Bad behavior, at the end of my rope.

Sarah - posted on 07/08/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Before My oldest stepdaughter started Kindergarten we took my my SDs every ther week. When she started kindergarden we took them every other weekend since we live 2 hours away and to drive that long for a day and a half visit was to much for them and us. Anyway, just so you understand the backstory I've been in my SDS lives since Ady was 6months and Audrie was 2 1/2 They've grown up knowing life as daddy and Sarah not mommy and daddy. We didn't have any problems at first but when I got pregnant with my first their mother also got pregnant so they got 2 baby sisters at once. The oldest delt with it really well but the youngest really regressed an started acting out. My daughter is almost 18months now and it has gotten progressivly worse to the point where it has brought me and my husband to tears.

She is physically abusive to both her sisters, and I mean more than the sibling pinch. slaps, and kicks. Sh threw a play laptop at my 1 year old for wearing her old shorts, hit her sister with a lava lamp becuase she wasn't listening to her, it goes on.... She is loud, rude and defiant. she does things on purpose in front of us knowing it will make us angry. she doesn't just act this way at our house she does it at her moms as well. Her mom chooses to feed into the behavior. Adasyn throws a tantrum for something, ok well Ady can have it. Ady didn't listen oh well, she is a kid. Ady just hit her sister, Ady come on don't do that. She has no structure or rules. I'm not a rule-a-sarus but I do have basic rules and yes, they do have consequenses for not being followed.

My problem is, nothing works for her NOTHING. I've tried postive reinforcement, one on one time, time outs etc and she just continues with this behaviour. I grew up twith 2 sisters who had ADHD I can stand the hyperactive, defiant kid but she is just beyond me and I don't know what to do! It has come to the point where I dred taking them and I don't want to feel that way I love my babies! I know its hard to adjust from no rules to some rules but it has gone on for too long. any advice?

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I don't know the whole story but just wanted to add in that your SD may be acting out to gain attention. She was used to being the baby and now is the middle child in both mom and dad's families. My youngest sister was 11 years old when my oldest sister had her daughter. My youngest sister was used to being the baby of the family. It was hard for her to accept that she was no longer the baby. Even now, almost 4 years later my youngest sister, to a point still resents my niece. She's sometimes mean to her and will purposely favor my daughter just to try to hurt my niece. Maybe you guys can come up with some sort of rewards program and have her earn special time with you and your husband. It could be something simple like an extra bed time story, a trip to the park with just dad and Sarah, etc. Hope this helps.

Megan - posted on 07/12/2011

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yes she need sto get evailuated ASAP for any abnormal type of behavior
does she live with BM mostly now? sorry was a bit confused with your story every child goes through an adjustment period some take longer some take shorter - just all depends.
I fear when my 2 BIO s come back from their BDs they will treat me with the upmost disrespect!

LeeAnna - posted on 07/11/2011

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sounds like she may have more the ADD going on id suggest taking her to a family doctor good luck lady and hang in there!

Sarah - posted on 07/08/2011

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oh, I forgot to mention during the summer we go back to every other week, and she is 4 1/2 years old.

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