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Breastfeeding isn't for everyone. I tried and couldn't do it, I had no milk I was wore out from birth and I needed help...there is nothing wrong with feeding your baby formula. Thats why its available. As for c-sections, I agree that vaginal is so much better, but for those whose babys are too big, in the wrong position, or dying, its there to be used in case of an emergency.

Tracey - posted on 01/11/2012

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Megan, one thing you could tell your mom is that in every study ever done, they have not been able to find a maximum age that breastfeeding shows benefits for (immunity, nutrients, and emotional). They did one for age 2 (24 months) and it still shows measurable benefits then. So they did one for 30 months, and it still shows benefits. So they did another for 36 months...still shows benefits. I don't know if they're going to push it higher than that, but there doesn't seem to be a point at which it goes from being a beneficial food to opaque, whitish, worthless water.



You can also tell her that breastfed babies have a lower chance of obesity and diabetes and a lower death rate through their first year. All of these have scientific surveys and studies behind them and should be easy to find links for if she needs them.

Maree - posted on 01/11/2012

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haha Megan...me...scary,that's funny..if only you could see me !!! Little 5 ft 0 ,40kg me...who apparently looks no older than 16 (or so i'm told)...it's so funny how i come across as agressive where as in real life i am like a mouse and am so very quiet and timid.



I have a friend,actually she is my sons step mother believe it or not. She loves my honesty and never ever gets offended by the crap i go on with...she knows me and knows i'm not referring to her in anything i say.



I think it's something that just comes with knowing someone well and also being confident in what you are doing...I'm sure she is,which is why what i say about other people does not offend her at all.

I find that great because you would think her or i would have automatic hostility towards each other considering i am the bio mum and she is the step mum...aren't we supposed to be wanting to scratch each others eyes out or something????



Ps..it's only luch time over here and nap time so i am not as busy as you right now

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/11/2012

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Ok good Kel, because those are the only arguements I use :) Who knows maybe my brother and I just lucked out in the genetic lottery. He has a severe allergy to penicillan, but that can happen with a lot of people. DH though is allergic to peppers, I could kill him if I kissed him after eatting a bell pepper! Not to mention the chronic broncitis.



I do find my opinions on breastfeeding have changed since I've been doing it, but I do still believe it's not for everyone. I will also always believe that while there may be extra benefits, it's not superfood. I do however agree with Jackie that you do seem like a good mom. You'd probably make a good friend too with the amount of honesty you have. But you scare me sometimes. :)



Tracey thanks, I'll try that next time she bites. I also tell her don't bite mommy it hurts. I don't think she gets that.



So does anyone have any suggestions on what else I should tell my mom who thinks that since I talk about my 10 month old biting me I should probably stop breastfeeding. So far all I tell her is it's cheaper and easier than formula.



ETA: Kel, I started typing this, then had to go make dinner and watch the baby so DH could shower. When I finally did post, you'd posted 14 minutes prior to me.

Maree - posted on 01/11/2012

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megan i just re read the post where i wrote BS. What i meant was on other communities i have posted things about struggles with step kids and bio mum...all i got was a whole lot of crap put on me for apparently being selfish and wrong for how i felt. No one understood but i had to just deal with it and realize that if i didn't want other peoples opinions then i shouldn't have posted it.

Maree - posted on 01/11/2012

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absolutely not megan...i am very aware of genetics as we have a family history of allergies.

As for saying things out in public...that would not happen,i know i'd cop it...thats why i do it here where people are asking for opinions and at the same time i can vent. If they don't like it they can ignore it.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/11/2012

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Kel I'd probably ask them 'Why the fuck were you looking' I already asked my SIL (not the one who has a baby) if she's want to eat in a public washroom after she suggested that nursing moms should feed their babies there. But if you say some of what you say on here to someone from my hometown who formula feeds, you might get punched. I'm not kidding that my brother's wife would've probably hit me if I had pushed the subject. You shouldn't be shocked that some women do construe you as rude and uncompassionate towards others when it comes to some things that you've said about formula fed babies and formula feeding moms. And I hope you're not considering comments about how genetics and lifestyle play a factor in someone's health BS.

Tracey - posted on 01/11/2012

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Megan, if she's biting (and all three of mine tried that at around the same age as yours), a wise older mom told me to put my hand on the back of the baby's head and push her head gently in so her nostrils are blocked by the breast and she has to open her mouth (and quit biting) in order to breathe. Do this just as soon as you feel teeth, and she'll learn quickly that using her teeth = milk stops/hard to breathe. Two of mine only had to have it done twice, while my middle one only tried once more after having her nostrils blocked. You're basically moving the baby's head right into your breast, but gently. The baby will rear her head back and *should* let go. If she doesn't, just move along with her until she gets the message.

**Jackie** - posted on 01/11/2012

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Couldn't agree with you more, Kel. I don't think breastfeeding vs formula feeding will ever not be a sensitive subject. You sound like a really good mom btw :)

Maree - posted on 01/11/2012

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True Jackie and thats what i think as well. people should not become so offended if they really are doingthe right thing.Who the bloody hell cares what i think????

I am truly amazed at the reactions i have got on here...never knew i was capable of pissing people off so much.

Still,i'm not going to shut up cause someone says i should,they are asking for opinions and im giving them...too bad if it's not what they want to hear.

I have received nothing but BS comments on posts i have on here but they don't seem to care about that !!! Works both ways does it not???

**Jackie** - posted on 01/11/2012

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Just a side note...my daughter has never ever been breast fed and she is 13 months old and has never had a cold. Just sayin. The nurses told me that it's good for their immune system blah blah....that MAY be...but formula has come a looooong way over the years. Just as I would never ever ever comment on a mother breastfeeding in public, I would definitely go off on someone if they came at me about formula feeding. To each their own, you do what is best for you and your baby

**Jackie** - posted on 01/11/2012

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ouch Megan :( I wish I could give you advice but I wouldn't even dream of trying to give tips on something that I have absolutely noooo idea about. :( I hope things get better. Worst case scenario? You have like 2ish more months of it :)?

Maree - posted on 01/11/2012

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Megan,if someone came up to me asd asked why i was feeding in public i would actually be really happy.....and i'd let rip on them lol.



They would wish they never spoke after i was finished with them,if someone wants to make negative comments on me feeding my child the MOST healthy thing possible then i would have a great time making sure they knew how exactly i felt about their choices....sorry megan but you know me a little bit now,don't mean to offend you but you know...i really would love someone to make that comment to me...haha.

**Jackie** - posted on 01/11/2012

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Kel, I get where you are coming from but I just don't really care whether or not a mother formula feeds or breast feeds. I do think, however, that it is extremely important to love and cherish your munchkin...so having said that...do what YOU think is best for YOUR baby. If someone wants to talk about me, they can talk to themselves because I'm sure as heck not listening.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/11/2012

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Jackie exactly, and hoping for advice as well. My 10 month old is a biter and I can't bear to start telling her no boob because she prefers fresh milk to the pumped stuff in her bottle or when we give her formula. My mom keeps telling me that maybe I should stop since my baby does bite me, but I look at her and I don't think I can say no to her wanting to nurse yet.



And for the record, I had a natural birth with her, but I DID NOT plan it nor did I like it. I will take an epidural next time (I hope)

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/11/2012

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I just don't get why some breastfeeding moms believe they have the right to judge other mom's simply because they made a choice not to breastfeed. If you're anything like me I doubt you like someone coming up and asking you why you're nursing your child in public. Instead of judging why not put yourself in the other person's place? I think it's wrong to judge someone simply because you don't feel they made the right decision based on YOUR personal beliefs.

**Jackie** - posted on 01/11/2012

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I'm not to proud to admit what I am about to say...after giving birth to my beautiful baby girl I was diagnosed with postpartum depression. The medication that I am on would be harmful to my baby if I breast fed. Having said that, she is now 13 months old and perfect and has been formula fed for a year and is now completely off formula and bottles all together.

**Jackie** - posted on 01/11/2012

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Oh, I can understand that Megan. It sounds like you were striking up a conversation. :)

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/11/2012

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I've only asked out of curiousity if the baby has teeth. That's because my 10 month old now has 4 teeth and that can sometimes turn breastfeeding into a painful experiance. Some moms I've met told me they breastfed until the teeth came in.

**Jackie** - posted on 01/11/2012

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I've been given dirty looks when other mothers find out I'm not breastfeeding. How do they know? Because they ask! Oh yes, I've had mothers come up to me with their little ones in hand and ask me if I'm breastfeeding! I tell them no and they want to know why. Ummm.....correct me if I'm wrong but not only is that a little personal but it also doesn't have anything at all to do with you! I have my reasons and whether someone else thinks they are good enough is their own problem. I have absolutely no problem at all with a woman breastfeeding or a woman mixing formula.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/11/2012

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Exactly Candice! None of us are perfect and there is no ONE perfect way to feed or parent a child. Each and every child is different. We should be supportive of moms not feel that we have the right to criticise since we don't believe that what someone did isn't the right choice. You don't understand it, fine. But you should still have the courtesy to respect someone.

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