Emily - posted on 06/04/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )
Moms and stepmoms have a lot going against us. Women have a harder time with the idea of children bonding with someone new than men do. We've just gone through divorces that are often very ugly and have battled with our exes in ways that bring out the worst in everyone. Then there's the pervasive assumption that moms and stepmoms just can't get along - we're bound to be enemies.
I believe that we need to change our fundamental assumptions about co-mama relationships. A good woman in your child's other home can be your best ally. Early in our stepfamily relationship, my therapist told me that women often end up getting along better with each other than the two biological parents do. We're both women! We didn't divorce each other! If we can get past the stereotypes it's often easier for us to see eye-to-eye.
If you're a stepmom who's already started building a healthy relationship with your child's other mother, please join us at Co-Mamas / Step-Wives to talk about how we succeeded and what we're doing to support that relationship. If things are difficult, let's talk here about how they can get better.