BM Keeps taking SD clothes !!!

Sonya - posted on 09/15/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I don't understand this at all ?? I understand that my SD is afraid of hurting her BM feelings if she confronts her about taking her stuff because since my SK that are 8 year old SS and 10 year old SD visits with thier grandparents every other weekend on BM side ofcourse they tend to leave clothes there right so they have things to wear when they get out of the shower, well BM hardley comes around so I think when she does come around she tends to go through my SD things and she takes what she wants and leaves, now I am curious as to how is BM even getting in and thats when thier grandma comes to my mind, and she's even told me she is tired of it because just last week BM I guess was going to take my SD skinny jeans and she hid them under my daughters bed in a black bag. My daughter was crying her eys out, that is until her grandma found them, so BM hasn't been around since then, because I know she knows she did wrong !! Oh and since it started to drizzle alittle today I asked my 10yr. old wheres the Hello Kitty jacket at and she said she didn't know she thinks her mom might have taken it, now BM is not staying with grandma and is in and out of there lives, what can I do to make this stop this is too much a 28 year old taking from her own 10 yr. old daughter ??? Help please guys .......I am ready to blow up on this lady........another thing by the way I am trying to get this through my SD head that she needs to stop wearing her moms things and she needs to take back BM clothes so she can stop taking HER clothes (even though she told my daughter "no its okay you can wear any of my clothes" , yet my daughter didn't say the same for BM in other words I don't think she would have thought her BM would end up taking her clothes and this is not just a day or two this turns into months, and why is BM giving my SD her old clothes is she trying to trade in her old clothes for my daughters new clothes this is so petty I am very disturbed by all this, the thing that disturbs me the most is that my husband hasn't said a word yet I will not hold my tongue on this one, not this time......I think my plan is to bag up all BM clothes that are in my house and give it to her face to face and tell her to stop taking my daughters things because I fear that this will continue until it is addressed......this isn't right we are not buying clothes for her these clothes are for my daughter!! My daughter is probably too afraid to hurt BM feelings to say anything and grandparents are proably afraid of her too but I'm not Im just fed up !!! Any suggestions ladies ??

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Christine - posted on 09/15/2009

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Does BM actually -wear- your SD's clothes?! Weird, man!



I would keep trying to get the hubby on board for asking the BM where these clothes are disappearing to! It is absolutely true - you are NOT buying clothes for that woman, you are buying them for your child! I think maybe this is something either the hubby, or you AND the hubby should confront her on. It might just be too much to ask of your daughter to do it herself because she might feel bad about accusing her BM of taking her stuff, or just be uncomfortable doing it.



Can you ask Grandma and Grandpa to keep tabs on her clothes? Maybe have somehwere out in the open where they can be kept until it's time to change? Sound like a bit much, but who wants to keep clothing a 28 year old!



Lol, in case you couldn't tell, selfish parents who take things from their children get me ALL fired up!



I would absolutely rid your house of that woman's clothing... She may think she is "trading" or that when SD has stuff of hers, it is her "right" to take SD's clothes or that she is "owed" something in return.



Another (extreme) measure my fiance and I had to take was having an "M-Day" dresser full of clothing because BM kept RUINING all my son's clothes! She would not take him to the bathroom/ change his diapers (pre-potty training) so there was always pee or poop in/on them, or feed him tons of chocolate ice cream, etc and not watch him while he ate, so it got allllll over his clothes. Since her visitation was at the mall, she would then go buy him new clothes and wad his dirty clothes up in a plastic bag and carry it around all day and then give us back this dirty, reeking bag of clothes! Needless to say, most bags just got tossed out because the clothes inside were so FUBAR.



Finally I just had enough... My fiance and I work hard for our money that we use to buy Damien clothes, but we CERTAINLY don't make enough to keep REPLACING clothes that she ruined. We came up with the idea to have clothes that my fiance's mom bought at garage sales as designated play/"M-Day" clothes so that it wasn't nearly as heart breaking when they got destroyed. Just a thought... Extreme, but it has saved us a TON of money, since now we don't have to replace ruined clothes every week.



Good luck, dear... I hope things work out for you!

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