Need opinions from both bio and step moms

Tracy - posted on 11/10/2010

I never even gave this a thought when I got my tattoo. I have my children's initials in my tattoo including my SS. Why? He is my son in my heart if not from giving birth to him. You would think that a BM would be happy to have someone in her child's life that wants to show how much they love that child. I know there are jealousy issues but I guess I have been dealing with them for so long I don't care. I Love my SS and No one can take it away from me. He is a child of my heart. Don't let a jealous BM take this away from you!

Holly - posted on 11/09/2010

At least she's being nice about it! :)

Tamara - posted on 11/08/2010

Well, just an update, I actually talked to my SS mother about it, and who knows if it's how she really felt, but she said it was fine and that her husband would be including our little man when he did their kids names too. Guess it worked out well.

Ola - posted on 11/05/2010

I am a step parent... and I say go for it.. You lov ehim as your own go for it.. regardless of the BM opinion. yout wo share that child.

Kathie - posted on 11/05/2010

You should have your stepson's name on the tattoo, it really doesn't matter what the bio Mom thinks about this. It is your body and she should be glad that you love her child like your own. There are too many cases out there where the stepkids aren't. Best of luck and go with your heart!

Elizabeth - posted on 11/04/2010

I have 3 SS and 2 bio kids. I plan on getting a large tattoo down the entire left side of my ribs (close to the heart) in honor of my kids and I will be including my 3 SS in it as well. I know for a fact when their bio mom finds out she will flip, however it is my body and I am now and forever will be part of those boys life and love them and treat them just like I do my own bio kids. They were 2 and 1 when I came into their lives however so that may make a difference but they have all chosen to call me mom despite their mothers effort and dismay about it so I feel I have every right to do so, and you should to. Go with your heart and if you feel that is what you want then go for it.

Charlie - posted on 11/04/2010

your body, your heart to share with your stepson and if hse takes a fit its her problem not yours, go for it! I have 4 step kids and I always included them in everything as my own and their mom wasnt always thrilled about it, but it was my choice. You are a good person for loving him that way and he is lucky to have you as a stepparent! good luck!

Deb - posted on 11/02/2010

I have 4 SK and I dont care what their moms say or do...its none of her business...My bio son and his wife got me a mothers ring and he had all 6 kids on it just like I would want it...and actually when he gave it to me at Christmas time...my 2 SD's said...Thanks Joey you could have included us when you got her the ring...My SK's are older...29, 27, and twins 25 yrs. So it does not matter...YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT!!! You love your SK's so put them in on the tattoo...If I were to get another tat...that involved kids I would include all of my kids. They know that I dont like the "step" lable..I do not expect them to call me mom...they have a mom...but when I am talking about my kids...unless it is totally necessary..I just say the me and my hubby have 6 kids. Best of luck to you!!!

Jenn - posted on 11/02/2010

I think you should do what you feel. You don't need bio mom's permission. She should be happy you feel that way about your stepchild. I say go for it.

Jessica - posted on 10/31/2010

Really she can't do much other than complain about it! I say if you want to add his name do it! I myself am closer to my step dad than my Bio dad.

Tamara - posted on 10/30/2010

:) yeah I went back and forth on it too Brittany, but my conclusion was that if I was going to profess that I love my stepson and treat him as my own, if I'm going to get a tattoo with my bio kids on me, then I need to prove my words are true and include my stepson too. I went and got it done, with all three. I didnt tell her, if she finds our, I'm not worried, because I love my stepson and I have spoken with actual stepkids who have relationships with both mom and stepmom, or dad and stepdad and all of them have stated that if their stepparent had left them out, they would have felt hurt.

Eliz - posted on 10/29/2010

Don't ask her, don't tell her, its none of her business and if she finds out and chooses to throw a fit then let her. It's your body & u can do with it what you want.

Brittany - posted on 10/28/2010

Im so back and forth on this topic.. i was just talking to my fiance about it a couple nights ago... because part of me says go for it because i would LOVE to be able to do it my SS means just as much to me as my BS and i dont feel they should be treated different but then the other part of me feels that its wrong lol! ugh

Brittany - posted on 10/28/2010

well me being a SM i will put my 2 cents in lol!!! personally i think its a little outta place to put something thats permanent on your body with your SK name.. a mothers ring would be different .. but then again its your body do what you want!

Tamara - posted on 10/27/2010

Definitely!

Mandie - posted on 10/27/2010

Oh that sounds good- good place to have a major vent but not get youreself in legal hotwater!!

Tamara - posted on 10/27/2010

haha yeah if you make yourself a blog, add me so i can add you. its nice because you can only add someone if you have their email or their link, you cant search them if you dont.

LeeAnna - posted on 10/27/2010

haha loved that link wanna make one for me!! lol thanks i really needed that laugh

Tara Lee - posted on 10/27/2010

go for it ! I plan to after my son is born (he's the last)...then I'm getting all 4 kids names put on (2 step & 2 bio)...I have been in their lives for 16 years and don't plan on going anywhere...besides, I don't think their BM would care...she knows I love them like my own...

Mandie - posted on 10/27/2010

LOL- had a quick read- that's tellin her! I wont go into my situation as it's too sordid and "Days of Our Lives" to be believed; but suffice it to say delusion features heavily with our BM too. Good luck to them I say, they're only hurting themselves.

Chrissy - posted on 10/27/2010

got it, thanks!

Chrissy - posted on 10/27/2010

Tamara, said not found.....

LeeAnna - posted on 10/27/2010

what i did was get my kids ( both bio and sk) birth signs done on my shoulder i did it in the shape of a cross and i told the kids that god brought our family together and i just wanted to show them all how much i love them and that i love them all the same :) id say go for it!!! express your love of your children in ANY way you choose

Cylie - posted on 10/27/2010

right i am right friggen there my ss dumb mother is delousinal!

Holly - posted on 10/27/2010

I put my stepdaughter's symbol on my tattoo (she has a butterfly on my family tattoo and her birthstone is on my mother's knot design). She does live with us full time, but even if we just had visitation I would add her. She's a part of my hubby, and therefore a part of my family - NO MATTER WHAT.

Her bm knows that I have our daughter on my tattoo designs (they aren't actually done yet - waiting on money) because our daughter told her (I let our daughter design the wings on the butterfly that represents her). She hasn't said anything, so I don't worry about it...

Tamara - posted on 10/27/2010

Yup! Too true. What I find hilarious, is that I have on my fb profile that my two bio kids were made purely out of love and planned, and she just added to hers that my SS was made purely out of love because to have a baby you have to make love. HA! Yeah, NOT. For starters, all she was was an easy lay for my husband because he was heartbroken his ex fiance had dumped him right before the wedding, and she was the first to "be there", they never even DATED! Psshh,...and she wants to say he was made out of love. Sorry, I love him to death, but he was unplanned and NOT made out of love at all because my husband never loved her. She's delusional.

Cylie - posted on 10/27/2010

she can put her big girl pantys on and deal with it! thats wat she can do! Its ur son 2 step or notstill FOREVER!

Mandie - posted on 10/26/2010

LOL! I have just heard so many horror stories of selfish stepmoms- both from my divorced friends and also friends who grew up with an 'evil stepmom' that I thought I was doing the right thing in the way I care for her kids. But as I said in my first post- damned if you do and damned if you dont!

Tamara - posted on 10/26/2010

I know! Ive actually asked BM if she'd rather me not treat him as my own. She didnt have anything to say to that if I remember correctly. Lol

Mandie - posted on 10/26/2010

LOL! I guess that's the one thing I'd like to say to BM 'so let me understand this? You're saying you'd rather I was MEAN to your kids b/c then you wouldn't feel replaced?? Even if it meant that your kids are living half their lives with someone that's mean to them?? RIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!"

Tamara - posted on 10/26/2010

You'd think! :P

Mandie - posted on 10/26/2010

Well good luck with it and at least you have the right attitude in your heart- you'd think she'd be grateful for that wouldn't you?

Tamara - posted on 10/26/2010

Thanks, guys. I know, not everyone's situation is the same. I know she would probably get all upset just because she's that type of person, but honestly, Im not all about her feelings, I'm about our little guys and I know if it was me as a stepchild, I would want someone who says that they love me as their own to include me regardless. Just like the fact that I'm a messianic jew, and we celebrate the Jewish holidays. At first she got mad that we included him, but hello, that would be mean to leave him out. She got over it. Not sure what her reaction will be with this one. Hopefully i wont have to find out unless she sees it.

Mandie - posted on 10/26/2010

Ah I have considered this one myself- damned if you do and damned if you dont, I say. Recently i got some jewellry with my kids fingerprints on them and SS was apparently offended that I didnt get his done. But if I had his mother would have quite literally gone postal, despite the fact that she deliberately leaves him out of things at her home b/c he chose to live with his dad and I. The eldest didnt care less but he thinks of me in whatever terms his mother tells him to so I cant win there. HOWEVER, both boys still worship the ground she walks on and would tell me not to include them if that's what she wants- so for self-preservation reasons I will not be getting their names into my tattoo. However, your situation may be nothing like mine and if you feel strongly about it, I would do it. Be prepared for some fall-out though, is all I will say.

Corynn - posted on 10/26/2010

I have a 2yr old "step"daughter and her BM is not involved, been gone for over a year so I'm not exactly in the same situation you are in, but I am getting a tattoo of my daughter's name and I personally don't care if BM throws a fit or says anything, because like you said, it's your body and he is a part of your family, so I think you should do it. If she says anything, just tell her that you know that he is not biologically yours, but he is still a part of your family and it is your body and you can put his name on it if you want to.

Chrissy - posted on 10/26/2010

Let her throw a fit then. There is nothing that she can do, like you said it's your body. I wouldn't go and flaunt it though LOL