I m going through...ALOT!

Megan - posted on 04/23/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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The BM of my SK's is taking us to custody court , or so my husband says. Shes pretty much endless . We will need money to come up for court costs for getting my husband situated. Its like we just been to court 3 months ago. The judge will NOT take all this crap easily against well BOTH of them. Maybe my husband more.The mother has rights and the judge says one more time its JAIL TIME. My husband seems to not care, the judge didn't care about how long BM stayed away for 6 months. My husband and I have 5 kids total in our house. 2 are mine and 3 are his. They are 11, 7 and 3. Its so frustrating. I can't take much more. Why on earth would she want or care about her children now? We have been lovin those kids as if they are mine. Not sure what to do . Shes pretty head strong and mouthy. She always is getting her way for the past we have been winning or so it seems in court. Hopefully here in Austin things will change! We need some Texas Justice. lol What bothers you SM's the most with court? Or do you not deal with it? I m going to start to not care. If my husband chooses to keep getting himself in contempt and do such awful things which could "hurt us," im against this.

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Let me see if i understand. She has been absent, wants back around, and your husband said no. Am I right?
My husband likes to make BM take him to court if she's been absent. Normally, when she "comes back", she will say she is coming soon, asks for a schedule, and when one of us try to talk to her about it, she will start a fight so that no schedule can be given. Or, she refuses to provide an address to us. Therefore, she ends up taking us to court claiming that we refuse to allow her time with the children. Due to her attitude and mannerisms, the judge tends to side with us.
This time, we filed contempt on her for not providing an address, blocking my husband from calling her, and filing another false report with the dept of child services. (judge told her to stop or she'd be in contempt).
There are many times i thought my husband was going to be held in contempt. It has taken a lot to learn how to jump through the loop holes in the system when it comes to Parenting Time/Visitation. You have to know how to file the paper work when you are pro se for one. You have to know the proper terminology and at times, the states codes that go along with what you are doing. Researching Family Law, Parenting Time, any and all information I can find has helped us out a lot!!!
Yes, BMs who are the non-custodial parent have a Vendetta against the Dad and StepMother. It stems from jealousy that he is happy with another woman, that he has forgotten her and moved on, that another woman is raising her babies...
If the chance is honestly high that he could go to jail, do some research on your part to use in court. Make sure you have the information that you need. See what your state says about the non-custodial parent and abandonment. How does this effect the children? Do they go to counseling because of her inaction as a parent? mine do! This time around, BM was gone for 14 months! So, now we have to begin counseling once again. What our plan of action is - is to have them go in for the reason of evaluating their emotional and mental state whereas BM is concerned. Is she good for them to be around?
Does he worry about their overall well being when it comes to their mother? If so, he needs to state that to the judge. Parenting Time/Visitation is for parents to bond with their children continuously, to develop and maintain a relationship, to know that they can depend on that parent - no matter if they live with them or just visit them. Her not coming around and then popping back up does not show them consistency, or strengthen a bond - not to mention maintain it. It shows the kids that when you are a parent, you don't have to be responsible. It goes against any and all morals/virtues/ethics that you are attempting to instill in them as what a family is and what it is all about.
These are excellent points to make to the judge. Your husband must understand, believe, and present with confidence that he believes these things and that he is only concerned about what the children are learning at this point about family and life.
I hope this helps you out. Sorry I wrote so much! I am going through BM problems as well right now (as I wrote a bit about). We know all too well what it feels like! I wish the best to you and yours and that your husband will not be held in contempt! :)

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