Baby Shower Gifts for Step Child

Corey - posted on 10/19/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I think that it would be appropriate if guests to the baby shower brought a small something for my step daughter Haley who is going to be 10 in Janurary. Is this not appropriate ... I've heard of an older child getting gifts before. Should I put on the invitation that a small gift for Haley would be appreciated? Or just hope people know she'll be there. I have been trying my hardest to include Haley in everything that involves the baby . I don't want her to feel any less important or left out.

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Taryn - posted on 10/21/2011

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I feel where you coming from - Im expecting my 2nd and have a 8 year old SD.

I think that while its important for you to make her feel included you also don't want to set a precedence for every occasion that is going to be important for you new baby. Will she get gifts every time your new baby has a birthday etc... or will you buy your new baby gifts on your SD big days? no.. but it is important she feel included.

You can do that lots of other ways - as in asking her to help with or pick out some of the decorations, make invitations other your a special big sis stuff. If YOU want to get her a little something special to let her know how amazing and wonderful being a big sister is and how proud YOU are of her for all she is that is great ( big sis necklace she can wear to the party, special shirt etc). You can also do things like let her pick the gifts from the pile to open first, or give her a disposable camera to record pictures etc.

You can really make her feel involved without making the baby shower about something other then the joy of your first bio baby. I know its hard trying to make her feel important and still enjoy the extremely amazing experience that IS your first child - but don't set yourself up for the expectation the the baby will never deserve to have an event just there own.

Thats just my person opinion based on my own experience though and You know your sd and your relationship best. good luck

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Taryn - posted on 10/22/2011

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Glad to help - we step moms go through so much emotional turmoil its nice to have at least some positive outcome lol!

Corey - posted on 10/22/2011

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wow Taryn. I really like your advice. It all makes sense and is perfectly reasonable. Thank You so much

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