How to spread the LOVE <3

Sonya - posted on 07/13/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

I have 3 kids one 9 year old SD and an 8 year old SS and my husband and I had a daughter she is 4 now, my question is that a lot of people that are with me at times not only my family but my in-laws see when it is just me and the kids together that my SD and SS they compete for my attention, I was trying to clean out my room and they wouldn't even give me time to do that so I finally told my husband to give them a job because they wanted to help me but I wanted to go through my own mess, but they ended up just waitting for me to be finished which I was exhausted by the end of the day....on another occasion my mom and I took them to the water park just the other day and all they did was not even play but just talk to me the whole time if my SS wasn't talking to me my SD was, thier grandma finally told them to go play or we weren't going to come anymore and told me I needed to be more firm everytime my 4 year old would try to get my attention they would try to compete with her I mean they love her dearly yet I feel like they are competing for my attention all the time, at the endo of the day I look at my 4 year old that gets really no attention and she is growing up so fast why do I feel so bad I cry when she falls asleep already because I feel like I am missing out on watching her grow up, I have tried to talk to my husband to be more involved as a family because at times I feel like I am doing all the work and I think thats why they compete for the attention they know that I will always be up for playing a game and listening to them read and even sitting by both of them on the couch yet I feel like I am leaving someone out at times, I don't regret any of my choices I am happy and glad to be apart of this family yet sometimes I feel like a single parent and kinda out of steam at times and I shouldn't feel like this......what can I do to not feel like this what can I do for the kids my husband goes to work and them comes home and watches tv the kids don't really hang around him as much as they do with me and when he is off we rarely do things as a family and he goes and plays poker when the weekend starts how do I spread the love??Keep in mind we have full custody and BM is barely getting back in the picture some what and I was trying to fill that spot in thier hearts where they needed it most yet sometimes I feel like I am leaving my 4 yr old out and at the end of the day I feel guilty for not paying enough attention to her what do I do ???