Happy Birthday without BM- venting!!

Jennifer - posted on 01/28/2011

In the same sense I know how you feel. My own children have not spoke to their dad in almost 5 years. Its hard when you hear them say "I miss my dad", & even harder to resist saying "He chose to go to prison instead of spending his life with you"... I praise you for raising someones kids!! Way to go you!!!
Its an everyday struggle for my new husband to deal with my children when they mention their "dad" who has never had anything to do with them, so thumbs up to you!! And after 5 years sometimes I think the grudges get worse!!

Laura - posted on 01/27/2011

This is so sad, and I totally get how u feel, I really do. But hey, you are now their mum. There have been plenty of times where I have felt like this towards BM and i ended up realising that all of my negative energy that i was putting into hating this woman was actually only affecting MY own mood and MY own life, not hers! So my point is these negative emotions you have towards her (which are totally understandable to have!!) are in turn, actually only affecting YOU in a negative way. I have let go of these feelings now, of course they come back every now and then but i don't let them take over, if you get what i mean =) I hope that all made sense!

Holly - posted on 01/27/2011

No, you;re not crazy. I feel that way about my daughter;s bm too. January 1st was the year mark for the last time the bm came to see our daughter (so now it's been over a year) and they only spoke on the phone 5 times last year - all the calls were instigated by us and NONE of the calls were on special occasions. Bm didn't call on Easter (our daughter's favorite holiday), our daughter's birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving (and it was supposed to be bm's year to have Thanksgiving), OR Christmas! We haven't even heard from bm since October...

I'm mad and kinda glad at the same time since it's just one more piece of evidence for our case against her. Honestly, our daughter never even asks about her bm anymore and that makes me both sad and glad at the same time...

Karen - posted on 01/27/2011

Your not crazy. it does hurt when the ones you love are being hurt.
All you can do is love them and show the your not going anywhere.
However it sounds like your doing that so I'm just telling you what you know.

Vanessa - posted on 01/26/2011

Yes you will still resent her ---- I did too!
But I turned it around - to be grateful at her being such a f&%k up actually gave me a gift in letting me be the mommy in the house and gaining such a wonderful hubby! If she wasn't the way she was, I wouldn't have all I do have today.
Don't pity her --- she's obviously too selfish to care about anyone else, so your feeling sorry for her is simply lost.
don't hold any emotion except INDIFFERENCE. no hate, no pity, no anything---- simply indifference.