Need some advise BM'S & SM'S

Desera - posted on 10/26/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

Background: I met fiance in 2006, the kids were living with their Grandma. BM said she couldnt take care of them cuz she was griefing over her dads death. They continued to live with their Grandma cuz it was a better enviroment for the kids at the time since I was still in high school and working full time and Lucas worked construction and didnt come home at a decent time. We would take the kids every weekend during the day cuz they wouldnt sleep in any other bed than their own.The BM had very little contact with the boys.
In Dec of 2007 Grandma told both mom and dad that she was going back to school and one of them would have to take the kids. The BM said that she wanted to take them, Lucas didnt object because like I said he worked late I was still in school and working part time, he also thought that BM might actually step up and do her part. On Jan 11 2007 the BM got the kids. She lived 3 hours away from us so the first time we got to see the kids after she took them was Jan 26 2007, when we met her 15 min from our house. At that time Lucas gave her $250. After he gave her the money she told us that she forgot their clothes cuz she was staying at a frineds house and we would have to go buy them some, they also only had a jacket on and we live in Missouri so it was cold! So we wnet and spent amlost $300 on them some new clothes and a brand new winter coat. On Sunday Jan 27 2007 we dropped them off at her house with ALL the clothes and the coats. Tuesday Jan 29, Lucas gets a call from the BM stating that he needs to come get his kids asap and that they would be living with him cuz they wouldnt keep her house clean. So I leave work to go with him. We get there and once again the kids only have a jacket on and its snowing! We put the kids in the car and he asks her where their clothes are and their coat, she said she forgot it! The next day I skip school to take care of them and go shopping for them some clothes, I just bought a couple outfits cuz BM said she would bring all their clothes on Friday. I missed a whole week of school cuz we didnt have a babysitter. The weekend comes and goes and still have no clothes! we tried to call BM, she dosent answer, left many messages and she never calls back. So when I got paid I went and spent my whole check on them clothes. We had to by them everything! Finally My grandma decided to watch the kids for us, free of charge since this was kinda thrown on us all at once. The BM had no contact with the boys for the first 6 months we had them. Then one day she called my phone wanting to see the kids. So Lucas told her that she needed to take them everyother weekend, cuz my granmda had them more than us since we both worked weekends. Finally in June I quit my job so that they could be at home more. The mother never spaid Lucas child support and when we asked her to buy them things she would say I can't I have bills to pay.
In Aug of 2009, Lucas decided to get custody of the kids.We went to court, had lots of documentation, reciepts from when he would pay her CS and everything. The court wouldnt give him full custody cuz he isnt a US citizen. Him and the kids BM have joint custody with him having physical custody. The BM is supposed to take the kids everyother weekend and everyother holiday. The BM always made up excuses why she couldnt take the kids on her weekend, but then would post on fb and myspace( we were both friends with her) something completely different. Last halloween she was supposed to take then and she said that she couldnt because she couldnt handle walkin with them and her at the time 8 month old! So we kept them, then she was wanting us to prink out pictures of them dressed up for her. We told her no! And we stopped asking her if she wanted them on the holidays. If she didnt say anything the week before we made plans with them and they wouldnt go until we were done. Last Easter she didnt take them, she said she had to work but we found out that she just didnt want to take them cuz she wanted to go out of town with her friends. This past summer she was supposed to take them for a month and only ended up taking them for a week. In Aug 2010 we asked her to help buy the kids some clothes for school, she said she couldnt cuz she had to by here baby some diapers and she had bills. In Sept 2010 the kids went to BM's house for the weekend, she call me about 5 pm and said that we would have to feed them dinner cuz she was just n o feeding them lunch! I told LUcas about that and he called her and went off on here, she said that she didnt have nothing for them to eat and she couldnt get a ride to the store to get anything.( She had went out for dinner the night before, right next to the store!) The kids didnt eat for over 10 hours,she said they werent hungry anyways cuz they didnt tell her. So to change the subject she told Lucas she was gunna send him some money for the kids the next day. 2 weeks later still no money so Lucas told her that she wasnt taking them until she gave him some money. About a month ago BM posted on her fb that she was getting cable and internet, so Lucas asked her why she can pay for that but cant pay for the boys. All she could say was that her bf was paying for it not her. He told her that instead he should pay more on the bills so that she can send some money to help with the boys. She told him that HE would have to talk to her bf!! So he told her that she was no longer allowed to call the boys on the phone( she only called maybe 2 times a month and the whole phone call only lasted about 5 min). She has not talked to the kids in over a month and hasnt seen them in almost 3 months.

So my question is do u guys think that he made the right choices or what?