How do I get out of this awkward situation?

Adrienne - posted on 06/26/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

I have 3 boys at home. My teenage stepson and my 2 little boys.

My hubby and I had a conversation yesterday about my stepson. My oldest (2 1/2) asked where his big brother went and my hubby said to his mother's. He didn't push the issue and went to sleep like any other night.
Now my hubby mentionned something that has been on my mind since yesterday. He told me that he would bring my sons to meet his ex one day when they are curious.
There is no way, over my dead body, that I want my kids anywhere near that trainwreck. And before anyone freaks out, please let me explain.
I have been with my hubby now for 9 years. My stepson lives with us for the past 5, full time. They broke up 12 years ago.
I have put up with petty jealousy, outright lies, using my stepson to try to manipulate us, not one penny of child support, trying to convince her son that since we've had my 2 sons that we don't care about him as much anymore (which is totally out of this world...between both bio parents, my stepson confides and talks to me way more) and also, when she found out that we got married and that I was pregnant with my first son, she showed up at our house late at night and tried to kick and pound down our door...we had to call the police but my hubby didn't want to press charges. She has also been jailed and hospitalized several times for mental psychoses and I don't trust her.
However, when we have had to be "friends" in public, I put up with her. However, I do NOT want my kids to meet her or be around her unless if they absolutely have to (my stepson's wedding? the birth of his kids? his kid's birthday parties?)
Am I totally crazy? I don't want to cause friction with my husband but man, sometimes he acts like we SHOULD be including her in raising my sons. I wouldn't mind if we had a normal relationship with her however my stepson told me that she still thinks to this day that I am the cause of their breaking up (it had been over 3 years that they had been split up when I meet my hubby and at the time, she was going out with a guy that she had cheated on my husband with so I'm not sure how I kept them apart)
Also, even before all of her involvement with law enforcements, I had told my hubby that I thought she was mentally unstable (she had the crazy eyes!!) and he always told me I was just being jealous even though I wasn't the only one thinking these things. Behind her back, he's quite insulting about her but to her face, he lacks balls and is so ridiculously pliable. He keeps his mouth shut to keep the peace whereas I'm a more vocal person and prefer to get stuff off my chest.
I realize I'm just ranting at the moment, but I'm fuming inside that he would even suggest this!