all these stories are like mine... (very long)

Blanche Myra - posted on 02/11/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

I have a SS who's 13 going on 14.. It has been a NIGHTMARE from the beginning and I should have seen it.. the first time i saw his biomom she saw me in the car and yanked my SS away from my husband and dragged him back into the house!! it has been a rollercoaster... there were times in the beginning after about 5 months where I was mediating my husband and biomom.. which worked out great.. I would go over and actually go in and pick her son up who was 5 at the time.. There were times where both parties took vacations and it was talked about who had my SS.. It worked out great.. THEN i got proposed to.. then all of the attacks came on.. *I want him on your health insurance* i don't want HER (meaning me) anywhere near me.. my husband has tried and tried it has been awful for him before i came along.. he never really saw his son.. she only allowed 6 hours a week!! is that CRAZY or what!! So the day she found out we got engaged she called my husband SCREAMING at him for buying me a diamond.. the funny thing was.. they were not together for almost 5 years!! she was IN a relationship for about 3 years!! So then my husband told her she had to get used to me being around because we were getting married.. well this GREAT PERSON went and filed a RESTRAINING order on my husband!!! saying ALL lies sat up on the stand and cried.. this biomom can turn on tears like you wouldn't believe!! she should have been an actress.. she made all FALSE statements we even hired a lawyer thinking that would help us.. Nope 1000$$ WASTED.. So when we got married she went on VACATION that weekend and told her mother NOT to let my SS to the wedding.. so my SS didn't even attend our wedding.. so sad because he looks at those pics and thinks why wasn't i there.. my father didn't want me there.. Its just sad.. so talking to her mother and best friend (because i'm a very good person get along with anyone!) and she is telling everyone that WE DIDN"T INVITE MY SS to the wedding!!! it's crazy!! then after we got married she got engaged to a man that was in PRISON.. the day he got out she moved him into her apt without telling her son!! she sent him off for the weekend and when he came back there was a man in his house that he NEVER MET!! of course he talked to him on the phone but come on people!! BUT once this man was there and she was "happy" our lives were alot easier.. Then almost a year later they got married 2 WEEKS before he went to prison for 10 years!!!! i know i know crazy!! the crazy thing is.. she even brought my SS to visit him in prison!! without consulting my husband.. when he found out he brought it up to her and she said "i dont care that is his step father!!" i was like ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! I was kinda bothered because i EARNED the "step" in front of Mom.. I ADORE this boy.. I do everything with him for him.. so needless to say he marriage didn't work out.. 5 months later.. she was "single" again.. Then we found out we were pregnant and we were going to court for MORE visitation on paper because we saw him then didn't.. depending on her mood.. we had to wait till after court and i was almost 5 months to tell my SS because his mother would pull a nutty in court and we NEVER know what she will pull... Since then its still been rollercoaster.. Never knowing when it will get better.. He is older now and seeing alot of what he couldn't see when he was younger.. Its hard because he wants to live with us but he feels bad because it's his mother.. I totally understand so there is no pressure whats so ever from us.. a year ago a verbal agreement between biomom and us my SS came and lived with us for almost 6 months there were 3 months where he didn't even see her.. She agreed to give my husband back his child support and only half the time she did.. SOO we served her with papers to have him live with us.. my SS went for a visit and we didn't see him for 2 months.. She kept him and countered for MORE CHILD SUPPORT!! So needless to say she got it.. she got more child support for NOT having her son.. we found out too that when she wasn't paying us.. she ended up going and getting a boob job!! drives me nuts.. how a person can be like this.. its crazy.. i could never.. and my husband and i ALWAYS try and do whats best for my SS.. we are the only ones that do.. so since then my SS has been living with biomom's mom.. So about 7 months ago the bio-mom had an altercation with someone and ended up getting really hurt (brain injury).. She will not give us my SS so she can get better.. we have said 6 months.. just so she can focus on herself.. because we all want her to get better for her son.. but even being near death.. hasn't changed her.. she contacted my husband and I and talked to us and said she wanted her son to live with us she didn't want her mother in total control so we were like ABSOLUTELY.. my SS didn't want to come he likes living at his grandmothers because she spoils him buys him whatever he wants waits on him hand and foot.. so the biomom turned it around on us to my SS saying it was us.. so he didn't want to come over for about 2 months because he thought we were going to take him from his grandmothers... about 3 weeks ago she had a Grand Mal seizure from her injurys and now my SS is living back with her and she said she has a doctors note to drive.. I'm sorry ive had friends that have had seizures and the doctor will tell you not to drive for 6 months.. my husband tries to talk to her but she gets really defensive.. We just don't know what to do.. she never thought of her son and obviously still isn't.. I'm going crazy thinking she's driving with him.. what if she has a one while she driving with him!! even without him.. she could be killed or she can hurt someone else! we don't kow where to go from here.. I wish we had more support from the court system but i just think they are really F*&^%! I think i have everyones story mixed into one! thanks for letting me vent and share my life :)