New Book for Step Moms

Laura - posted on 02/11/2010

i know i would like to know how to handle the childs BM when they sit there and tell the children you arent their mom!! i am having this issue right now with my 3yr olds BM

Joyce - posted on 02/10/2010

I have been remarried for 8 yrs. My step-children are grown..but still present a big problem..I have treated them as guest in my home,but they are very rude to me,& try things to cause fights between my husband & I. I would like to read about others that have simular problems & how they handled these.I think real-life stories would be great! Thanks

Kimberly - posted on 02/10/2010

I agree with Emily. Step moms go through ALOT. It is very hard when as a mom you give them everything you have and love them unconditionally, but you never seem to get through or they never seem to realize until years later just how lucky a FAMILY is.

Catrina - posted on 02/08/2010

I sort of skimmed through the posts here....but I have a friend who was a SM -- her and the BD are now divorced -- ok might confuse you here....SM and BD divorced, and SM and BM becamse really good friends. They have been intereviewed or will be interviewed by the authors of this book "No One's The B*tch" of course minuse the *

I am a SM myself, and I can't find enough things to want to knock my head on...this BM makes me nuts because she is down right insane and irrationaly beyond belief. But I never give up, hoping one day --- she'll get smacked and the reality will come into focus.

Nicole - posted on 02/08/2010

I think ur idea is a very good one. Most people don't understand the relationship between a step child and there step mom. I have two step sons and one is 17yrs and the other is 16yrs. It is hard but I just try to be there friend and someone they can come to and trust me to tell me anything. I know I am not there mom. So why act like I am. I just want respect from them. that is it.

Misty - posted on 02/06/2010

I would like to read about BM, and ways to handle you stepchild when they come home from the BM, setting rules, and having control in your house while your stepchild is there

Kacelyn - posted on 02/05/2010

dealing with the birthmothers, definately.

Julie - posted on 02/05/2010

Wow. I've been a stepmom to two fabulous boys (9 and 6) for nearly 3 years now. I guess we're really lucky because the four parents (ex-wife, stepdad, Dad, and me) get along well and know that the most important thing is the kids' well-being. It's not always easy, of course, but I've heard so many much, much worse horror stories.



As for the book itself, something in real, funny, language would be great - not so much psycho-babble or technical. The more real it sounds, the more relatable it will be...I hope your project goes well!

Tania - posted on 02/02/2010

I would love some advice on raising step children as I have 3 of my own kis all boys and my partner has 4 I would most likley read a book from someone whos been throug it or going through it rather than some doctor. good on you will look forward in seeing your book in the shops.

Debbie - posted on 02/01/2010

what a great idea! I just dont know how a book will prepare you for something like this. If I did read a book I would like to have read thats it's ok to love them and not to take anything to heart when they say bad things about you after all the time, energy and love you have banked on this relationship. That let Dad do all the dirty work and NOT to become best friends with the bio mum to make life easier. Not to have any communication with her at all. The less ammunition she has the better. Even though they are adults they still need your love and guidence, and they will appreciate you loving them for who they are, in their own time. They will thank you for the thankless work you have done for them, when they grow up and start seeing things for themselves.
Good luck with the book and I hope you have a great response to it

Thania - posted on 02/01/2010

I feel that any information that can be shared would be a great help. I know how to raise younger children from helping close friends and family but I knew nothing of older children. I'm a step mother of 2 beautiful children 10+ and its not easy. I really didn't know what I was getting into but I was willing to make a go of it from day one and I have to say that its been one the best things I've ever done. I'm still learning how to deal with the things that a 13 and 10 year old goes through, but I try to remember what I went through when i was that age and it seems to help. I hope that your book comes together smoothly and I hope you let us know when it gets published so we can buy it!!!!!!

Cara - posted on 01/30/2010

I would love to read a book as an experienced stepmom. When my husband and I started talking seriously about marrying someday (and also when the BM drama started and I knew I would need some support) I read up on a bunch of great books that gave lots of valuable advice on how to deal with the children, the BM, your husband, etc... but I feel the books aren't as helpful to me now that I know how what to EXPECT it just SUCKS dealing with it. I would love some more books by someone who isn't afraid to put out there all of the CRAP we go through without sugar coating it for the inexperienced. Someone who can be candid about how ridiculous the BM can be an how unappreciated we can feel. I almost feel like my other books made it appear that someday everything will just be a-okay in order to not scare away the new stepmoms, when in reality, it is likely that BM will never accept the change, the kids may never like you... etc... but you can still make it work regardless. I just would love to see a book that I could read NOW, 7 years in and not surprised by anything BM pulls, or in 10 years from now when my stepdaughter is 18 years old.

Hope that helps!!!

Emily - posted on 01/29/2010

The one thing that I didn't realize before I became a step-mom was exactly how hard it is. We don't get the recognition that biological "mommies" get. We deal with behavior issues and might be the only one who can practice "tough love" in a family, but we don't always get the pat on the back until years later.

Mandie - posted on 01/29/2010

Go u Amanda~! I think new step mums who happen to be having issues with BM need to hear about how to deal without personalising it- maybe you could co-write or research with with a family therapist or similar. I think I would have been better at this many years ago if I had learned this early on.

ELizabeth - posted on 01/29/2010

I think that is great you want to write a book! ANd at the moment I can't think of anything I would like to add to your book.