when is too old????

Marsha - posted on 01/14/2011

My fiance cuddles every night with his two boys while watching TV or a movie! I had a similar situation. I have been with my fiance for over two years. When I first started dating him his two boys would sleep in the same bed as him (he has 1/2 custody). At the time they were 8 & 10, talk about too old! A year into our relationship and many fights later they go to their own beds. They are now 10 &12 (almost 13.) The oldest adjusted with no issues. The youngest is having issues self soothing and has anxiety issues. Every night he knocks at our door and has a new excuse why he cannot sleep and Dad will lay down with him (enables him, errr!) We have started to put the youngest in theropy to try to control some of these issues. My opinion is cut the cord, and I mean that with much love.

Marsha - posted on 01/14/2011

My fiance cuddles every night with his two boys while watching TV or a movie! I had a similar situation. I have been with my fiance for over two years. When I first started dating him his two boys would sleep in the same bed as him (he has 1/2 custody). At the time they were 8 & 10, talk about too old! A year into our relationship and many fights later they go to their own beds. They are now 10 &12 (almost 13.) The oldest adjusted with no issues. The youngest is having issues self soothing and has anxiety issues. Every night he knocks at our door and has a new excuse why he cannot sleep and Dad will lay down with him (enables him, errr!) We have started to put the youngest in theropy to try to control some of these issues. My opinion is cut the cord, and I mean that with much love.

Rebekah - posted on 11/28/2010

I think 3 is good, I also think that they should only sleep with you if they are scared besides that they should sleep in their own room. My step-son sleeps in his room at our house but at his BMs house he still sleeps with her, he does not ever sleep in his bed at his moms. But whatever, he only is there every other weekend, which is about 4 times a month, but you are right they need their own bed and so do you two.

Gina - posted on 11/27/2010

I think dad needs/wants the cuddles more than the kid! I agree with previous poster that it is a mistake to let the kids sleep in the bed in the first place. Your bf is setting himself up for a bad situation. The child needs to have some independence.

Jackie - posted on 09/20/2010

My personal opinion is that its a bad idea to let your kids sleep with you in the first place. Its a HUGE pain in the butt to get them back out of your bed. I definatley think that the 6 year old shouldnt be in bed with you for sure. My son is 3 and is starting to notice the difference between men and women. Personally I feel that when youre aslep isnt a good time for them to explore their curiosity. My stepdaughter did that with my boyfriend. Shes 11 and we let her lay in bed with us one night long enough to watch a movie. Paul and I fell asleep and I woke up to Hallie pulling his pants away from his body to see his penis.