Does your step-daughter live with you?

Becky - posted on 09/25/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Okay so I keep seeing a lot of postings about BMs that have custody of the child(en). Are there any BF that have custody of the child(en)? Because that's me, my DH has had custody since the beginning. We've been together four years and SDs are like my own.

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Jessica - posted on 09/25/2009

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Yep! There are actually a few of us on here.... My hubby has had custody since he split with BM (SD was six months old). She is now 8, and I have been in her life for four years. She lives with us full time, and goes to see her mom every second weekend. She may as well be mine!

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Anna - posted on 10/01/2009

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I also have my step daughter living with my husband and I. She is 3 years old and I have been in her life from the moment that my husband(fiancee at the time) got back from Iraq when she was 1 1/2. I have taught her so much. To talk, walk, potty trained and so much more. She even calls me mommy even though I have never forced her to call me that. I love her to peices and call her my own. Her mother gets to see her about 1 weekend a month. Her BM is a peice of work. We have had my SD full time for over a year and when we got talking about moving to MO from WA..She flipped out and then tried to turn around and become a mother agian. I can't believe that someone can just decide to be a mother whenever it is convenite for them...it don't work like that. Along with the fact that every time my SD comes back from her house she is out of her normal self. She doesn't get the attention she needs there. Anyways, thats my vent...lol

Connie - posted on 09/30/2009

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My husband and his ex didn't do any legal custody arrangements. When my SD was approx 2 yrs old, he had lost his job and was staying home with her and his now ex had two jobs at the time so when they split, he just took our daughter (my SD) with him. He's had her all along. We've been together since before she started kindergarden. She's now 17yrs old. She calls me by my first name since there is only one dad and one mom (agreement made between them when they split). My father raised my brother and I. Both my parents remarried. We called them mom and dad also. It's a matter of points of view I suppose. I don't mind though because I know she looks to me as a parental figure and even when she was younger (approx 7yrs old), I remember her telling her friends that she wanted them to meet "her Connie"! It was so cute.

Betty - posted on 09/28/2009

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Mine does. About 3 1/2 days a week. She is 4 years old and we are fighting for more custody right now. I feel like she is mine. She calls me by my first name but I know she feels like I am a mother to her because one day she asked me what my mommy name is. I told her that when she calls my Betty I feel like the luckiest mommy ever so that is what she calls me. It's great being a step mom because you get to do everything your way instead of following what society has painted as normal.

Stacy - posted on 09/27/2009

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My Step-daughter is in college now. But, we only got to see her every other weekend. She hasn't talked to her Dad, in like 8 years. Because she felt that he chose me over her. Which, isn't true at all. Her and I talk quite a bit, though.

Chelsea - posted on 09/26/2009

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Mine does! She goes to her BM teus and thurs after school for 2 hours and every other weekend. I've been in her life almost 5 years and she's 8 years old. My husband works offshore so most of the time it's just my SD and I. There really isn't a good reason her BM is uninvolved, I guess she feels like it's too much responsibility.She's just drama.

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That's right Laura! I hate the word "step" also! I do not use it when referring to my daughter (unless I have to to clarify something) and she does not use it for me. If she has to (i.e. around her bm) she calls me by my first name, never "my step-mom"



she tld me herself that she doesn't like that word - in fact, we would have never even used the word, but her bm told her that she now has "an evil stp-mom like in all the movies" when my hubby and I got married. my daughter replied with, "she's not evil, she's super duper nice and I love her a whole bunch!" :)

Laura - posted on 09/26/2009

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ME ME! lol I have been with my SD ever since she was 2.5 years old-- we were awarded full custody in March of "06" she see's her bio mom every 1st-3rd-5th weekend. We have a fantastic relationship she calls me Mama and has since very young.. Love her to pieces to me she is mine.. Its actually very hard for me to even call myself a Stepmom and honestly we do not even call me that in the house.. My SD calls me that when she is talking about me and her BM but other then that we dont use it.. I know thats awful but I am WE are by far the furthest thing from the definition of a stepmother.. We do it all as if they were our own..

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Me too! My daughter's bm left when my daughter was barely 3 years old. She is now 7 and I have been in her life for 3.5 years (longer than her bio mom was with her full time). Her bm lives over 1600 miles away and chose to live that far away when she left her daughter for some guy she met on the internet. She gets our daughter 8 weeks out of every year (2 in February, 3 in June and 2 in October - our daughter is in year-round school). The bm has called our daughter once since June 30th, and that was on our daughter's birthday (Sept 4th) at 9:50 at night (11:50 where bm lives) and the conversation only lasted 10 minutes. It's hard, but I am here for our daughter and she calls me "Mom" (bm is called by her name in our house, but when my daughter calls her bm she calls her "mom" but that's just because she slipped once and her bm freaked).

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