Why does my husband ignore me?

Rhonda - posted on 01/20/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

165

2

3

He also works at home trading stocks for a living. But still should he ignore me all the time? It pisses me off! Lol he hardly, okay never kisses me no more! Does he still love me? I dress sexy fore him the best i can but he does not notice! Its like i dont exist! Any suggestions? Help me out please.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Meg - posted on 01/21/2012

25

0

5

It could possibly be that you guys see too much of each other on a day to day basis. When both spouses are home things tend to become routine comfortable, leading to a sibing-like relationship as was the case for a friend of mine when her husband also became an at home day trader. They went to counseling and are now happy with each other, although it did lead him to going to coffee shops to work for a bit and then sharing an outside office a few days a week to help make there time together 'special' again. Maybe you can address the subject with him, let him know its not acceptable for you to feel ignored, and that you require signs of affection that he initiates. Some men do need to be told, and reminded! Its not that they don't love you, they just are not used to showing or vocalising it the same way women often do. Also maybe you could try making date time again, pursue each other a bit and bring back some of the romance from the beginning of the relationship. Above all, talk it over. Don't accuse, but ask he hear you out and you will listen to him as well, no interupting. Good luck!

Denise - posted on 01/20/2012

94

0

10

Hi Rhonda.First,of all,Im so sorry you are going through this with your hubby.Secondly,I have a few questions to figure out what the problem may be.Does he have extra stress going on lately?Have you tried to talk to him about how he's making you feel?Are you having financial issues?Okay,so the answers to these questions are important because they could really help.Im not trying to be nosy.I have been in this situation before.So,1st,if there is something going on causing a lot of stress it could affect your husband's mood.Guys are weird.When things aren't right with work or money or health ,they feel like less of a man.These things can make them a bit distant.If that's the case,just give him some time and space to work it out and he'll let you know when he's ok.If,on the other hand,you talked to him about it and he didnt want to talk or didnt give you a good reason then it could be bad.I think that communication is key with this type of issue.I always wonder if my husband is losing interest in me since I gained a lil weight after the kids.When I get this way,I just come out and say what's on my mind.He always reassures me that he loves me the way I am but I wouldn't know if I didnt ask.It can be hard to show affection when you have kids-especially young ones.You get so caught up on being good parents that you forget that you were a couple first.Always try to make time for yourselves.I always say that being with your mate is taking care of yourself.If you dont take good care of yourself ,then you cant take care of your kids.I kinda got off the subject but I hope you get my point and that it helps you.Feel free to msg me back with an update.I will be glad to help.Good luck.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

7 Comments

View replies by

Crystal - posted on 03/08/2013

1

0

0

I'm not sure you know what "lol" means. Nothing you said sounded funny. I am sorry you are having these issues. Men need to be told in exact and simple terms what you expect. Let him know you need affection. Let him know it makes you hurt when he ignores you. Chances are he doesn't even know he's making you feel that way. Worst case, he has a reason and at least he will have an opportunity to tell it.

Meg - posted on 01/22/2012

25

0

5

I was a nanny for a couple with an age gap, and they had similar issues. He did not work at home, but when he was home did not show any signs of affection without her promting him. She discussed this with me a few times when they initially had trouble with it. She ended up implimenting date nights, morning 'couch cuddle and chat time' and evening time with him while I watched the kids. Just voice in exact terms what you want and need to see from him and don't stew over the details too much in your own mind. Help him along the way and encourage him to let you know what he would like from you as well. Silent treatment is passive agressive, I'd just go with an honest conversation. Try to get out more on your own too, and have a social life outside of him. Best!

Rhonda - posted on 01/22/2012

165

2

3

I know for sure we have nofinancial issues. Maybe just the doctors appointments, our baby surgery. I think it is cuz we spend too much time together too. My mom ALWAYS is watching my sisters kids so to puttwo more kids on her is hard. I do not feell comfortable with someone else watching my kids i dont know why but i just dont. It does feel like a sibling relationship. Never gives me a kkiss on his own. Like i have to ask if its alright! Lol i always tell him or say to him, why are you ignoring me, just makes me wanna cry,lol im a baby myself,lol. He is alot older than me too, that could be a really big factor. One time i left the house and he didnt notice, lol. We are not having any sex issues either. Just doing it the same way, lol. Whenever his friends come over he can talk to them while hes working, but with me i take up to much time. The silent treatment does seem like a good idea though, lol. Seems like how it always is anyway. :(

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms