Katelyn - posted on 07/24/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )
I am 23 and have been in a relationship with an amazing man for over two years. He has a son who will be 4 in October, and has been the primary caretaker since he was around 8 months old. Since the day that I met that little boy he has called me mom, or mommy Kate. When my bf and I were first together, the little boy would go to his granny's house since my bf and I both worked alot, just for the day. I got pregnant and was so sick that I couldnt work so the little boy (Marcus) stayed at home with me. His birth mother hardly called and the only reason she wanted him was to show him off on holidays to her family. She went a period of ver 4 months without seeing him or calling to check on him. To make a long story short, thats how it is to this day. The most she has him for is 3 or 4 days. She expects us to send him over there in his good clothes and shoes, even though she has never once supported him financially at all. Mind you we do all the driving since she refuses to work and has no car. I am pretty sure that she is receiving benifits from the government for a child that she does not raise. We had a another son who will be a year in August and I make sure that they both know no different that just because I did not give birth to my SS that I love him any less. Not a day goes by that my SS says i grew in your heart and my brother grew in your belly. Truly my BF and I want nothing but the best for our children.
To continue, the Bm and I have had a strained relationship, not always on her, she lets her friends say alot, and its hard not to feed into it. She never wants to be around when I bring my SS to her, she always makes her new Bf come to the door. I have always wanted to talk to her to tell her I am not here to replace you, I am just supprting my BF and with that have received an amazing gift my SS.
Ovbiously my SS and I have our days where I cry and hes really mean to his brother and I. Mostly its when he returns from his BM house. He hits and screams and throws tantrums and is really really mean to his brother, mind you none of the is tolerated at our house. How can we help transition him back when he gets back?
To make a super long story short, because our finances are strained, we can not afford to take her to court to gain custody and child support. Any suggestions that would help us out would be greatly appreciated!!