Angela - posted on 02/19/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )
The big thing here from all the posts is about putting your foot down. The games that get played!!! I have an issue where my ss wont meet me and my husband visits at ex's house regularly. If ss did visit with us it would be disaster anyway. I found out yesterday that 13 yr old ss still sleeps in mums bed. boy does that kid have to compensate for his mothers misery. No wonder he cant seperate and come and visit us. Still if he did i am sure he would run to her with all the dirt possible and my life would become more challenging. Also I find that a lot more is expected of my children than my husbands. He is constantly reminding me that his son is at a "tender age" and that its ok for him to want the best of everything so he looks good infornt of his mates. he is in the top soccer team in adelaide, great that he can play soccer but no one can actually afford the fees. he HAS to have the best shoes for soccer, $150 kangaroo skin etc. he also plays indoor soccer, different shoes for that, he also plays football, different shoes again. He wont wear clothes that make him look like a retard....He has a playstation 3, guitar hero the latest mobile phone, goes to an exclusive catholic college and if he doesnt get what he wants, hides under his blanket. My 15 yr old GIRL accepts markdown clothes and bargains and understands that we cant afford brand names. I dont believe for a minute that my husb has cheated on me but sitting in their old house and drinking their coffee and eating their food and fixing the drawers and building the dog house and feeding the dog while they go away may not be cheating but it certainly is being the man about both houses... I have put my foot down very firmly and we have done nothing but fight for the last month. every time i think Ive hit a turning point, something else comes along. I find it difficult to stay too. Talk is cheap and action speaks much louder. So when you find that extra money has gone to his child that has come from money earmarked for your own when you have already shown that he ( husband) is not paying his way as it is and you and your child are supporting his other family, A definate stand has to be taken. My husband has agreed to go to councelling. No appt has been made yet. its been a week. So do I nag? do i fix it and make it for him(i dont think so) threaten to leave (again). I told my husband that I believe he has a co dependant relationship with his son. He didnt like that much. He gets the shits when my kid leaves the milk out or doesnt change the toilet roll etc. After all she's 15. I guess I'm just really shitty today.