4 year old step son

Nichole - posted on 09/29/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I have a 4 year old step whom I love and adore, However, he seems to find any way to defy me and the rules I have. Which believe me, are very few ( I wasnt raised with alot of rules) The rules are pretty basic, don't back talk, don't stick your tongue out and clean up your toys. Seems simple right? He tells me he doesnt like me and everything else, my husband says it's just a phase, I've been around childeren all my life, I have 7 seven nephews and 2 neices. I just don't feel that this is a phase.


Any suggestions?

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Dawn - posted on 09/30/2009

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Quoting nichole:

4 year old step son

I have a 4 year old step whom I love and adore, However, he seems to find any way to defy me and the rules I have. Which believe me, are very few ( I wasnt raised with alot of rules) The rules are pretty basic, don't back talk, don't stick your tongue out and clean up your toys. Seems simple right? He tells me he doesnt like me and everything else, my husband says it's just a phase, I've been around childeren all my life, I have 7 seven nephews and 2 neices. I just don't feel that this is a phase.


Any suggestions?



Im a step mom of 2 kids...when my husband and I were married they were 4 and 7. It was tough in the beginning because me and their mother did not get along. They would repeat what she would say and over time i just let them know that this was our house and both houses have seperate rules but here you obey these. I told them every night that  I loved them before tucking them to bed and now 5 yrs later they want me to be with them all the time

Jackie - posted on 09/29/2009

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yes that is very messed up i know how you feel is there a private place to talk on here

Nichole - posted on 09/29/2009

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that could be, I never thought of a four year having anger issues, but with If I lived that life I would messed up too, we're trying to get full custody but the only thing we can prove her unfit with is that when all 3 kids are there they share a small room in a trailer, and the house is immaculate, so I don't know, It's so messed up and c onfusing.

Jackie - posted on 09/29/2009

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well it may very well be the reason also so it sounds like he is dealing with alot of mix up for a 4 yr old ask his doctor if there is anything he/she would suggest on doing they could also reamind a specialist for him to just talk to or a agure class for his age it is possible he just has angre issues an doesnt know how to deal with things so he lashes out

Nichole - posted on 09/29/2009

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we have joint custody, so he's with us a week, then with her a week. He has 2 sisters, one is 7 months, and the other is 4, 10 days younger than he is (It's a messed up situation, as in my husbands ex wife married his sisters ex husband, there for my SS has a sister cousin) I don't know if maybe that has something to do with it or not.

Jackie - posted on 09/29/2009

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does he see his mom offten or just every once in awhile that could alsobe the issue not youjust her that he wants to see her more an that is why he acts up he also may be doing it for not your attention but your husbands he may want more from himan not you an it may be both is there a baby around he could also think if thre is ababy that the baby gets more than him

Nichole - posted on 09/29/2009

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we've been together almost 3 years. They've been split up almost 4. So My step son was pretty young when we got together. I've tried the rewards system, We've done fun things, I have a playground in my back yard, he earns that by being good, ya know just the normal things that anyone would with there child, if he's relativly good all week we do a weekend camp out in the living room, we set up the tent and he sleeps in it, we bake, I mean there's lots of fun things, I don't push him to do anything, I've even made games for learning and he still just defys me.

Jackie - posted on 09/29/2009

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ok how long ahve you an your husband been together an how long ago did his parents split up that is it if all he knows for the most part is mommy an daddy then that is what he wants not what he sees dont push him to do it make a game out of things that he may like doing them that way you dont look like thet bad guy he may feel you are

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