Step vs. Bio

Marian - posted on 06/01/2012

Without a doubt step parenting!! When I came into my stepsons lives they were 3 and 5...They are now 8 and 10. My husband has custody because the BM (I find this abbreviation slighty humorous!) deserted the boys twice, he filed for divorce and custody and she didnt even show up to court. The BM told my husband that I better not ever spank HER children and that since I didnt have any bio children of my own there was no way I had any say in how the children behave! I now have a 6mnth old daughter but she still thinks I am incapable. She has an on again off again relationship with a man that we have learned not only spanks the boys but uses a belt! I would not spank them but out of respect for my husband and his beliefs, not because she said I can't.

It blows my mind how high and mighty she tries to act when I am the one raising HER children, going to school events, parent/teacher conferences, homework, etc etc...and when they go to her house she doesnt make them shower or brush their teeth or even change their underwear, but then gripes about the clothes the boys take with them because they are not NAME BRAND! Who cares if you dont take a shower as long as you have popular clothes on! How ignorant can I be?? LOL

Kelly - posted on 01/04/2011

i have two step daughters samantha and alexis and 1 biological son his name is connor. The only think difficult with my step children is their biological mother. She tells them they should live with her and not to listen to us etc... but i dont let it affect us here. The words remain the same you dont have to love me you dont have to like me but you will do as you are told in my home because i am the adult ...(thats when they really make me angry with their not doing what their told and then blaming mommy) but mostly i stick with because i am the mom and i said so. Regaurdless of what mommies think and say and how they may want to twist it step moms raising their kids are moms. That said i think moms also take a bad rap from step moms because they have become the scape goat of america some how...

Jackie - posted on 12/03/2010

Rebekah I totally understand how you feel. My stepdaughters mother is constantly telling me how to raise Hallie. Hallie lives with us full time and only gets phone calls from her mother. Bio mom is an alcoholic drug addict who jumps from man to man. We just got custody in May and bio mom has lives in 7 different addresses since then but never close to here. We're in Kansas and last time I kndew biomom was in Ohio with the last boyfriend that she let beat my stepdaughter. I raise Hallie as she was my own and like she really is mine. Bio mom (johnna) is constantly telling me how to raise her daughter and she has no clue who Hallie really is. The way I see it if Hallies going to be in my house then shes going to fiollow my rules.

Rebekah - posted on 11/28/2010

I think step is harder, eventhough my step-son lives with me and he loves me cause I am the one who has been there for him since he was 2, now he is 6. The BM is the problem not the child, he only sees her every other weekend but that is enough to affect him. she has moved like 8 times always getting a new job. she feels like i stepped on her toes but I raise my step-son so I feel like she is stepping on my toes. Just trying to put her behind us and love my life!

Colleen - posted on 05/23/2010

Def. step-parenting! I can say to my bio daughter u will do what i say because I'm ur mother n thats just how it is, I can't say that to my 11 year old step daughter. I have a hard time with her sometimes. She's a sweet heart but has her days where she will not listen to one thing I say.

Jackie - posted on 05/11/2010

I have the same problem. Her mother tells her I'm a b@!#% and told her that she doesnt have to follow my rules.

Sarah - posted on 05/10/2010

step-parenting only because you have a factor there that isn't there with your biological children. With my step son we constantly have the issue of his biological mother putting idea in his head or following different rules at her house then when he would be at home.