BM acting very weird since i got pregnant.....

Sara - posted on 10/07/2009

I had tried several times to open the communication between my SS's BM and I for 4 years. Then my husband and I decided to have a baby and when she found out I was pregnant the flood gates opened. I was very suspicious and hesitant at first. Sometimes I still am. But the only thing I can think of is that now she's sees that we have something in common, we are both mothers. And like it or not, we are stuck with each other now because our families are blended. It is hard, even now ~ 8 months after my son was born. But do what is best for you and your family and you will be fine!

Krista - posted on 10/07/2009

All I can say is that I'm having similar issues with my SD's BM. She is asking to babysit and have "girls" weekends with her daughter (she's 17) and mine (I"m having a girl). It will be a cold day in hell before my daughter spends anytime with that woman. But because of my SD I don't tell her mother exactly how I feel. My advice is to be polite and remember that this is your baby and she really has nothing to do with your child except that she is the mother of your child's sibling!

Traci - posted on 10/06/2009

My step-sons BM did the same thing except for the pills. She would even tell me husband that I will probably want more kids after our first one together. She is right, but I would never let her know that. I was always polite to her because of my step-sons, but I didn't share a lot of information with her. She did not know I had my son until we came home from the hospital. She is also usually only nice right before she is about to either take my husband to court or start up something. Not a very trustworthy person. Listen to your dr and don't take anything that anyone gives. The health of you and your baby is the most important thing. I hope all works out for you! Good luck!!

Jessica - posted on 10/06/2009

Quoting Holly:

I know my daughter's bm was really into my pregnancy and would always ask how I was doing and want to touch my belly (umm no!!!). SHe owuld tell me how "cute" I was when I ws pregnant and try to talk to me about being pregnant and everything she remembered. She even tried to talk to me about breastfeeding (as I was breastfeeding my daughter when she was 2 weeks old) and how she tried really hard, but couldn't do it (which was a lie - my hubby and MIL have told me she had no interest in it whatsoever... but I digress...).

I think it may be due to the fact that she knew she wasn't going to have another baby and she has already lost her existing daughter (she has very little contact and lives over 1600 miles away from us). I think she was trying to relive it all through me and reassure herself of the fact that she did in fact give birth, even though she takes no responsibility for her child now.

My daughter's bm is also one of those people who will not do anything nice unless it benefits her. I really do think it just made her feel so self-righteous. It's the whole "Oh I know what I'm talking about and you don't because I've been there before and you haven't" thing. She thinks she knows everything and wants to make herself feel better by telling herself that you don't know a darn thing, so she needs to help you.

I hope that made some sense! Just ignore her and do what you know is best. I hope you've flushed the pills and make sure your hubby never takes any more from her (because it is illegal to posses pills you do not have a prescription for).

Haha!  Are you sure that my SD's BM isn't the same woman as yours Holly?!?!?!  Lol!  I have never been pregnant, but we are planning on having a boatload of kids, and I would bet money that she would act the same way.  Many of our stories are very similar, and most of the time, have to do her getting attention and looking like a knowledgable mother.  She also likes to pretend that since she actually gave birth to my SD, she must know more, and it is her job to "educate" me.  She didn't breast feed either (she was a stripper at the time, and I think she was worried about sagging, and also had no interest) and tried to convince everyone that my SD was lactose-intolerant, even changing her completely over to soy.  Funny how my SD was with my hubby three weeks out of four, and seemed to tolerate milk just fine :)

Good luck with the pregnancy Amber!  Limit the info that you give the BM, and maybe she'll start to take the hint....

Bristol - posted on 10/05/2009

Wow, that woman needs to learn the meaning of "BOUNDARIES". She may be his baby mama, but this is not her kid, or relationship. I think it's really creepy that she wants you to let your kid hang with her...I would set a nice big healthy boundary with her, just let her know that she is being too pushy and that it's your decision with the pill thing. I would ask her to back off, in the nicest way that can be done. She sounds strange, and if your instincts are telling you to look out for those red flags, trust them!

Amber - posted on 10/05/2009

thank you!! april 5th!

Holly - posted on 10/05/2009

oh, and congrats on the baby! when are you due? :)

Holly - posted on 10/05/2009

I know my daughter's bm was really into my pregnancy and would always ask how I was doing and want to touch my belly (umm no!!!). SHe owuld tell me how "cute" I was when I ws pregnant and try to talk to me about being pregnant and everything she remembered. She even tried to talk to me about breastfeeding (as I was breastfeeding my daughter when she was 2 weeks old) and how she tried really hard, but couldn't do it (which was a lie - my hubby and MIL have told me she had no interest in it whatsoever... but I digress...).



I think it may be due to the fact that she knew she wasn't going to have another baby and she has already lost her existing daughter (she has very little contact and lives over 1600 miles away from us). I think she was trying to relive it all through me and reassure herself of the fact that she did in fact give birth, even though she takes no responsibility for her child now.



My daughter's bm is also one of those people who will not do anything nice unless it benefits her. I really do think it just made her feel so self-righteous. It's the whole "Oh I know what I'm talking about and you don't because I've been there before and you haven't" thing. She thinks she knows everything and wants to make herself feel better by telling herself that you don't know a darn thing, so she needs to help you.



I hope that made some sense! Just ignore her and do what you know is best. I hope you've flushed the pills and make sure your hubby never takes any more from her (because it is illegal to posses pills you do not have a prescription for).