Frustrated and in tears... constantly... I don't know what to do...

Leaha - posted on 02/21/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Okay, I've been following the "PAS" conversation because I think that is deffinately what I'm going trough. But I'm at a point where I'm dealing with so much crap, I'm just lost. My sk's have no respect for me. My husband doesn't see it. My own daughter has no respect for me, my husband see's that one. (Makes no sence to me) I can't do this anymore! I'm starting to hate being a mom, period. My own daughter has ADHD/ADD, OCD, ODD and is Bi-Polar. She has her dad giving her the guilt trip with I'm going to miss you soooo much, I love you, blah blah blah, and then telling her that she doesn't have to listen to me or her step-father. And also adds that (sf) is not her father and never will be. Okay, no, he's not replacing her dad, but he IS her step-father and she should listen to him as she should any other adult. With my daughter having ODD, authority figures mean nothing to her including teaches, police, any adults! I've had it!! I'm loosing my mind! My daughter's father is always crying in court, bringing up false accusations of abuse. We've had to deal with children's services 4 times and the cops 3 times just in the past 2 years! When will it stop? My daughter is in counceling, but now she's using the councelor as a threat tacktic, telling myself and my husband that "she's going to tell Miss Jessica about this" (usually after she's gotten in trouble for mouthing off and told to stand in the corner, which she refusses to do) and "you just wait till I tell her, then you'll be in trouble". At this point I seriously doubt that the councellor is doing any good if she thinks she can use her for munipulation like that. This is breaking my heart, because I feel like my daughter is being mentally and possably physically abused (as I was) when she is at her dads for visitation. We can have her behavior getting better and she somewhat tollerable, then when she getts back from visitation, she a demon again! Mouthy and dissrespectfull. I know alot of it is the ODD, but I can't continue to make excusses for her. What should I do? Then I've got crap coming from my hubby's ex and his family. She's doing the same crap to my sk's. Telling them that she'll miss them soooo much, and she loves them, blah blah blah. Then we have to deal with the attitude all weekend long. The whiney "mommy misses me" bull crap. This drives me crazy!! Completely off subject, but just to show how much of an idiot this woman is, my ss is 2 now and we've been trying to potty train him, she puts a pull up on him and then puts underwear over top! Okay, lets teach him that it's okay to pee in your underwear! OMG, plus, from day one (I've been in his life since he was 2 1/2 months old) he's always had a diaper rash when he comes to visit. By the time he goes back we have it all cleared up. I use a diffrent cream than she does and wont listen when my husband suggests that she try it because it clears him right up! I'm not saying she's a bad mom, nor am I saying that I'm purfect, but why can't she take a suggestion that is obviously helping the child??? Anyway, I just need some help. I'm so confussed. Right now I'm still going through a custody battle for my own daughter, we would like to fight to get my husbands kids more if not full, but that's going to have to wait because we can't financially afford it. But in the mean time, I'm so worried for all three of them! What can I do?????

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Your situation definitely sounds like mine with my SD. The whole weekend she will talk about how her mom misses her so much and is crying at home without her. We finally called bio-mom on it and at drop off yesterday my hubby said 'see you're mom isn't crying. you don't have anything to worry about' She's been soo much better this weekend. I'm so sick of dealing with the crap too. Right now my SD has latched on to me but she definitely is disrespectful to my hubby. But that's because her mom tells her it's okay and that she doesn't have to listen to him or talk to him and that she can call him by his first name if she wants. It's neverending I guess. And like your situation, my SD goes to see a therapist which mom has definitely manipulated into being on "her" side. I'm sorry I don't have any advice but to just keep fighting for the kids and teaching them what's right. We just pray one day SD will know the truth.

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