Kerri - posted on 02/05/2009 ( 17 moms have responded )
I have only been a member of this group for 4 days and I am just shocked at all of the negativity here. I am wondering if there are any step-moms out there who have anything nice to say about biological mothers they are involved with or biological moms who have anything nice to say about step-moms?
Here, I'll get things started and if anyone else wants to leave a positive comment, then go right ahead. Maybe someone will read this and it will spark optimism in their situation or make some of the step-moms/moms feel like things actually can get better. Nice things do tend to make a dreary situation look better.
I am both a mom and a step-mom. My son has a step-mom. I had a rough start with my husband and his ex-wife but through the years we have realized, their kids are what is most important. Yes, their kids. They are not my kids. She is their mother. She is just like every other mother. She is a hard worker. She is a mother, a care-giver, a children's activity volunteer, an encourager, a church goer and taker, an ex-wife, a girlfriend, etc. Nothing has ever been perfect in our situation but perfection rarely exists with divorce and children. I would say I am lucky. My husband is a great father. My step-sons are great children. Their parents have raised them to be respectful, responsible pre-teens, so-far, so-good. Ther mom is a great mom. She works very hard. She makes sacrifices for her kids. She is involved in all of their activities. My personal opinions do not come into play regarding her children. She deserves the right to be a mother, without me trying to be involved. I respect her, she respects me. She knows I would do anything for her children or for her. Yes, for her. Because she plays a major role in my life simply because she is my husband's ex-wife and the mother of his children. She loves her kids and I love her kids. She is a good mom. Her son's are lucky to have her. My husband is lucky to have her as the mother of his children.
My son also has a step-mom. She is good to him. She cooks for him (most times his favorite food), cleans up after him, spends time with him, helps him with homework, does his laundry. She allows him to spend time with his father. Most of all she is spouse to my son's dad. She is exactly what I would want for my children. Her personal life never comes into play. bc it is none of my business She is good to my son. She cares for him when I or his father are not there. She treats him well. I love her for it. We stay out of each other's business. We have never let personal issues or disagreements get in the way of what is most important, my son's well-being.
I wish I could hear more things like this coming from step-moms and moms. I hate to see women tearing each other apart.