Circle of Mom's Stalking

Sandy - posted on 04/17/2009

I don't think anyone disagrees that the stalking and harrassing is crazy. I have seen conversations before between Jamie and Heidi and found Heidi to be very difficult and have commented before on some of the things that she does that I haven't agreed with. I was actually commenting though on not letting ourselves be lowered to a level that intelligent mature adults not need to go. Deal with it in other ways. While I can understand some of the anger on both sides all of this is just not going to make anything better.

Jaime - posted on 04/17/2009

Heather- all I can say is let it go. We all know about the stalking, and the many pm's, I wouldn't even respond to what she has to say anymore. It makes her feel good, belittling others is the only conclusion I can come up with. I know from experience it is easier said then done.

Fran - I read and posted on your nasty email conversation. From what I gather our situations are farely similar and I would think you could recognize another bm that is out to TRY and make a sm's life miserable (not that she is accomplishing that with me).

If you search through some of the other conversations you maybe able to see the real side of Heidi. You are entiltled to your opnions but so is everyone else.

Angela - posted on 04/16/2009

wow has this been a hot potato!!! At no point has heather tried to hide anything about herself and shown a one sided arguement. The point of this particular conversation is that STALKING is NOT ACCEPTABLE. Who says what and when and how is totally irrelevent. Go cry fran, have your opinions but they are not to do with stalking, they are personal and this is about an action. We pray for ppl like Hiedi who are obviously mentally ill. We can pray for you too. I would hate to feel so angry all the time. I love the forums and the new and wonderful friendships I have made. This is a place to grow and learn. Opinions are one thing but getting personal is quite another. God bless

Heather - posted on 04/16/2009

Quoting Francesca:

why show every1 this?? its like you want a response!! but the thing is you haven't shown what you have written. Im not here to belittle any1 but i have seen wat you have written on some forums and think that you are a rude girl!! but that is my opinion. we are aloud to!!!???

I posted it to show you how she is.  you want my responses here they are:

I would appreciate if you would leave me and the rest of us alone. We don't want to hear from you and we don't care what you have to say. My kids have a wonderful life and couldn't have a better one. And I don't understand why you send the private messages. You know it will be posted for others to see your true colors. Leave us alone. We have already reported you to the administrator for harassment and I will be forwarding this as well.  And you have said mutiple times that you are done with us yet your keep coming back to harass. You don't know anything about my situtation. You have aired your dirty laundry all through out COM's. You are psychotic and a stalker. Get a life Heidi and leave us alone. If you don't care what we say then why respond on any forums that we have posted on with regards to you? You don't see us joining your forums and posting harassing comments to you do you? Didn't think so. We don't harass you it's the other way around. When we start following you and posting harassing comments then you'll have a reason to be a crazy bitch. So far we haven't so you can't.

You say I am crazy but you can't seem to stop emailing me. It's not pathetic for me to post any of this. You are ridiculous. You seem to need to have the last word. I'm not sure why but whatever. And the whole point of this is for everyone to put their "two cents" in. These are advice forums. Thats what this is for, so that everyone can give their point and advice. If you don't understand that you are seriously inept. I will post this and I will report this. You are the one that cannot leave things alone and seek us out. Not the other way around. You have nothing better to do than to harass us. I don't really understand how you have time for Tanner when all you do is stalk us. But thats ok. If it makes you feel like a bigger person to be rude and harass people then by all means go for it. We all know what kind of person you are. You have proved that through your many posts. And just a side note: You said that we all need further schooling because we aren't intelligent. Please reread some of your posts on here and tell me who has grammar issues.

Leigh - posted on 04/16/2009

I think everyone needs to grow up and stop the name calling we are all adults.

Sandy - posted on 04/16/2009

I'm sure I've probably even talked to this Heidi person as the name is familiar.  And sometimes I don't agree with what is written but I always try to be at least respectful

Sandy - posted on 04/16/2009

Two sides to every story and of course the real truth lies somewhere in between.  Of course all the stalking and craziness should be dealt with but, I've scrolled up thinking maybe I missed or misread something and seems to me some of the things that were said early on didn't warrant the response they got.  But isn't that the point of everyone being able to put in their two cents?  Sometimes we agree sometimes we don't.  But its all input

Heather - posted on 04/16/2009

WOW!  Reading through all these post.... I'm kinda stunned.  I can understand your plight, Heather.  It is unfortunate that there are people like this out there.  I am a mom and a step-mom, and can understand both sides of things. 

I agree with many others who have stated speak what you will.  If you get a message from her or a post, just delete it.  Don't even read it, because all it is doing is fueling your fire.  I know it can be hard, but show this person that you are not going to tolerate this kind of behavior and just ignore it.  People like this won't have a show if there not audience.  The other mom on here can make a collective pact (if you will) to just ignore her comments, be they private message or post, and eventually she will stop.  No audience, no show.  She'll be the one making a herself look bad.

I encourage everyone not to stoop to that level.  Trust me, I battle with this too, so I'm preaching to myself.  I agree with Abby, swearing and name calling breeds hate.  Hate spreads hate, love spreads love.  Well said Abby.

Francesca - posted on 04/16/2009

im not a bully and i know wat 1 of them are!!! i will leave it as that

Amanda - posted on 04/16/2009

She does want a responce. From someone who actually wants to help her in her situation! That's kind of the whole point of posting for advice isn't it?

Francesca - posted on 04/16/2009

why show every1 this?? its like you want a response!! but the thing is you haven't shown what you have written. Im not here to belittle any1 but i have seen wat you have written on some forums and think that you are a rude girl!! but that is my opinion. we are aloud to!!!???

Sandy - posted on 04/16/2009

I think she sounds quite unstable of course and that everyone should have the freedom to say whatever they want.  Actually I was more talking about the response to Fran and Kimi

Heather - posted on 04/16/2009

Thank you Amanda!

Heather - posted on 04/16/2009

Sandy I agree with you but it is a known fact that this Fran girl and Heidi talk. Her coming on here is the same as Heidi. It would be different for her to give her opinion then leave but no she harasses us. it's insane!

Amanda - posted on 04/16/2009

I believe someone needs to take their own advice and leave the situation alone. This is obviously not a conversation needing anymore of Francesca's input. For someone not trying to bother someone, your being awfully pushy and kind of a bully. And you pretty much just convinced everyone you are on Heidi's side when you took her exact words in your very last sentence. Heather, you have every right to react that way when your asking for advice and someone treats you that way.

Heather - posted on 04/16/2009

How has anything I've said been rude? You want rude? I haven't talked to Heidi other than on a forum where she was attacking us. So read this and see how rude some people are. This was a private message out of the blue from Heidi



from heidi to me:





You seriously need to get a life. You are completely rude and pathetic. You are a sorry excuse for you human being to say the least. I can't imagine the life you children have with a mother like you. You have no respect for anyone, let alone a complete stranger. So you can run along with Jaime and the rest of your little posey and find someone else to harass, because you guys are all completely NUTS and I am done with all of you.



and then:

Said to say but you are the only one that is a crazy bitch. You need to find someone else to harass and belittle because your game with me is done. Feel free to post this wherever you like. I find it quite pathetic that you would do that in the first place. Just shows how low and pathetic you life really is. You seem to always have to put your useless 2 cents worth of info and its all meaningless. I have reported many of things that you have all posted about me, so go ahead and do what you must. I guess its the only real enjoyment and satisfaction that you seem to be getting anyway!

Sandy - posted on 04/16/2009

We are not always going to agree but reasonably intelligent mature people should be able to disagree respectfully

Sandy - posted on 04/16/2009

Sometimes it is not what we say but the way we say things that get a certain response I think there were a few people on here who had a different opinion and were not in the least rude in their initial comment then were attacked for speaking.  Just an observation

Sandy - posted on 04/16/2009

Wow.  Sometimes I think our experiences on here make us very suspicious and defensive.  Here we are preaching about how we should all be able to say whats on our mind and in the same breath attacking people for doing just that.  Sometimes we behave in the exact same ways we condemn without even without realizing it.

Francesca - posted on 04/16/2009

Quoting Heather:

I'm sure Heidi has told you what horrible people we are and sent you to harass us for her. Post all you want we know you are part of her little posse. Trust me sweet heart you don't bother us. This is to ask what to do about her not to be harassed by her and her minions. So run back and private message her all you want. We aren't bitches and never were to her until she started harassing us. She started this and got in over her head and doesn't know what to do now, other than cause drama. You know whats funny? I had read some of her previous posts and liked the way she thought until she pulled this shit. Then i realized she's a coniving bitch.

I have my own mind, i dont need some1 to tell me wat to think or say. i can see wiv my own eyes wat has been said. you sound a very bitter girl!!!!!!! im not even here to bother you, like i've said im havin my opinion, which you obviously dont like. And Heidi hasn't said anything to me, i had seen wat you wrote and thought how rude you were. so we will agree to disagree!!!!

Abby - posted on 04/16/2009

YIKES!!! Swearing and calling names??  Really???

Careful not to egg on the negitivity.  Just saying love spreads love and hate spreads itself.

Heather - posted on 04/16/2009

I'm sure Heidi has told you what horrible people we are and sent you to harass us for her. Post all you want we know you are part of her little posse. Trust me sweet heart you don't bother us. This is to ask what to do about her not to be harassed by her and her minions. So run back and private message her all you want. We aren't bitches and never were to her until she started harassing us. She started this and got in over her head and doesn't know what to do now, other than cause drama. You know whats funny? I had read some of her previous posts and liked the way she thought until she pulled this shit. Then i realized she's a coniving bitch.

Francesca - posted on 04/16/2009

I could say some other girls as well!!!!

Heather - posted on 04/16/2009

Quoting Francesca:

im here to give my opinion and if you dont like it well im very sorry!!! i've read some of the forums and noticed how some women can be so bitchy. 

I know! glad that you agree Heidi is a bitch.

Francesca - posted on 04/16/2009

im here to give my opinion and if you dont like it well im very sorry!!! i've read some of the forums and noticed how some women can be so bitchy. 

Jaime - posted on 04/16/2009

Just wanted to let you all know and I am here!!! Love all the support you have given me through all the posts!!! I am sorry I have brought my crap onto others. LUV YA!!

Angela - posted on 04/15/2009

Quoting Francesca:

surly if u write something, u know its bein looked at. I've seen wats been written and think if u dont want to see a reply dont write it. its simple really!!!

sorry but you have taken this completely out of context. We want the right to post whatever we want to post. and be heard (read) and to listen to advice (read what others think) with SAFETY.

This behaviour is not acceptable in the workplace, or at schools via txting or in the laws of the land. Stalking is a crime. This is NOT about a simple "one off" occasion. its constant. I have never read such controlling and abusive comments like what I have read from this female. Its so unfortunate that people have to form small groups to avoid her harrassment. It means that we are closed off from the majority of well meaning and good advice we might otherwise recieve. All because one person abuses the purpose of the forum. She uses it to stalk. It is sick behaviour and hopefully by it being exposed for the truth that it is, we will be free to talk properly again.

Di - posted on 04/15/2009

Hi all, just thought I would add more to what has already been said. One of the forums that Heather is talking about was started by the sm of this particular bm. It was started b/c everytime the sm would post in this forum the bm would attack her so the sm started the new forum to get away and be able to vent and ask for advice and talk about her problems to friends. The bm joined that forum, and in reality the only way she could have known about it is if she was checking everything that the sm was doing on here. Any one with any sort of intelligence would not have joined a forum that the admin was the sm that they are personally dealing with. The bm also convinced her friends to join the same forum, why? I can only guess that she needed backup for her attacks maybe? I also question their intelligence in doing that sort of thing. Everytime any one of the sm's friends in this group have questioned the bm's behaviour we have had pm's. Everytime any one of the sm's friends in this group have disagreed with the bm we have had pm's. She is insulting and antagonistic. She is an unhappy person who takes her bitterness out on anyone who doesn't agree with her. I believe she is in desperate need of psychiatric help and I am glad that I live on the other side of the world. All we wanted was to be left alone to form a support network and unfortunately this woman would not just let it be and was asked to leave us alone a multitude of times yet wont. As Debbie posted before, I am surprised she hasn't been on here yet, but then the sm hasn't posted so the bm is probably not aware of this thread. I wonder what would happen if Jaime did post here. I would bet that Heidi would be on here quicker then you could whistle.

Debbie - posted on 04/15/2009

Fran...If it was our bio mum I would agree with you to a point. Heidi is not our bio mum yet we still copped stuff from her.

This is a place to vent, get advice and seek support from others in the same situation, right? This is exactly what started the problem. We all (that are involved) tried to be nice and hear the other side but it turned out that she wouldnt listen and when she didnt like something we said she would attack. Now she has no business attacking us if we are not commenting to her or attacking her.

It does get exhausting dealing with your own biomum, thats why when we discovered what was happening we moved. Our friend deserves the right to ask for support and advice, without copping shit. Then she came there, so we moved again. Thing is we all have a right to be on here but not if we are going to sling mud at each other.

Amanda - posted on 04/15/2009

I raise my ss and sd as my own. My is hardly ever around but I still have plenty of drama with her. We live in a very small rural area and she has spread so many nasty rumors about me that I've lost count. I have always got to keep my mouth shut to keep the peace with my kids and it's exhausting. I finally have a place that I can say what I need to say and not feel bad about it and I know there are many other woman who feel the same way. There is absolutly no way I would let one of the people who gave me the need to vent ruin this site for me. You shouldn't either.

Heather - posted on 04/15/2009

She could email her and leave the rest of us alone. But that woman has sent all us private messages that are nasty and hateful. She has no life and to make it more interesting she has to harass us. It's insane.

Francesca - posted on 04/15/2009

i have enough problems wiv my bio mum, but like u say we have our own opinions. so i say mine and you get all defensive.I never said not to write anything im just sayin wat ever topic you bring up and know it will get looked at you cant expect some1 to sit back and say nothin.

Heather - posted on 04/15/2009

Thank you Amanda! At least some one gets it. Of course you do Deb. You've been right there with me. But it's nice for a person on the outside to see why we're upset.

Amanda - posted on 04/15/2009

I cannot understand why people are actually telling Heather to stop posting. That is what this is all about isn't it? The bio mom is so concerned that someone will believe these people's opinions about her so let me torment them until they give up and I win. Well screw that. There is no reason you should have to edit anything you have to say because of her. That's ridiculous. This forum is for us to all help one another and be able to speak our minds. One bio mom causing troble should not change that for anyone.

Heather - posted on 04/15/2009

I don't know you so this is purely hypothetical. Francesca: I don't agree with you so from now on I am going to go to every forum you write on and start shit with you. It doesn't matter if that forum has something to do with me or not. I don't like you and I'm going to run your name through the mud for every one else to see. I'm going to make judgements on your character even though you haven't done anything to me. Sound fair? Didn't think so.

Francesca - posted on 04/15/2009

surly if u write something, u know its bein looked at. I've seen wats been written and think if u dont want to see a reply dont write it. its simple really!!!

Debbie - posted on 04/15/2009

Hey Heather, I just popped in cause I thought I'd back you on your story. I was going to comment that she is a SM also then I read Kerri's comment. I'm surprised she hasnt started on here yet? She says that she doesnt follow us around that b/c she is a member of our forums she gets notified when someone writes stuff...I dont read the newsletters, but other than that I dont know any other way she is supposed to get notifications...

Heather - posted on 04/14/2009

Obviously you're right. Sorry I'm a little on the defense with what has been going on here lately. Glad to help you!

Kimi - posted on 04/14/2009

Sorry you thought it was rude. I gues that's the power of the written word. Everyone reads it differently you know? Just think if you take a break for a while it will all settle thats all. Sad that this place has become such a war zone for you since it should be a great resource for all. You have opened my eyes for sure. Hearing about this is very helpfull and can help alot of people to avoid what you and your friends are now going through. Best of luck.

Heather - posted on 04/14/2009

It's not that we don't want it read. It's that we are asking for advice just like anybody else on here and she starts a holy war on every forum we go to. And the whole real life friends comment you made makes me think either you are Heidi or one of her friends. It's not like she happens onto one of our posts. She goes to every post we post on and starts in on us. I think the last comment you made was very rude. You could have gotten by with the first sentence and that would have gotten your point across. I appreciate your advice but please refrain from being rude.

Kimi - posted on 04/14/2009

Anything you don't want read should not be posted. You can talk to your real life friends in person instead.

Kerri - posted on 04/14/2009

Heather, I know exactly who you are talking about.  She is a step-mom and claims that gives her the right to comment on these issues here.  However, she follows her child's step-mom to every conversation and starts an all out bitch fest about every thing that has ever happened in her life regarding her ex and her son, and her new husband and how wonderful her life is and blah blah blah.... It is quite pathetic.  I wish we could figure out a way to block her completely. 

Amanda - posted on 04/14/2009

The fact that she is doing this just shows what kind of person she really is. She is obviously insecure in her own life or she wouldn't have to demean others. If she was sure of her own parenting and the lives of her children there would be no need to create so much unneeded drama in other's lives. She just single handedly proved all of us step moms right in our distaste for the bitter, lonely, jealous biological mothers. And, since I just kind of have a feeling your reading this, thank you somuch for that Heidi! It's nice to finally have validation.



We all have enough drama with our own bio moms, you don't phase us honey.

Heather - posted on 04/14/2009

This is what I am getting now. She is sending private messages to us.



seriously

Between: Heidi, You





You seriously need to get a life. You are completely rude and pathetic. You are a sorry excuse for you human being to say the least. I can't imagine the life you children have with a mother like you. You have no respect for anyone, let alone a complete stranger. So you can run along with Jaime and the rest of your little posey and find someone else to harass, because you guys are all completely NUTS and I am done with all of you.



I simply replied:



I would appreciate if you would leave me and the rest of us alone. We don't want to hear from you and we don't care what you have to say. My kids have a wonderful life and couldn't have a better one. And I don't understand why you send the private messages. You know it will be posted for others to see your true colors. Leave us alone. We have already reported you to the administrator for harassment and I will be forwarding this as well.



This woman just does not get it. I don't know what else to do. I don't even know this woman, just sided with her childs stepmother on an issue and this is what I get.

Emma - posted on 04/14/2009

Why dont you find her name on Facebook itself and report her, they may even throw her off the whole site. Its bullying and its wrong, so she shouldn't be able to get hold of you either way. Hope it works for you.

Em xx

Heather - posted on 04/13/2009

that's just it it's not my bio mom!! Some of us sided with the step mother in her situation on a forum and when we stood up for the other mother she started attacking us!!! She follows us around and joins the forums we join and comments on our questions and attacks us!! Honestly it's really childish and it's getting old

Alichia - posted on 04/13/2009

I don't have advice, just a comment. Maybe you should appear very happy and so inlove in all of your posts. It will probably get her so angry that she has not succeeded in destroying your life.

Crystal - posted on 04/13/2009

If you want advice in here i would say post all you want :) My husbands bio mom is such a flake that she probably doesn't even know this group exsists.. oh the things she would know if she did..lol. If we can't block them from here maybe we should start a list. I know I have them in my tag groups on myspace....a ban list so that we can ignore those people that start trouble. It will also notify the admin that these ppl need to be messaged or put out of the group. Just an idea!

Jamie - posted on 04/13/2009

No, but thats just creepy. The admin person should be able to kick the person off the forum or block thier posts. Not sure how as I am not an admin. If thats not possible the admin of the board should email biomom to stop the harrassment.