how do i get my daughter to stop being so dramatic about everything?
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Kristina - posted on 07/22/2009
My SS does the same thing.. everything is a personal affront to him. We've just stopped responding to the drama that just gives him extra attention he doesn't need for that behavior. We let him know we are there for him if he needs to talk, but not until he can speak to us with respect. We don't even allow the "GOSH!!" and stomping up the stairs. I make him come back down and go back up properly. We have to constantly remind him we aren't his peer or his friends we are his parents and will not be disrepected because he's having a rollercoaster day. You're upset take some time to your self. Read in your room, skateboard, go ride your bike.. something just for him..to have some me time and get his head straight. We have also been explaining to him that alot of the quick to anger, drama llama stuff is due to him growing up and inoder to do that the body produces hormones. We gave him some questions to ask himself befor he reacts. 1. Do you fully understand the situation or are you jumping to conclusions (is it a misunderstanding?)2. If you do understand are you really angry or just reacting because you are shocked? 3. If you are angry is it worth it? (don't sweat the small stuff) 4. If you think it's worthy of the drama how are you going to handle yourself?
We have a strike system.
1st stike it's a warning.. hey you might want to rethink this!
2nd strike you lose TV privilages for the day
3rd strike you lost Video games for the day
4th Strike you lost outside play for the day
5th strike.. YOu apparently do not need to be around people you'll spend the rest of the day in your room. Do not pass go!
It gives him a chance to correct the issue as well as addressing the issue. We don't dicuss or argue.. it's simply stated Strike 1. and move on .. no debates it is what it is.. you continue to argue.. that's strike 2.. do we need to continue?
Leilani - posted on 07/21/2009
I am a teacher and went to several extremely important seminars about teenage brains and emotions.
Trust me on this moms...this is completely normal...they will over dramatise everything, they will have major mood swings, their tone of voice gives an attitude, they say things without thinking, they are indecisive, they will react to things instantly without thought acting unfavorably then don't think anything of it...does these behaviors sound familliar.
Ok...here's why...as their brain developes their frontal lobe (forehead area) is one of the last areas to develop (age 17-19)...yet this is the one which controls these actions...what's happening is their hormones is in abundance and that is overpowering them.
What can we do...first of all we need to be as patient as possible...remind yourself that this is normal and they'll grow out of it...never over react to things or take things personally in the wrong way because our reaction based on their actions will tend to only complicates things...as I'm sure you have noticed...if you don't appreciate their tone of voice calmly let them know so they are aware of it because at this phase they are not...calmly reassure them in a "drama" situation that the world is not going to end and they will get through it etc...
Remember...stay calm as much as possible...situations will only escalate if you don't. Good Luck Ladies...
I've survived 4 teens at home and being a high school teacher because of this...oh my gosh imagine this...100s of crazy hormones & attitudes all day long...I teach 600 teens a year...trust me when I say this really works.
Sherri - posted on 07/19/2009
IGNORE but not. It's a way of getting attention and looking for a reaction. Depending on the age.... call her out on it. My step-son will walk into the room and say something just to see if he can get the shock value. We let him know that we're aware that he's in the room and if he'd like to discuss something.... fine. But we don't allow him to spend an hour dwelling and making a mountain out of a mole hill. We humour him to a certain degree and ask the "what happened" and give him his options on how to deal with it. Then we will tell him "go think on it, sleep on it, pray on it" and that's usually the end of it.
He will address the issue and tell us about how he handled it. We will point out the positives, let him know the negatives and possible consequesnces (if any) to the decision he's made and that's usually it.
Betty - posted on 07/22/2009
How old is she? Mine is almost four and she is very dramatic. We just consider that to be her mother's dna and just ignore it because there is no reasoning to be done when dealing with that part of her. Do I like it? No. Would I change her if I could? Never ever! She's the beatutifull child I never would have been able to produce on my own.
Jessica - posted on 07/20/2009
If she is speaking in a dramatic tone, tell her you won't discuss anything with her until she speaks to you calmly and in a normal tone. If she is sulking about something tell her she can go sulk somewhere else (like her room), as you are in a great mood and are not interested in being brought down because of drama. Let her know that she is welcome to come back down at any time, as you would enjoy her company. If it's dramatic tears, I firmly tell my SD to "Stop". If she doesn't, I won't deal with her until she chills out. Stick to it, and it will work! Now, all I have to do is respond with "What's the drama mama?" Haha! She instantly turns it off.
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