Crazy mom that doesnt support her child in any way

Kelcie - posted on 10/18/2009

Rebecca it sounds like my step sons bio mom and your step daughters bio mom are twins hahaha The only thing we can do is just know that we take wonderful care of our children and even though they are the bio moms we are the real moms when it comes down to it because we are the ones who feeds them, bathes them, clothes them, and all around takes care of them and supports them. I just hope one day they will see how much we really did for them and how much their bio moms didnt. Also I hope one day they work up the courage to call them out on it and then I can see the face of the woman who has nearly broken her sons heart on plenty of occasions.

Rebecca - posted on 10/17/2009

My stepdaughters mom does not call her but maybe once every month don't come and see her she has bought her one shirt, a hair tie, and a baby doll for christmas that she did'nt get until three months after christmas she promises her stuff all the time but never does it she don't pay child support and just comes around when she feels the need what would you do any advice?

Sherri - posted on 10/14/2009

I have a new one for you! My husband got served yesterday with the case conference brief for court on the 21st. Supermom has decided to get herself a lawyer (probably in her best interest) and this lawyer is obviously telling her EXACTLY what to do. She decided to call my SS last night (not her usual Thurday phone call) and tell my SS that she'd be at his cadets tonight. She came, but the part that gets to me is this:



My SS sent her an email on May 30th telling her how mad he was with her for not showing up at his "annual" for Cadets which consits of seeing all of the new things they've been doing that year, promotions and they parade around the building to show off to the parents. Super mom was then invited to the next 2 events (taking place on the following 2 weekends and she didn't go to ONE. Out of 11 events that my SS has invited her to, she's only attended 2 (one at the beginning of the year and one tonight)



Does anyone else find it convenient that she shows up for 3 minutes for a cadet event when we went to court last month and now showed up tonight???? We go to court in 6 days! Is there any judge sane or otherwise that isn't going to see this for what it is....? A last ditch effort on her part to look good for the case conference? I think this just further proves our point that she only does things that are convenient for HER, and doesn't put my SS's needs ahead of her own interests.



If attending his cadets was important for her to show up because it was important to her, why didn't she go after she got an email at the end of May with my SS complaining about her 4 different excuses/lies about going to his annual? That was the very FIRST event.



Super mom also actually put that she has never emotionally abused my SS. First of all, when you tell a child that they can't have their birthday money because the child "needs to learn how to behave" - completely mitigating the leaps and bounds that he's improved, refuse to discuss an email that your child sent you wanting to know why she told lie after lie about her lack of attendance, what would you call it?



She also hasn't seen the report from the counselor (we just got it ourselves). The counselor cites emiotional abuse/harm, addresses the history of violence in the home AND has in there all about my SS's feelings about the issue, it's pretty hard to try to sell that to a judge.



My SS was in hockey a couple of years back. He's not in hockey now becuase of cadets. He's signed himself up for drill team and rifle team to go along with his weekly cadet appointments as well as his paper route that is done 3 days a week.



So, does anyone here think that super mom who has a history of not taking my SS to hockey games and hockey practices is going to follow the following schedule?



Wed. Paper route and cadet meeting from 6:30-9:45

Friday. paper route and rifle team from 5-8pm

Saturday, has to call in paper overages/shortages by 6pm

Sunday, deliver papers by noon and then drill team from 12-5



She can't get to his cadet meetings well over half the time (one time even citing that she couldn't afford to take the bus... really it's 2.00 to take the bus) but she's going to get him to all the extra curricular activities that he's signed himself up for? Super mom by the way lives 30 minutes away and has no car.



I can't figure out why she is goign through all this effort to get visitation for a kid that she has NO interest in. She's never been to any of his hockey games (the 2 years that he was in hockey) made his skip half of his practices that he got penalized for, never attended a counseling session... NOT ONE and has no way of transporting him to his events. I can't see a judge making a 12 year old quit their job or activities because his mother chose to move 30 minutes away and doesn't have reliable transportation. So really, what's the motive here???? That she can get visitations and then end any chance of a relationship with her son on her terms because she couldn't be bothered to make arrangements to get him there herself????????



Anyone have an insight to this that I'm just not seeing????

Aja - posted on 10/14/2009

I know what you're going through. My step son's bio mom is OVER 7k behind in child support and she says "I am supporting him by paying my rent." Even though he doesn't live with her! Everything that she does or says is twisted into her 'sharing custody' with us and her dad. Sharing custody is 1/2 the time, not 4 days a month max. I can't tell you what a comfort it is to have people who understand what I'm going through. Because we have him, and it is so rare that dad's have custody, sometimes it's just like we are all alone.

Kelcie - posted on 10/14/2009

Well both of us have talked to her about the no bath and the way he eats down there and how he doesnt get his medicine and it seems to make her more mad and just neglect everything even more. We have court next month and hopefully she will have to start helping out with him. I lost his medicaid and she works for her father who by the way is a dr. and cant give him health insurance so hopefully that will be court ordered because he has to many medical problems to not have some type of insurance Im applying for florida kid care but it take 30 to 45 days so hopefully something soon eh!

Jess - posted on 10/14/2009

My step sons mother is the same way! She has not had a job in over 2 years and now shes prego with baby #2 to a father who also has no job!!!! The bio mom lives off of the $300 a month she gets from my husband every month in child support. Every time she wants to do some thing with him she calls my husband looking for more money! She only makes him meals that come out of boxes or takes him to a fast food place. She lets him sit in front of the video games all day and do nothing. He just turned 5 and doesnt know his alphabet or how to spell his name! My husband and I try to work with him on educational stuff and my step son throws a fit cause his mom doesnt make him do any thing. Every time he gets a time out of some kind of dicipline he throws a fit and gives me a look like " go ahead... I'll tell my mom"!! And in addition to the bio mom not giving a damn about being a parent, she puts stuff in his head about how he shouldnt like me and that I'm mean and he doesnt have to listen to me because I'm not his real mom! I'm so frustrated!

Gayle - posted on 10/14/2009

In the UK with the CSA all absent parents are liable to pay child support. Why should BM get away with it. I am a BM and a SM and I try my hardest to be nice to SM as having two children brought into her life must be tough. If I was the BM of your son I would be on my knees Thanking you. You are a fantastic Mom and your son knows who loves him and is there for him. Have you spoken to a lawyer about non access, I know this is harsh, but if a SM was treating a child like this we wouldn't allow her anywhere near our child. Any idiot can get pregnant, it takes a woman of courage and determination to be a parent! I hope you can find away to protect your son. Gx

Sherri - posted on 10/12/2009

OK, I've got some crazy for you....

My SS is 12- his bio mom got into a brew-haha with her BF in May with police called and all. My SS was woken up in the middle of the night with cops outside his bedroom (on a school night to boot). My SS did not feel comfortable going to see her (nor did we) until he went back to the therapist to deal with the anxiety he was feeling at even the concept of going to see his mother. We invited Crazy to counselors, parent teacher interviews, etc. and she's never been to one appointment. She made my SS an appointment for a consult with the orthodontist and scheduled it on OUR TIME and never said a damn thing to us about it. The only reason we found out about it is because my husband made himself a dentist appointment and they let him know about my SS's appointment.

Super mom decided to take off at the end of June for 3 weeks to another province. When she came back, she decided to serve my husband with court papers seeking visitation. Here's the kicker:

My SS is in cadets. He invited his mother to 3 of his events at the end of last year and to his meetings EVERY weekend since the start of this year. She came the second week for THREE minutes and then was stupid enough to actually tell him that she came on time and someone told her to come back in 15 minutes. Dude, we were there and my SS was right outside the front door running drills. The following night she promised my SS she'd go the following week. She called the night before and told him she had to work until 9pm (his meetings don't end until closer to 10). Then the following week she said "I didn't know I was allowed to come". Then last week she said she was "sick". I DID go and he didn't take that from his mother. He said "well Sherri came and she has walking pneumonia!" (this was 100% true-I'd found out the day before what I had, but he was being promoted, so I knew the importance of going) Her response was silence.

So, she "misses her son SOOOOOOO much that she passes up opportunities to see him and has taken to only calling him once a week (on Thursdays)?????? I'm not getting the connection here. Anyone else?

Today is a holiday (for those that live in the states or elsewhere, it's Thanksgiving in Canada) and my SS has not heard from his mother since he had a 5 minute conversation with her on Thursday. If you're a loving parent that misses your child so damn much that you need to serve court documents seeking that they order visitation, wouldn't the smart thing be to call your child on a regular basis (especially on holidays) at the very least to keep up appearences for court????

Holly - posted on 10/12/2009

WOW, i feel so bad for you, and the situation you are in.



Well I do tell him, and I actually left him becuase he would not stick up for his daughter. I am living with him now, but we are not "together". I am there for my children, somone needs to take care of them properly. ;). He is a good dad and he is trying. But at the same time, I am still angry with him-long story...



But now that my daughter is getting older, it makes things harder. I love both of them as my own, and I feel helpless.



I hate feeling helpless.... :(

Rebecca - posted on 10/12/2009

Hello! I am Rebecca, a soon- to- be step mom with a baby on the way and my fiance's ex is crazier than urs. We got together in Jan.09 and he was still awaiting for the divorce to go threw. She is an extreme wack job! She googled me, looked up my family and started trying to get "dirt" on me, then when she found out that I was pregnant, she threatened to beat me up and kill my baby; when she found out we were engaged she flipped out sending him texts and shit saying that I cheated on him and this that n the other thing begging to get him back. She hasn't worked in over 12 years and refuses to get a job, lives off the state and lets her kids run wild. when their daughter got out of control she called us and said she didn't want her f*ing crazy daughter and we'd better take her, thier son has fits she calls us (45 miles away) and expects us to do something about it. She has lives next to a meth lab, let her kids smoke pot and drink with her and tells them all sorts of awful stuff about me so that they won't like me. Mind you, the girl is 10 and the boy is 6..... she is the craziest person I know.... I have never felt so unsafe around a person before, she should have never had kids and she be in a mental institution... there is more I could tell but I think that would make you feel a little better about your situation. As for your issue- I'd tell the dad to step in and say something. After all, they are his kids and that is his main responsibility to deal with the bio mom.... I understand that isn't an option sometimes but if you sit down and tell him exactly how you feel about the situation he might do something about it. Hope to hear back from you!

rebecca

Holly - posted on 10/12/2009

I know exactly what you are going through. My SD mother takes her when it is convient for "her". SHe tells me when she is over there, she watched tv all of the time, and does not eat healthy meals. It is really sad, and there is nothing I can do about it.



This past Saturday we had an event planned, and her mother would not let her go, and would not even give us a reason, just nasty text messages. My daughter was VERY upset that she could not see her sister. She has hurt my daughter and her own daughter many times, and I HATE IT!



To top it off, she is preggo again! She does not even have a job.



I cannot take her immaturity anymore! She is hurting my family.

Nicole - posted on 10/12/2009

Exactly!!, When my step son comes over on the weekends, he reeks like she hasnt even given him a bath in days!, And his supposedly clean clothes for the weekend stink to high heaven!, So my fiance and I bought him some pj's, and outfits for when he stays with us. I'm sorry that is sooo not right to do that. But that bad thing is, he will never realize what shes done to him because he doesnt understand it and most probably never will.

Kelcie - posted on 10/12/2009

Well I see there are plenty of crappy moms out there and just cant seem to understand how a mother could do such terrible things to her child. I also have a problem with getting her to give him a bath or even a shower one day when he was down there he went the bed or should I say floor because thats where he slept because she had no xtra room for him just the floor of her and her bf's room along with his 11 year old daughter. apparently she just told him to go back to sleep and they would take care of it in the am obviously she didnt bath him nor did she even bother to change his clothes. I was completely disgusted. My whole thing is if you wouldnt do that to yourself dont do it to your kid. visitation has not been in order yet so she gets him whenever shes feels like it which as we all know can go for about 2 to 6 months in between sometimes with not even a darn phone call but like Jodi said these kids will someday realize everything we as the stepmoms have done and thank us while they look at their bio moms as someone who was never there and didnt show they cared.

Nicole - posted on 10/12/2009

Ya, i have one. My step son is 6 and has signs of being autistic. Here are the symptoms he has like: he doesnt like loud nosies or crowds, hates change in his routine, repeats the question & doesnt answer it with a yes or no, he cant say full sentences, and his speech is not all that great. Well....the bio mother doesnt want to realize that her son needs professional help. The one day i said to her, why is he repeating what i ask him? she said, because i taught him to copy other people! I'm like are you kidding me? She has an excuse for everything!......



And we love taking him to do stuff cuz he sits at his moms and watches tv or whatever,. now he doesnt want to come over and she says......well he's a homeboy and doesnt like to do alot of stuff. We've tried to hint that there is something wrong because my sister in law works with autistic childern and we've said that they act the same as her son does. Guess what, she doesnt say a word.



Well, i guess my story wasnt all that crazy but the sad part is, her son needs help and its only hurting him and she doesnt realize it in the long run, its only going to get worse!

Sarah - posted on 10/12/2009

i got a crazy mum story for you....we have 50-50 care of my step son.. and we asked his bio mum for an extra day as it was his aunts wedding.. and she said sure i will just make it up next time and we said that's fine...so it was prearranged that she will be the one picking him up and dropping him us back to us..when it came down to the tuesday wednesday where she was meant to have her son.... she said that she had no one to pick him up and said that i could do it... me wanting the best for my step son said fine but not until at least 5 in the afternoon as i was at a course that day and didn't finish until 4 ... she said no don't worry about it..... we also offer her to take him from the wednesday until the thursday as i didn't have my course those day and i could drop him off and pick him up and she still said no cuz it would be better if she had him tuesday to the wednesday... also she works from 4am in the morning to 11 am every single day 7 days a week... wakes munchkin up so she can go to work and puts him into daycare every day she has him..so even if she took him he wouldn't of been spending anytime with her... my step son is five years old and understands that he doesn't need his mum nor wants to be with her... my poor little man.. i do have alot more stories but they don't get any better

Nicci - posted on 10/11/2009

ok ive got one for ya.... my stepson who is 6 and ADHD does not even know who she is! For 2 yrs she has not so much as called! previous to that she never paid child support or helped in any way! she would sleep all day and he would come home telling me that he didnt get to take a bath! She was so Fin lazy that she wiped him down with a wetwipe everyday! Then he came home with bruises all over i asked what happened and he told me she let him at the time was 3 have a rock fight with his siter which by the way is exactly 9 mo younger by another man if that says anything! I have a whole list of em thats why i finally started recording all of the things and thats when she was put on supervised visitation. Then she decides to give up rights and didnt even have the paperwork notorized! Since she lives in IN somewhere and we have heard nothing. But all over her myspace is pics and comments how she will get her children back and she misses them soooo much! YUK!!!!!

Jodi - posted on 10/11/2009

No crazy mum stories here - my husband exes are pretty reasonable.



How about crazy bio dad stories? My ex is the same - he doesn't see why he should have to contribute either. He is ordered to pay a whole $165 a month, and won't even do that because he doesn't see why he should have to.



My son went there one weekend and needed to buy some shin pads for his soccer - I had to send the money with him to buy them!!! Another time, my son wanted a sleepover with his friend, whose mother has cancer and needed somewhere for the kids to go overnight (my son is 12), and my ex said no, not on his weekend because he wasn't feeding someone else's kid!!! TOLD his son he couldn't afford it because he had to pay me!!! Fancy telling your kid that!! So I explained the purposes of child support, and then confirmed with my son that in fact, his father hadn't paid any at all that month, but he could have his friend over to our place and go to his dad's the next morning instead if that's what he wanted.



Do these people not understand that these kids DO eventually figure out what is going on and they are the ones being hurt by it??? And that one day, they may lose their kids with this stupid, selfish attitude, because the kids just won't want to see them anymore?? My son is already at a point where he won't stay with dad for extra time in the holidays because he doesn't like to anymore.