Bridget - posted on 10/21/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )
My step-daughter will be 10 in January, and her mother is a drug-addicted who smokes crack, and has been on and off drugs since Thea (my step-daughter) was 1 year old. I have been raising Thea since she first turned 5. When I met my husband her mother was in rehab. She gets out and is clean for a year and a half until we get married and then she goes back on drugs again, but we didn't know this until she had Thea while we were out of town, and on our way back got a call from the police, and she had left Thea alone while she left to go get drugs, and Thea was six years old at this time. So back to rehab she goes. Thea started calling me mom in March of 2007 and has never stopped since. Once again towards the end of that year, her mother went back on drugs, and Thea did not want to see her for the longest time, and so her mother gets a lawyer and gets standard order visitation rights, and she sees Thea 4 times, and the last time Thea has spoken to her natural mother was Memorial day of 2009, and we took her mother back to court to try and get sole custody, and she just gave up her visitation rights on her own, and has been in rehab ever since, but we have told her natural mother over and over again, that the next time she breaks Thea's heart she will never be allowed to see or talk to her again, and Thea is firm that she does not want to see her, but my question to all of you is, do you think that she really feels this way, that she doesn't trust her natural mother and doesn't want to see her, or do you think it's her way of wanting to please us? She says that I'm her only mom, and that makes me feel good because I have literally been her mom for the last 5 years. I mean taking her to school, doctors appts, having bday parties for her, teaching her how to do things, taking care of her when she's sick, all of the momly duties, i have done, and to me it just seems as if her natural mother just wants to be in the picture when it's convenient for her and when she decides to stop smoking crack. I just don't want Thea to hate us for not letting her natural mother see her. What do you guys think?