Jenni - posted on 09/19/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )
Maybe I'm just lucky that we all "get along". But we actually have a good relationship with my husband's daughter's BM. It sure didn't start out that way..... but under the circumstances it all worked out.
When I started dating my husband he didn't tell me his ex was pregnant right away. I wasn't looking for anything serious at the time and he knew that so he felt he didn't want to complicate things if we were just 'havin fun'. His ex had gotten pregnant with his daughter after they had broken up and she had moved out. I came in to the picture after they had stopped seeing each other. When my husband realized things were about to get serious between us he told me about her. I decided to stay with him despite the situation.
He eventually told her about me. I think she may have been under the impression that he just "needed time" and would eventually come around and get back together with her. So needless to say it really crushed her. He had made it clear that they wouldn't be (she cheated on him multiple times and tried to hit him with a beer bottle when she was drunk). She wanted to get to know me a bit since her daughter would be spending time with us which I felt was a fair request. Of course she had a few little attempts to try to break us up. She told me he slept with her when he brought her prenatal vitamins. Which of course i knew didn't happen because i was waiting in the car (which she didn't know) and he was only gone 5 mins. She told him she had sex dream about all of us. *shudder*. and then she pretended she was bi-sexual and tried to solicite me via email to sleep with her. Again, *shudder*. Btw she is really young in case you couldn't tell. We had our share of fights in the beginning which I thought was understandable considering the situation. I tried to keep my cool for most of them no matter what she said to me because I know she was hurt. Although in one fight I didn't keep my cool and referred to her as 'trailor trash'. Eventually everything cooled down.
We haven't had a disagreement in 2 out of the 3 years since my SD was born. I've watched her daughter many times when my husband was at work for BM so she could go out or when she was sick. She in return has watched my son for us. My husband and BM talk on the phone about their daughter and rarely disagree. We brought my son over to see her when he was born and my daughter as well. She invites us to family functions and other parties, we don't usually go because we don't want to risk ruining the good thing we have. We did go to the bday party BM and her family had for my SD's 3rd bday.
Is there anyone else who is lucky to have a SK BM they get along with?