7YO SD doesnt wipe

Leslie - posted on 10/06/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )

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Truly concerned that BM is not doing a good job of monitoring SD's hygiene. Everytime I do her laundry there is severe poop and pee stains on ALL of her underwear. When I try and talk to her about it, she just stares at me like a deer in headlights when I ask her why she "forgets" to wipe when she goes potty. Since she's only here every other weekend and 1 night a week during the school year, its hard to monitor. We worked really hard during the summer (when she was here full time) to work on these things and made progress. Then 1 month at home with BM and she is rude, talks back, is very forgetful, and irresponsible.



How do I teach her to take better care of her body?

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Vanessa - posted on 10/17/2010

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Donna... still can't aim at 8?! Is it a lazy thing or doesn't he understand the....concept??
I taught my son to aim by letting him pee off the back deck and aim for the dog. The dog was never in any danger from a two year old, but it worked a treat! LOL My hubby at the time was horrified - but hey, whatever works right?
If it's a lazy thing.... why not give him a spray bottle of spray and wipe...same sort of thing, and tell him he has to wipe down the loo after each use if he can't aim properly... could help! he'll soon get sick of that!!

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Donna - posted on 10/18/2010

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fair enough will give it a go...I find myself teaching my SK how to do everything...I dont understand some days...is it just cause BM cant be bottered or does she think there isnt a problem...I pride myself on teaching my children the way of life (dos and donts) I want them to be independant, responsible and self thinkers by the time they are teenagers im certain I will not be making there beds and whipping there arses at 15 just to name a few...im deffinately not there slave!

Vanessa - posted on 10/18/2010

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Donna -- so do i! As I say daily - I do not have slave written across my forehead!
Leslie --- my SD was also very.... whiffy in her ladies area, so I got her some of those feminine hygiene wipes and got her to clean herself with one every morning (she showers at night) and I don't allow her to wear undies to bed anymore (allows the area to breathe). Perhaps if you do same, you'll find out if she's wetting herself on purpose or not... just a thought.. my SD's BM chucked a mental and I simply said that her daughter was whiffy so if she couldn't help her - I would!

Donna - posted on 10/17/2010

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I think its a bit of laziness my son who is 5 has a misaim now and then but he has to go back and wipe it up...lol I hate cleaning pee, and so does he now hehehe maybe the same should apply...but then I would have to follow each to the loo each time they go...they dont like to own to there wrong doings

Donna - posted on 10/16/2010

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I did the same with my son at 4 when he got lazy and never made it to the loo in time....i made him scrub and he never did it again....my SD is 5 and still isnt clean down there even wont wear knickers alot of the time...eeekkkk BM is not the type of person I like to have these kinds of convos with...but clearly SK are not learning anything at home...I think what is worse is that SS (8) still can not aim...very fustrating when there father is working most of the time and i have to deal with SK plus my 2....

Vanessa - posted on 10/15/2010

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My 4yr old SD has learned very very fast!
I put a massive pile of her poopy undies in the bathroom and gave her a piece of soap and said "wash!"
She looked at me horrified and said --- "but they've got poo on them!!!"
I then said "exactly! I'm happy to do your washing, but I don't have slave written across my forehead. We have a baby coming soon who will be in nappies - I don't need two babies in the house. If you persist this way, it's back into pullups for you!"
Needless to say she started washing her undies. Every day I'd give her her pile of knickers and in total it took three days of her standing at the sink to get the gist that it's much easier to keep her butt clean!

Hope - posted on 10/12/2010

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I think it's the age. I constantly have to tell my 6YO DD how she should be wiping, etc. I also got accused by my ex husband's new wife that I wasn't taking care of her properly...lol.

Tammy - posted on 10/11/2010

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Wow! I thought that I was the only one with that problem. My SD will be 12 next week. I guess she was 10 1/2 before she quit doing all that.

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I would suggest that maybe she doesn't know how to wipe properly?? But you said that you had made progress over the summer... I would try talking to her and saying that she could get really sick if she doesn't make sure she wipes good because pee and poop is bad if it stays on anything down there. Then she wouldn't be able to do a lot of things that she likes to do cuz she would be sick. The might motivate her a little bit. Kinda like the saying "an apple a day keeps the doctor away", you can say something to the affect of taking time to wipe clean will keep me healthy so i can play... doesn't rhyme, but it might help. good luck :)

Tammy - posted on 10/08/2010

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I have the same kind of issues with my sd. She obviously doesnt shower the way she should, doesn't change her clothes, including underwear so they are always crusty and gross when I wash them... As for your situation...is it possible that she is not provided with toilet paper at the BM's house? I knew a girl who was only allowed to use so many squares of toilet paper. Maybe, they can't afford or don't want to spend money on toiletries so your SD thinks she's helping financially...I know its sad thoughts...but not impossible.

Leslie - posted on 10/07/2010

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Currently I let her suggest her own consequences. Then if I don't feel they are severe enough for the situation I suggest an alternative. I told her that if I see any poop stained underwear in her laundry this month - there will be no trick-or-treating. She got super serious looking and suggested she lose her Barbies for a week instead . . . which means I picked a good consequence. So know its up to her. I told her everytime she sits down on the potty at school I want her to think about trick-or-treating and use that as a reminder to wipe really good. We'll see if that works.

Brittanie - posted on 10/06/2010

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I am sorry to say I have no advice, but I can tell you that I have the same problem. My SD is now 9 and still has the same problem. We just throw out her undies if they have stains now.

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