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How have you dealt with the biological mom and the games she would play?

Corina - posted on 01/31/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I can remember my two boys coming home from a weekend visit and it was bedtime. Took all three boys upstairs, read the bedtime story of the night and went to tuck everyone in. Well i got all my hugs n kisses n love you mom from my middle son, but the other two, wow. All of sudden they start crying, crawling up into a ball on their pillows and wouldnt talk to me. I finally left the room and dad stayed and talked to them. Come to find out their "mom" was telling them how much i hate them and are going to hurt them when they come home and it was probably going to happen when they were sleeping. So they were scared of me and even more scared to fall asleep. They were about 4 & 6 at the time. What kind of mom tells children those kinds of stories?? Especially when they arent true and only because she hated me. Those pour boys. I went back upstairs and gave them each an extra toy to sleep with that night, simply kissed their foreheads, when they would finally let me and told them that i loved that and i would see them, safe and sound, in the morning. It was a rough night, but they made it thru, unharmed of course, and felt a little better. This activity went on for a few nights before they realized that i wasnt going to hurt them.

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4 Comments

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Karen - posted on 02/28/2010

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Just stay true to loving those kids...But I will tell you what my mom told me years ago just remember blood is thicker than water and he will always love his mother no matter what she does...Just treat them like you would your own but just know you will not get it in return the way they will love their mother. If you do it and can not expect anything in return and not let your heart get broken then you can do it...I unfortunately got my heart broken but not until he married someone who liked his biological mom more than me and she worked hard for him to not have anything to do with us...It broke my heart but I have to tell myself that I had him during the fun years growing up..I wish you the best of luck..it is not for wimps I can tell you that.....

Monica - posted on 05/26/2009

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That's the best thing to do is not give her importance..........after all we know what kind of relationship we are building with our children(step). Let that be the focus and try really hard not to show the child(ren) that we can't stand her. Of course God is totally in control!

April - posted on 04/02/2009

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That's horrible! My oldest son (stepson) lives with his mom but is constantly telling his mother that he wants to live with us but his mom keeps telling him that if he lives with me that I will make him work in the house and yard all the time and that he will never be able to play. Although he knows that is not true and tells us all the time that she says that but that he doesn't believe it some reason it still irritates me just that she would stoop that low. Sometimes there are just things you have to deal with because no matter how much you don't like them or don't get along with them, they are always going to be around. I just decided to be the better person and smile and pretend that she doesn't bother me!

Sarah - posted on 02/13/2009

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I have dealt with a lot from my husbands ex, and everytme they go up there it seems worst and worst. sometimes its hard, but i just remeber in the long run the children are going to know what is true and what is not. its crazy that people would do that.

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