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Advice about rude mom's.

Rachael - posted on 09/25/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I replied to a stepmothers post regarding her stepson and his gross ways (the way he eats, hygenine issues, and poop problems; he is 15). I could 100% relate to her situation. I told her my "story" and my frustrations did come out. Two "moms" practically wrote me a book saying shame on me, calling me wicked, cruel, etc. I am nothing of the sort, I am a loving stepmother and have helped raise "T" since he was 7, he is now 12. My fiance has full custody. I am the one who does it all...school, doctor, dentist...sports etc.



The woman even made attacks because I referred to "T" as my stepson not my son. My reply said things like "he eats like a starving kid" and "smears his poop and I told my stepson its disgusting." I did say in the post...not to "T" that he eats like a slob...but it was BAD for a long time and has drastically improved. I told the SM who made the post to not back down and stand her ground, her husband made excuses etc for his son's behavior. Again, I could relate to her. I said that telling the truth sometimes the brutal truth is needed. Point being is being a stepmother is hard....and I felt her pain and frustraion.



I could not believe how crappy the women's replies were to me. One woman replied 4x....like 5 paragraphs long each time. Even after I explained my situation a little more they kept going. I said why we have custody to try to give some background...and said how his family said I was the best thing that happened to him etc. One lady said look what they have to compare you to (referring to his bio mom). Also saying just because I am the better mom does not mean I am a good mom....SERIOUSLY!!!



I have decided not to reply to them and feed into it. Has anyone else experienced this or anything like this? Would love to hear your input.

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3 Comments

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Penny - posted on 09/26/2011

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I'd report the whole conversation to the administrator of the group and let them sort through it all. Maybe even forward the conversations to them or CoM leaders. This IS a place to come and vent and let go of some of the stresses of being a step-mom, not to judge. Good luck with everything!

Rachael - posted on 09/26/2011

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Thank you Larissa. I agree, I do not have anything nice to say about BM either. And you are right, they are not getting the full story to be so judgemental towards anyone. I said to the pushy rude mom that she does not live in my home to make judgements...of course she replied she does not need to live in my home to see the problem. Thank you for your kind words...makes me feel better.

Larissa - posted on 09/26/2011

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I kind of have, just a little bit, but not to the extent that you have. I think thats wrong, we are here to uplift each other and give advise, not be judgemental. No one knows our full story, there are years and years full of experiences with our stepkids that we couldnt possible fit into a few paragraphs when asking for advise. People need to realize they are not getting the whole story. Because I spoke poorly about my SDs BM (theres nothing nice to say) to explain my situation and let people know what she's like while explaining my story I was told if I speak poorly about her the kids will not like me. Not even sure how that made sense, i have NEVER spoke ill about her in front of my SDs, and yet they jumped to that conclusion. I think this should be a place to vent. We all need it. Vent to me anytime you wan, I wont be rude to you!!!

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