Kerri - posted on 01/25/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )
We live 700 miles away from my SD and get her for 5 weeks in the summer. We also drive the 700 miles during the year to visit her and other family as well. When we visit she makes excuses of other things she is doing but when my husband doesn't pick her up she calls her mother and tells her that he doesn't want to see her. My husband also calls her all the time and she doesn't pick up and doesn't return his calls. Of course he persists because this is is daughter after all but I'm tired of her games.
Last summer was the breaking point for me. She came for her normal 5 week stay - all was normal. After the first week I noticed changes. My husband is a firefighter and works 24 hour shifts so I am home alone with her which was fine. I caught her on the phone with her mother telling her that I yell at her and punish her all the time and she can't do anything right. My SD is very well behaved and always does what she is asked, there is no reason why I would have to let alone that I would never yell at her or punish her. Of course my husband gets a phone call from her mother and he lays into me about "not having the right to tell his daughter anything". I was so stunned I couldn't even get into the fact that it was my house too and if she was not following my rules I would speak to her about her behavior (oh my God I've turned into my mother!) or to tell him that it was completely false. Later the next week she started talking about having to leave to go home early because she had something for court but she didn't want to leave because she was afraid she would disappoint my husband...long story short it turned into a big dragged out crying fest for my SD. She had her mother on the phone, my husband in the room, and (if you could believe it) she called my mother in law over to my house too! Everyone was fawning over her and telling her it was OK...I was convinced that there was no court date and she just wanted to leave. I told my husband to just call the court to see if she was on the list - he refused. The whole night ended with SD saying she would let us know what she wanted to do by Friday, Yeah I'll just wait on pins and needles. Well Friday and came and low and behold she was going to stay and nothing was ever mentioned about the court date that originally started the mess. Its like they forgot it existed. Before it was such a priority and she HAD to get home and then all of a sudden she was going to stay and that was it...to me it wasn't right.
Since then I cringe at her name, I dread her visits here and our visits there, and if she calls I get on my phone so that I don't have to talk to her. Now I am expecting our first child and am due in July and apparantly SD can't wait to come "take care of her new brother or sister this summer". I feel like the stress of having a new baby will be enough and can't deal with her nonsense! I know this is her brother or sister but I really do not want her here. On top of that my mother will be here to visit when the baby is born and we only have one guest room so we woldn't have anywhere for her to stay. I do not want to be the evil step mother but I really don't know how to like my step daughter again.